It's all about me - A Fairy tale

Dear Friends,

This is a short story on Marriage I wrote in first person. I have given all the parts (5 in total) in the same thread in subsequent posts. Hope you will like it. Please do leave your valuable comments and let me know what you liked/disliked about this story.

Thank You,
ILT

It's all about me

A Fairy Tale



1

​

I saw my husband today, well ex-husband, on the main road in his bike, when I was standing among the crowd for the MTC bus. He wouldn't have attracted my attention so much if it wasn't for the lady sitting behind him. The bright yellow cord around her neck and her smile on the face even on the peak hour traffic didn't miss from my observation though the bike crossed me within seconds and which also confirmed me that they might be very newly wed.

She looked bit rural to his taste - her old fashioned saree, matching scrunchy, elbow length blouse and mild turmeric on her face. She should be 25 or 26, the same age as I am. He might have deliberately chosen her after the bitter experience from our marriage.

I have to get into the bus which is currently approaching or just crossed the bus stop. I had missed 2 buses already because of not willing to breath into other people's mouth. But I am starving and I won’t get food if I reach the hostel very late. Luckily I got to stand near the pole where I stood leaning on it on my sides and watched the roadside through the half opened window. I got my leg stamped once and my duppatta pulled twice before I got down at my stop.

I slackened my steps as I reached the working women's hostel I am staying in. Its kind of place where you will either find groups of girls pep up the place or rarely see somebody with some smile on face. It is the later ambience I preferred.

I reached my room, pushed the door open. My north indian room mate was immersed in her book. I said ‘Hi’; she didn't bother to return it, but still smiled. That’s all the conversation I am going to have tonight. When I joined this hostel, the warden asked, "Do you prefer to be alone or have a roommate?". I don't want to be alone so I picked the second choice. Now that idea seems stupid.

I changed my salwar, slipped into the nightwear. I reached the canteen, filled my plate with 2 rotis and vegetables, chewed the rotis with absolutely no rush.

When I went back to my room, my roommate was on the phone. I have learnt something by now. If I hear sobbing sound and the lights were on, I shouldn't ask her "Mind if I switch the lights off?", or else I would have committed the sin of disturbing a crying lady more than the one whoever is making her to cry on the other end of the phone. Till now I never cared to ask, well the truth is our conversation has never reached the next stage after 'Hi'.

I crashed down on my bed. I really wanted to rest my eyes. But neither my roommate’s Hindi conversation nor the picture of my ex-husband with his new wife will allow me to do so. I half-heartedly picked up the book titled 'Production and marketing of goods and services'. It’s the dues I am paying for enrolling as a part time MBA student as soon as I bounced from my relationship. I wanted to prove that I can do much better without him. But still don’t know the answer to the question 'prove to whom'? I planned to read till she gets tired off the phone.

******​

 

2
​

I was married to my ex-husband for 7 months. He was a carefully picked man from the list of horoscopes spread before me. He matched almost all the conditions I put to my parents when they looked for a groom.

We both are attractive, modern, been in good jobs and well paid. So when we got married, we both had certain rules, conditions and lots of expectations.

The first argument started the next day of our wedding when I found out that it was their parents and siblings who make the rules and not only he was happily dancing to their tunes, but insisted me to do so. Since that day till the day we were together we were fighting.

I didn't like he spending money to his home, and he didn't like I am spending money for beauty parlours;

I didn't like when he considered work as first priority and didn't want to spend money for our quality peaceful time, he didn't like me speaking to my male friends;

I didn't like when he watched TV relaxed when I cooked dinner, he didn't like me complaining house hold chores.

We both picked on everything. Small arguments grew as big quarrels. His 'didn't like speaking with male friends' turned into doubts. Small easy discussions were all replaced by swearing.

The happy-go-lucky girl I was didn't get enough time to meet or speak with my friends.

After few weeks, yes weeks, I realised that we speak to each other just for fighting and getting married was a big mistake. I scolded myself for trading my independence, freedom, happiness for this marriage. Oh, my parents had earful each time they came forward to advice me.

Then one fine day, we both agreed to get divorced. The only decision we made as a couple whole-heartedly.

We got divorced.

I never felt so light when I realised I am not married again. I am happy that I got my life back, that I can spend good time with my friends, do higher studies, start a business on my own etc. The later 2 weren't exactly my dreams. But it sounded cool and would never able to do if I was still married.

I chose a working women's hostel to live in as my parents are in different city (Thank God for that). I was so sure that it’s going to be temporary. All my girl friends called. They were very caring and spoke supportively. They insisted me to ask them any help I need anytime. Couple of my male friends called and they said the same too.

I felt so relieved. I was happy with decision. I rested my eyes peacefully.

******
​

 

3
​

It’s been few months and a year now.

Today I am lying on the bed with the image of my ex-husband with his new wife haunting my mind.

Whatever I thought, things I expected to have happened in my life by now, never turned up.

With great deal of interest I discussed with many about my own business ideas. They listened to me like a tea-break chit-chat. Nobody wanted to give support or work with me. When I went to my parents, who were not happy about my decision of divorce in first place, not only criticised me, but also started looking for a groom again.

So to put their process on hold, I had to drop the idea of business. It’s not that hard because it was not my dream or something. Its something I thought would make people to look me surprised, and my divorce should be the last thing on their mind.

My friends called me every day during the initial days of my divorce. It reduced to once in a week, then never after they got married.

Once I called a girlfriend of mine after she was married, for a casual talk. She piled up all the issues she said that she had in her married, which I am quite sure that she told to console me that I am not missing anything good by being a divorcee. That was the last time I spoke with her yet.

All I wanted was freedom and independence. I have it now. I don’t know what to do with them. I am even not sure what I wanted.

When I lost contact with all my friends, there he was; the only male friend who continued to speak with me over phone and checked on me every time. It kept me going.

As I was the odd woman at work, only divorced among the singles, I distanced myself from them, not wanting to have my life as lunch time conversation subject. I kept myself busy in office. So when I wanted to take a break from work or from my parents "groom talk", I called my friend and we talked. We never talked personal matters and never in person.

When I was once bored of being at my own company, I called him and asked whether we can have lunch/dinner at some restaurant. He reluctantly accepted.

We met the evening at a restaurant and I ordered the meal I liked the most as I didn't have lunch that day. The smell of the masalas made me hungrier. When we waited for our food, my friend, who seemed very restless, started to speak.

"I wanted to tell you something. I think its better to tell now and clear with the things", the words came as skitters.

I on the other hand completely not sure of what is coming, just nodded my head signalling him to continue.

"I am the only son in the family. My parents wouldn't approve me marrying a divorced girl. I wanted to say that clearly to you the earliest", he spitted out the words even faster.

Engulfed with shock and embarrassment I just sat there watching him when he continued to speak seeing elsewhere but my face.

"I can talk to you over phone if you want. But meeting in public place... er... if somebody.. relatives... sees me with you ... ", he started to swallow his words either after he finally understood that I am not what he thinks or he realised that he is a moron.

I was dumped in friendship!

I didn't know what to reply and was saved by the waiter when he came with the food. He placed the plates in front of us, said "Enjoy your food" and left. I picked my purse, picked few hundreds, threw it on the table, walked out without looking back.

First time since I got divorced, I realised, the world sees me as a loser.

******
​

 

4
​

The book 'Production and marketing of goods and services' lay on my chest as I fixed my eyes somewhere on the wall. I didn't know when my roommate finished talking and went to sleep.

I rubbed my eyes, turned the pages and tried my best to read the concepts as the semester was nearing.

Currently this semester is the only thing going on in my life.

I couldn't concentrate after 2 paragraphs. I was not sleepy, but simply because I can't stop my mind asking questions.

Why wasn't I more practical?

Why did I take my marriage for granted?

When he questioned me why I always thought "Who is he to question me"? Why didn't I think he didn't understand and it’s my responsibility to explain?

Why didn't I understand family values?

Why wasn't I ready to sit and discuss things?

If only I would've adjusted with him just 10% of what I am adjusting now with the whole world, I would have saved my marriage.

The first time I cried for my lost marriage.

******
​

 

5
​

The next morning, I called my parents. I spoke with sense which I didn't for the past years, and they were glad that I did.

I said, "I want your advice ma. I am lost. I am lost in this big world. I don't know what to do next."

My mom cried. Then she replied, "You know what I will say. But I am not sure whether you are in the position to remarry"

"I don't know ma. I am afraid, I would blow that one too", words came out in between sobs.

"Then take your time. Think about it. I know you will think clear hereafter as you have come out of your fairytale and realised the meaning of people values. I will wait for your decision", with that she hung the phone.

Days passed.

I was thinking a lot. I was sure I can't be alone. I knew I need a person to live my life with.

I learnt about adoption and the process. I picked an adoption agency and booked an appointment.

I was there sitting in front of the officer. He asked me few questions. Also he stressed that it’s going to be a lot of money. After noting down my preference of the child I want to adopt, he went out the room and came back carrying a beautiful 2 year old girl. She looked at me once and turned her face towards outside of the window. Fingers in the mouth she said something which I didn't understand. The officer stood there for few minutes and left.

He gave me some time to make my decision. I made my decision. After seeing the little girl's face I had answers to my question.

I knew I took the correct decision, for the very first time in life.

I wrote down the cheque for an amount that would easily cross my couple of months salary. I gave the cheque to him as a donation to the orphanage's education trust.

I walked home with the satisfaction I never had in my life.

It was always about me. Yes that’s the answer.

Since the day 1 of my wedding, and even today, it was always about ME. I loved me more than anything in world. I wanted to adopt a kid because I wanted someone in my life, for me. And I didn't even think whether I am strong in the decision of adopting and what is the kid's future if I changed my mind otherwise? I would definitely find a way to walk away. It’s better for the kid to stay with the trusts than to get caught with self-loving, unstable-minded person like me.

I returned to my room. I called my mom that I am willing to get married. She was thrilled and I told that I will take the pain of searching for the groom and discuss with them when I find some match.

I opened an account in online matrimony. I started filling up the form. I submitted my form leaving the 'Partner Preference' section blank.

*******
THE END
*******

Dear Readers,

This story is written to depict the situation of how the Life-After-Divorce would be. Its NO Fairy tale.

The last part "Adoption" was added to show how unstable and wavery a mind of a divorcee would be who is looking for a company. Yes, when a person was left alone in the world with numerous choices, he/she tends to try one after another. In this case, the protagonist is characterised as a girl who does things as and when she thought is correct - without thinking the consequences. Its even more dangerous that she didn't know her problem. When she saw the little girl, she questioned her whether this is what SHE REALLY WANTED? When she wasn't quite sure about that, she walked away.

If only she had asked the same question ("Is it what I really want?") before her marriage, or her divorce, or for a simple matter like enrolling as an MBA student, she would have saved herself from the bitter consequences. (I didn't say enrolling for MBA had bitter consequence, but that was not she really wanted. )

Coming to the adoption part again, it was thought by every lonely woman as much as couples with fertility problems. You can find numerous articles on how ladies/men do adopt on an urge of wanting family, change their mind years or months later, some send the kid back to the agency, rest take back their love and be hard on them.

This was the same thing the protagonist of this story tried to do; but fortunately she didn't.

Hope you liked the story.

ILT


​

​

 

Thanks a lot pink pearls... I am really glad you liked it....

 

mm... seekrama padinga... ungal karuthukkalukkaaga kaathuttu irukken. devi..