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A visit from the Other Side- Part 1

Discussion in 'Stories (Fiction)' started by raji2678, Jan 5, 2011.

  1. raji2678

    raji2678 Gold IL'ite

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    The solitary cottage overlooking the highway was inhabited by Ketan and Nithya. They were well known in their circle as a made-for-each-other couple. They were born with silver spoons in their mouths, and did not have to work for a living. Their wants were few, and were served by the community. A cemetery could be seen from one of the windows of the cottage. The other houses papered like toy houses, when viewed from their window.

    This happened one dark, moonless night...Light gusts of cold wind could be felt. The eerie silence of the night was punctuated by the occasional yowling of a wild cat. There was a gigantic tree near the house, and that combined with the occasional hooting of owls contributed to an atmosphere that would send a chill down the spine of the most brave-hearted.

    "Clang.....Clang....Clang"
    This jarring sound was enough to raise anyone from their slumber.
    This sound was heard rhythmically in quick succession. Apparently, this belonged to someone wearing anklets. Ketan and Nithya could make out that the owner of those sounds was from the Other Side of the Veil.

    They caught sight of a young girl dressed in white...as if she was covered in wisps of smoke. She had a round, pale face. Her deep black eyes looked as if you can drown in them. A long, scented strand of jasmine flowers adorned her long black hair. The sound of anklets could be heard with each step...She was coming towards the house.

    Eyebrows raised wide, Nithya and Ketan looked at each other. The shock of this sight rendered them speechless.....
    :shaking:
    (To be continued)

    Readers, please pen down your thoughts ang try guessing whats going to happen next.
     
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  2. iswaryadevi

    iswaryadevi Platinum IL'ite

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    Wow...good start dear and I liked your narration very much...Waiting eagerly for next part :thumbsup :thumbsup
     
  3. nimmimoorthy

    nimmimoorthy Platinum IL'ite

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    Superb start Raji. Thrilling...
     
  4. raji2678

    raji2678 Gold IL'ite

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    Thanks Ice. You have to wait.
     
  5. raji2678

    raji2678 Gold IL'ite

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    Thanks Nimmi
     
  6. YesBee

    YesBee Bronze IL'ite

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    Great start. I would be more glad if you can include more per episode :)
     
  7. raji2678

    raji2678 Gold IL'ite

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    Thanks YesBee. I will incorporate your feedback in the next serial stories.
     
  8. Lalitha Shivaguru

    Lalitha Shivaguru Platinum IL'ite

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    Dear Raji,

    Nice start but was tooo short.

    I would suggest you to make it little lengthy...

    waiting for more now.....
     
  9. raji2678

    raji2678 Gold IL'ite

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    Thanks Lalitha. I have posted the concluding part. I will incorporate your feedbak in my subsequent serial stories.
     
  10. ILoveTulips

    ILoveTulips IL Hall of Fame

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    oooooohhhhh... chilling..... going to read the next... i dont want to gues... i am already spooked... :)

    Fantastic narration raji... :)
     

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