Husband Idiots!

well a super topic to discuss on...i have all the freedom to decide on things and on imp matters its a collective decision..well do u knw what??even if husband's are ready to give the freedom to us..u knw what they are called by our near n dear ones..especially in laws..they say tht the husbands are hen-pecked...well we dun bother and just go about our way of doing things.....even if the husbands have a will to share things with us..the ppl arnd him change their minds....so most of them do becum idiots at the end.....

lov
sowmi

Originally Posted by varloo

The sink in the kitchen is leaking andI have been telling him that. (I cannot call a plumber and repair it). He got so irritated and so I stopped that. Last week, he fell down inthe kitchen due to that leakage. I just kept quite and now he has realised the problem after nearly months-but yet to take action.
Another is the scooty- the tyre needs to be changed. I got the back tyre changed sometime back after much agrument. He would not hear of changing the front tyre and said that the mechanic did not know anything and is trying to fleece money. Two days after the first incidence, hubby was getting ready to go out somewhere and the scooty skidded and he fell down and had a hard time. Then only he saw that the front tyre is completely smooth. Now he has agreed to change the tyre.

These incidents remind me of my dad!!!

Hi Dear All,

I find this topic really interesting and think that I can put some of my thinking.
I feel this problem arise in homes where a child (who is now a husband or a daughter who is now a wife) has never seen discussion between his parents on family matters. The effect/impression about a relation which comes to us when we were child lasts long. If we will see our parents discussing every vital thing or giving respect to each others thinking in spite of gender, we will start behaving that way automatically. But in a Patriacal Indian home where a father RULES, a son will get an instinct to rule over his wife.
So, in this scenario we can't simply blame our husbands for this behaviour but rather we should see the root cause of it and try to solve the problem.
Like Varloo said that she has informed her Hubby about the water leak or tire change but he didn't followed her instruction. She did her part partially here, because I see that she had already foresaw the troubles connected with these leak/tire problem. So, here she could have added one more line like "I can feel the blah.blah....... dangers associated with this problem, so kindly take quick action before any actual accident happens" while informing her hubby about the problems.
At first your hubby may ignore your warnings but when he will face the consequences, the next time he will definitely look for your suggestions.
Also, men are somewhat adamant, it was the evolution who made him like that, we can't blame them rather we can try to put our thoughts tactically.
Just think of our great great................grandfather ADAM, who could not resist himself to our great great...........granny EVE's pleading to bring the apple in a lovely way, so who were our hubby's, I am sure if things can be presented well, anybody will going to listen.
Probably, I am little away from the original topic, but I tried to think abt the reason behind these kind of attitude of our hubbies.

Thanks to all.

Meeta

Hi,

Good thread and interesting reactions.

I do agree to what Meeta said the upbringing and surrounding do have an influence but not always.

At my in-laws place till my husband's grand mother was there all the decisions were taken by her and the sons...i don't think the daughter in laws had much to say.

Mine is an arranged marriage. So when we were meeting before marriage(we met 3-4 times before giving our consent) my husband said that i don't want a door mat and my wife should be capable enough to take decisions. This was very contradictory to what he had seen since childhood. Even today 13 years after marriage we take most of the decisions mutually sometimes we do individually too, but we respect each others decision as each has their own view point while doing so.

I think now the trend is changing. Also i have seen that when the daily help is away for a few days it becomes difficult for me to handle the entire housework alone...here i get the help of my husband and my FIL (who is a doctor) to do the chorus around the house whenever they find time.

But there are a few people who tell that my husband is a joru ka ghulam. I tell my husband that i help you in your business so you have to help me in mine
which is a rare case. An advantage of being in India is you can get domestic help so a lot of your work load is taken over by them.

Roopa.

Interesting topic - I basically think that for some reason Indian women feel they need to get their husband's approval and acceptance - why? I will definitely consult my husband and he consults me but there is a limit when it enroaches on one's individuality. As much progress as we have made in the last few years, some things do not change. I have hope for the future generation of women...

Hello All
I am new to IL and just stumbled here today. I have been married 23+ years and I know I have a wonderful person as my husband . I have never had this situation that you all describe. we both have always consulted each other and he never does anything without telling eme first and me likewise. but we are happy and loving to each other and are each others friends. I think if someone is married for a long time they really should be in a wonderful place in life and rejoice each others company and be grateful to God that we have each other.
I feel the post title shoud have been Wife Idiots. I know women have a lot of power and should be smart enough to handle a plumbing job or eyebrow job etc. (No offense to anyone)
This is just my 2 cents worth.
regards
chitra