Rules of visiting an Indian family

Hi. I want to start by explaining that this is not my first or school language so i can´t express myself as i wanted to.
I was raised in a european country in a european family (mixed mariage) and so i'm not always sure of indian rules. I would like to know the basic rules of visiting an indian family (for dinner ex). 1 Question i have when visiting a friend of mine who lives with inlaws is "who do i consider the housewife; if i want to give a present to my friend to say thanks for all the work and attention of inviting my family. She has all the work and she was so kind in inviting my big family and i want to give a present but i also have to give to inlaws? Sometimes i want to give a very nice present to that friend and her babygirl because she is so nice to me but i give a less expensive one because i see that she feels that she needs to give me and my kids also very expensive presents. I don't like this because then we are so worried abaut the presents that we don't invite eachother.

Hi Anamika

Well generally, one should hand over the gifts or whatever in the Elder's hands only, with due respect, in your case, you friends' mother-in-law. if you r getting some sweets then very respectfully just give it to the mother in law... if you are buying a gift for your friends' baby girl... while playing with the baby, or talking to the baby, just say, that "hey baby this is for you" and your Friend and her In laws will acknowledge automatically...

and regarding the gifts, u can buy the gift considering your relation with that friend, if you are very old and close friends then you would know how she has BEEN with you, I mean Helping you out when u needed her the most or if its more of a formal relationship then you can see if they are the kind of people who not very strong headed and do acknowledge others' kindness....

But i wud suggest be very moderate in spending for the gift... u dont want to overspend and regret later and neither do u want to be remembered for giving a bad gift for a lifetime... Its a matter of your and their Honour as well...

All the best
~Abha

Yes, i hunderstand what you've said and that is the reason i always give sweets or other presents that can be shared by all the family. I only give present to my friend on her birthday! I usually give some gifts to babygirl. But i really wanted to start giving presents to my friend because i see that she needs things for herself and the house. She is realy a good friend!

hi anamika,
its a really nice thought of u to give a gift for ur friend.well u can always buy sweets and fruits for the elders in the family and u can buy watever u want to give to ur friend and ofcoz the baby.once the elders have understood that u have respected them by buyin sumtin for them also be it even fruits or sweets they wont mind wat u buy for ur friend.
takecare
luv
pavithra

Thanks for helping me. Now i know that i can buy sweets or fruits to the elders and the present i like to my friend. I was worried the elders would compare the presents and not be happy.

hi
no need to be worryin i think they will appreciate ur intention to give sumtin to everybody.have a great time with ur friend.
luv
pavithra