Why have relations become a casual affair?

My mom still believes that it takes years to make a relationship and only minutes to break it. Maybe she belongs to the old school of thought but sometimes I wonder why we don't invest enough in our relationships. I came to a new city after my marriage, trying to make friends and find my feet. I come from a close-knit family so this sudden jolt was emotionally very taxing for me. Many experiences made me wonder why do we become so callous and uncaring even in the simple things of life? A family recently shifted into our building and suddenly the lady was at my doorstep one evening with her six-month old child, just a friendly call. I invited her in, we chatted and sipped tea. I promised to drop into her place the following week. But when I rang the bell one evening, she came out and told me that her baby and she were taking a nap and I sholud come some other time. How come people forget even the basic courtesies when they expect the same from you?
Another time a family was shifting into our building, as I happened to pass by. I pointed out my flat to the lady and said if she needed any help, she could come to my place. The very next evening she came to make an urgent phone call as her daughter had fallen down and got injured and her phone was not installed. But after that episode, I never saw her again. Her business was finished, so there was no need for further interaction!
At the Delhi airport last month, I saw a child standing near the parking as parents were busy unloading luggage from the car. Another car came swooshing down, almost touching the kid. When his mom confronted the driver, the elderly couple and the driver just shrugged and went away. How could they have been so nonchalant about hitting that little child?
I wonder why we never stop to think of anyone other than ourselves? Why we don't see any value in making and maintaining relations? Why friendships have no meaning? I regret I only have questions, no answers.

Hi Palak,

So far i know & what i follow, never expect anything from anybody. "Naeki kar dariya mein daal". You never change others, but what u can do is try to give ur best shot & then leave it to GOD. Never expect & do good deeds as much as possible, so that in future u'll never regret.

Cheers

hi palak
dont worry about others,consider them ignorant to common decencies,ettiquettes,etc...they will realize or learn smtime!
pls continue to do gud n only gud will come back to u!
sangeeta

Dear Palak,

As 'cheer' said, we can do what we like but we can never change others. I have also gone through lots of instances like this in and around my area. I have always got brickbats after having helped them , that is they always blame me for the happening... So nowadays I do not interfere unnecessarily, only if somebody comes to me for help.. that I sure do..
Cheer, What is that proverb you had written, I didn't understand.. Can you clarify that a bit..
Latha

Hi palak
The world has become a global village with the advent of internet on one side and on the other hand... human relationship,socialising has shrunk.From what I see people are either too busy to interact or to keep in touch with neighbours & friends.Why so? I have also wondered many times.Is it because people want to maintain their privacy? I have seen many people getting irritated if you drop in unannounced especially when they are watching TV .The result is.. you get a cold response .
This aloof nature is more prevelant in the flat system and is on the increase in the recent times especially in the city culture .But even today in the villages people help each other ,are united and share a nice bonding.(of course vambum undu )

Regards
Honeybee

Hi palak,

i too have experienced many times . It really hurts even though you don't expect anything inturn other than basic courtesies. As cheer said we cannnot change people. but if we have good heart and if we do good, it has its own value.
As Eljaype said it is better to help pepople when they need.

best of luck to find good friends in chennai.


hamsa

Latha,

Proverb is "Do good and cast it into the river", i wrote in hindi maybe spelling mistake.

Originally Posted by Eljaype

Dear Palak,

As 'cheer' said, we can do what we like but we can never change others. I have also gone through lots of instances like this in and around my area. I have always got brickbats after having helped them , that is they always blame me for the happening... So nowadays I do not interfere unnecessarily, only if somebody comes to me for help.. that I sure do..
Cheer, What is that proverb you had written, I didn't understand.. Can you clarify that a bit..
Latha

Dear cheer,

What does that first word mean?? "naeki" I didn't understand this word.

You said that the meaning is do good and cast in to the river. I would like to know the full and correct proverb. Can you tell me that?
Latha

Hi Latha,

That's the whole proverb, Naeki is a hindi word means do good. Maybe i misspell it.

Originally Posted by Eljaype

Dear cheer,

What does that first word mean?? "naeki" I didn't understand this word.

You said that the meaning is do good and cast in to the river. I would like to know the full and correct proverb. Can you tell me that?
Latha

hi palak,

It is even said in Vedas that human beings should follow Nishkamakarma. That is "Do good and do not expect the fruit".

Whatever good we do is repaid by God the almighty by someway or the other that we dont realise. So trust the TRUTH, it will never let you down. All the deeds that your neighbour & others have done to you are illusions. You get confused by these illusions and that makes you to feel bad about them. Do what your conscious says. Our conscious will always think good (for every human being though he may be a very cruel person) and if we follow it, it will never let us down.

Do good to others as much as you can but never ever believe them in anyway. Believe only in yourself and God. Even our parents expect a lot from us being their children. But only God knows whom we are and why we are born. Take God's name in whatever you do and leave the rest to him. Sarvam Krishnarpanam!

Vanaja