To be or not to be Fair

Till now I was watching TV.I saw an advertisement for a cream that makes the skin fairer,got disgusted and came away.In that advertisement the daughter gets a call for an interview and the mother gives her a tube of the cream that makes the skin fairer.
A fair skin is more beautiful?I can’t disagree more on anything else.I also see in the matrimonial sections of the Sunday newspapers mostly,where, in the 'brides wanted' column,the parents of boys are vey particular about one qualification from the girl ,they would no way comprmise on that, ie the girl has to be fair.Some go to the extent of specifying that the girl should be wheat complexioned.Probably they do not know that with the scientific progress made in cultivating new vaieties of wheat,the colour of wheat has changed.
I may say that beauty is in the eyes of the beholder and you may laugh at me.Well I would say that being fair alone is not being beautiful, my friend.A girl may be very fair but with pimples all over her face that spoil the look.Or she may have dull skin,a skin that lacks the lustre of youth, due to noncare.A woman may be very fair but ,very fat with tyres bulging in the wong places.Or she may wrap her saree anyhow and not drape the saree as it should be.A moman may look very fair and stunning till she opens her mouth.Allow her to talk and the remarks she makes,the conversation that she leads on to, may make people wonder,”Where from this lady has come?”
I strongly feel that in today's world, it is the well groomed girl who gets the attention of those around.A girl or a boy for that matter, may be dark but if she/he is well groomed with clear skin,lean body,a good clothes sense and the ability to speak well ,he or she is the winner.
My elder daughter’s daughter is dark.When I told my daughter, "when she grows up,my grand daughter would lose her dark skin, she will be fair,(grandmothers are a little mad sometimes,please, bear with me),my daughter got annoyed.”Mummy,I am not worried that my daughter is dark.So what,she will be a well groomed girl.She will be a talented girl and will be a kind hearted girl.That is important.Iam just not bothered about the colour of her skin”Well ,I was and am proud of my daughter,that she can think clearly and differently.
I call my grand daughter,”bebo” ie Bipasha .Bipasha is dark,but how beautiful she is!
Do you agree with me that being fair alone is not being beautiful?.

Dear Mithila Madam,

When you see the statement "Girl has to be fair" in matrimonial section, it could be interpreted this way: "Girl has to be fair in her approach & rational in her ways, when it comes to matters between Mom's house and in-laws house". [Girls do you write so when it comes to boys side?! If not, please do so ]

Ok...am not trying to justify the presence of that statement but just gave a different dimension to it!

A "Well - Groomed" girl obviously is more attractive obviously. No doubt! In that case, all your statements about girls having pimples on the face, with a dull skin, lacking lustre, tyres bulging etc. also shouldn't matter right?!

This is just my thought. Hope I am not mistaken and I have not hurt you.

Cheers
Jenz

Dear Mithila Ma'am,

I wholeheartedly concur with you that 'Fair' is not necessarily 'beautiful'. Beauty as such, is not an absolute concept - what is beautiful in one setting may not be so in another.
For example, a beautiful woman in Africa is one who is well-endowed. However, in America, beauty demands a sleek body!

Unfortunately, in our country, the discrimination between fair and dark skin is very deep-rooted, from several centuries ago. The matrimonial columns stand testament to that, as you said. But these days, young people are more self-assured than before, and many pay attention to grooming and personality rather than just extraneous features...And as you rightly pointed out, Bollywood is also leading the way by showcasing dusky heroines like Kajol & Bipasha..

Slowly the old norms are giving way, and it is only a matter of time before skin colour becomes just incidental...So as your daughter aptly put it, it does not matter at all!

Best wishes to you,
Regards,
Sowmya

Hi Mithi

Being fair and thin should not be the criteria for selection either for marrige or for job, but the world has framed as Man to be tall, dark and handsome and woman to be short, petite, fair and beautiful and it can never change!

Though the most beautiful diva of Bollywood Rekha is dark and she is stilled called "Hot".

Dear Mithilaji,

It is funny how we humans are never happy with what we have.

Oh yes, we Indians & Asians hanker after "fair skin." Just walk over to the other side of it. I mean just talk to a Caucasian he/she will immediately launch into a speech on why being "Brown skin" is so cool.

We spend money on the so called fairness products. Here in Oz, sadly many young people spend on the tanning salons. A few months ago, there was a case of a young girl who visited the tanning salon so often that she died of Melanoma (Skin cancer).

Millions of dollars are pumped into the beauty industry by people who want to be fair/brown skinned. My colleagues in my work place are envious that we do not have to spend top dollar to get a tan.

In my opinion, beauty lies in the beholder's eyes. Just look at the kids on the street. A kid's smile is the best thing in the world. Be it black or white.

Time we got out of this mindset.

We need to learn from the Africans who proudly say, "Black is beautiful."

Regards,

Corallux

My dear Jenz,
Thanks for peeping in, dear.
When you see the statement "Girl has to be fair" in matrimonial section, it could be interpreted this way: "Girl has to be fair in her approach & rational in her ways
I like the interpretation you have given,that is hw it shuld be being rational and fair.
A "Well - Groomed" girl obviously is more attractive obviously. No doubt! In that case, all your statements about girls having pimples on the face, with a dull skin, lacking lustre, tyres bulging etc. also shouldn't matter right?!
My dear jenz,being well groomed, I think, refers to a healthy body and healthy skin etc along with healthy mind set up,no?Am I wrong?Iam ready to correct my views.
My dear Jenz,this is a forum meant for various issues or thoughts that we express to be taken in a sportive spirit and dicscussed.Where is the question of hurting me my dear,I more than welcome your guiding me on my opinions.We always keep learning.
love
mithila kannan

My daer corallux,
Your FB was a very interesting read.Interesting to know that people spend dollars to get brown skin and we spend in thousands to get rid of the brwn skin and bcome fair.
I have also seen coloured people,their skin is flawless and very beautiful.Nature the sunshine or whatever it is has guarded them.I have rarely seen pimples n the faces of coloured(black)people.
My own FIL was keen that his DILs and SILs should be fair,he wanted the grandchildren to be fair.This attitude,craze for fair colour will ofcoure change in due couse.
Thanks for the lively FB.
love
mithila kannan

Dear mals,
Hope lies eternal in the hearts of man ,my dear.The world is changing its view in this aspect,the total change and fair ,brown and black being given the same platform and same treatment is not far off.
love
mithi

My dear sowmya,
Thank for taking time to send a fb.I can't agree with you more on this.Being fair alne is not the criteria for being beautifl.
The matrimonial columns stand testament to that, as you said. But these days, young people are more self-assured than before, and many pay attention to grooming and personality rather than just extraneous features.

You have said it.The young are paying attention to grooming themselves,the old shuld understand this and fast shed their unnatural preferance for fair colour.
Krishna the favourite God of one and all was and is dark,no?Rama was not fair.
love
mithila kannan

hi MK,

This ad, and other ads on the same lines, have really made me ponder on it.

Me being on the other side of the fence, to say dusky, I feel, there is a stigma/mental block about fairness in the indian society.

My son being dark, was made fun by his classmates in a class when we were in bahrain..he came home and asked me, how can I become fair, I told please tell them, what you are on the inside is what counts, what is on the outside perishes very fast... now that is his standard dialogue..and he has left feeling inferior.

To be or not to be Fair, depends on the parents, the family and society. I still know mothers, who try to do everything possible to make a dark baby fair and not accepting her the way she is...the first acceptances should start at home....

Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder.