To be or not to be Fair

Dear Mithila
Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder is perfect statement
What anyone has to do with the complexion of a girl, dark or fair I think she should be kind, loving,caring and intelligent. Even girls with dark complexion has sharp features and do look more beautiful.

Dear Aruna,
I can't agree with yu more on that.
Have yu noticed,my dear Aruna,the maids who come to our houses or even th ladies who work in the fields or sell flowers on the platform,that they have a charm of their own.There are some old women who wear nose rings on both the sides and apply urmeric on their faces,thy wear their sarees in a particular style with big kumkumam pottu on their forehead.My dear Aruna they don't seem to be concened with what others think of their looks.They are very charming.Sometimes i used to wonder and imagine a particular woman like that,without thi\ose nose rings and big kumkumam the picture would be not very complimentary.These ladies know what suits them.Iam not suggesting that we should go apply turmeric on our faces,but as you rightly said,bauty is in the eye of the beholder.
love
mithila kannan

My dear muzna,
What you are saying is true.You were and are confident about youself and the credit goes to your family a family that neve discussed looks and never put complex in the children.
I have two daughters.The elder one is fair according to me but she calls herself dusky.The younger one has the complexion like marble .Once when we were talking about somethings in this genre ,my elder daughter praised the looks of her cousin sister.Immediately I said,"but my dear,you are also looking vey nice,yu have sharp features"My daughter almost got irritated.She said,"Amma if I praise somebody for her goodlooks,it does not mean tat Iam belittling myself.I have my own strengths"I kept quiet,but thanked God that he has given me sensible children.If we parents instill in our children confidence ,they will turn out wto be winners in life,fair or no fair.
love
mithila kannan

dear mithila,
it puzzles me when people expect fair brides even for their not so fair sons.
i have seen so many people with dark skin but excellent features and the way they carry themselves.also some people who are just fair and totally dumb.
as for me GOD has blessed every individual with something special so we should try to see that and appreciate everyone for what they are,other than commenting on their features and colour.these are immaterial if the person is caring,affectionate and loving.
regards
pavi

Dear pavithra,
I agree with you.God has given each and every one of us a gift, something that is special.More than the younger ones ,the elders have to understand that, and bring up their children without any complex about their looks.
love
mithila kannan

Dear Mithila maam,
How are you? Long time i peeped into Snippets section! Sorry...

Lovely post and the topic is a long.. may be a endless one i think.Our society has some standards ( hell, with them who set these)..Woman should be fair, slim, sweet natured...etc.. Man-dark, tall, handsome and rough .....

So, its only upto every body's mindset to accept a girl with tanned skin.well,I'm a bit tanned in skin color and whenever i ask my hubby, he just tells me.. its your nature that i liked and not your color.Hes fine with that.
Only if people's perpestive of looking at "dark" girls change.. theres no solution to this problem.

Thoughts well penned!

My dear aishu,
I liked that.Dark is beautiful,with blemishless skin and pearl like smile,dark girls can win the world if they want.Iam sure things are changing slowly because nowadays the yunger generation is more intelligent,they are forceful and they have a mind of their own.No one can intimidate them.
You are a precious jewel,had I been a man and in your husband's place I would have carried you away on a horse back like prithviraj!
love
mithila kannan

Dear Mythili,

A superb article based on a simple thought. It's only in India that we place an undue premium on the girl's complexion.
Even yesterday our family friend was talking about a girl to be married. He told me that the girl is well-behaved,well-read, very beautiful, earning very well (monthly salary in India is Rs. 2 lakhs) and went on like that for a few seconds.
I cut him short. "The tone you use makes me suspect that there is some negative point coming down the line. Is the girl a divorcee or something?"
"No."
"Sorry.. for being rude;is there anything special about the girl that the boy's side should positively know,like the way she walks, talks.."
"Not at all."
"Any problem with her family? Was she born out of an inter-caste marriage?"
"No."
"Then..."
"She is very dark."
I was stunned. Bird-watching has been my hobby. (In a ladies forum one has to use euphemistic expressions only). And I have been practising that hobby ever since I was 14. That gives me 36 years of rock-solid experience in bird-watching.
I am pledging all my credentials (as Dr.Kamla does in an emotional scene in ALS 9 - sorry, Mythili, I am publicity geek ha ha ha) to say this. Other things being equal a girl of the same beauty looks more beautiful when she is dark than when she is fair.
Call it my personal preferences or my eccentricity.I would rather prefer Nanditha Doss to the very fair Mohini.

Having said that let me now take help from my grandmother(may her soul rest in peace) to clinch the post.

சிகப்பே ஒரு அழகு, சூடே ஒரு ருசின்னா
கருப்பே ஒரு அழகு காந்தலே ஒரு ருசி


You have written a very timely piece on fairness and beauty. Way back in 2005 I was writing beauty tips. In those days I was like the ancient Greek Philosophers. They used to talk about everything from nature to science and from morality mortality. So was I when we were a group of a mere 100.

I am now very proud to say that my views were the same as your daughter's.
I enjoyed your writing as usual.
Love,

Dearest M Mami,

This is valid post in today's scenario.

I have seen people paying rich compliments to a girl who is fair and belittling her dark counterpart. I had a friend who was very fair but the beauty was not there......... like they call kurippu azhagu was not there. There was another girl who was quite dark but her features were so sharp and she was a crowd puller.

More than all the phsyical beauty if people could see the inner beauty too, this earth would be a better place to live. Though I am fair but both my dd are not that fair. They do complain but I have told them see as age advance my fairness will also vanish. If they want something permanent then to have a flawless character. That is one thing which can carry anybody.

What say you?

Dear Mithila...

Wow very nice post... everyone has given nice FB , so wht and all i wanna to tell has penned already... inner beauty is the real beauty which lives for ever... but still donno y people go craze for this fairness.. especially when they look for alliance...