If everyone is so good,who is not?

sunitha · Aug 28, 2008

Please,dear ladies,don't get offended by this question.This is something I always think whenever I come across incidents like this:

My MIL had a fall down the stairs and is now bed-ridden.Recently an old couple came to visit her at our house.During the course of their conversation,the other lady (who has all her kids abroad),mentioned that their relatives always tell them this-what for you people,all your kids are abroad,you are enjoying life. She mentioned that their relatives are jealous of them.My inlaws said -yes,it is true ,even for us ,our relatives are jealous.

Then the other lady said-whenever someone tells us about their kids leading a happy life,we are happy for them,but it is never vice-versa.My inlaws too agreed to that.

The feeling I got was this..well,my inlaws are so good,those people are also so good.But then,if you talk to anyone on earth,this is exactly what they will say too,we are all so good,everyone else is jealous.Then,who on earth is really bad?:confused2:

srinivasan_vanaja · Aug 28, 2008

Dear Sunitha,

A thought provoking post.

Each one of us have known or unrecognized bad qualities within us. If we can remove all these bad qualities from us, we become G(o)od.

Since the Almighty resides in everybody's heart, we all are GOOD. That Almighty can be recognized only by eliminating bad qualities.

We all are good. But we do not realize the goodness in us or the God in us.

As we add the values day by day, we attain the Godhead from the good head.

Ultimately, there is no a bad person. The journey is only between the Goodness to Godliness. It is a simple philosophy but the practice lies in our own hands.

Anandchitra · Aug 28, 2008

Dear Sunitha
I have also noticed this.. its quite prevalent.

The reason is in the thinking that the person who is talking is good and with reference to them the others are bad.
So everyone ELSE is bad and we ALONE are good!
It is not to say everyone is good and who is bad?

It should be interpreted as I am good and everyone ELSE is bad..

Hope I did not confuse you further!:hide:

vase · Aug 28, 2008

Hi Sunita,

First of all, I liked your avatar! That is simply superb! :thumbsupI still consider Pluto as a planet...

Ok.. now to your snippet....:hiya

I liked the way you have put such a very common and almost daily occurrence in a very simple and straight forward manner. Hats off to you for being so open...

I have come to believe that everything in this world is only relative and nothing is absolute. So, in this case, only the goodness or badness (wonder if there is such a wordbonk) differs in its relative degree. If for someone the degree of "goodness" is at 9.8 on a scale of 10, then for them anybody below 9.8 is "bad". If for another, the degree of goodness is at 7.5, then for them anybody above that are 'good'.

So, that's why, I guess, this question arose!

And this is what is being explained by Vanaja in her reply... in a much better philosophical way! I enjoyed reading her reply too!

Cheers!

malspie · Aug 28, 2008

When I see something bad in a person ( bad according to me), I keep a distance from that person.

I have only one rule, it is one life and live it to the fullest. We have it in us and we can do it!

God has made us very strong and capable, we have to dig this from within and exibit it in our actions, the results will follow.

Let the bads rest, goods are floating merrily.

Sriniketan · Aug 29, 2008

Sunitha,
A nice topic for discussion..
It is like the story which is in Mahabharatha that Dharmaputra saw only the good people and Duryodhana saw only the bad people and both claimed that there are no bad people and good people, respectively..
It always lies in the eye of the beholder...

To put it in a lighter version, those who are kind to us and support us in every walk of life, they are good people, but those who don't listen to us, against us are bad people...

sriniketan

Sowparnika · Aug 29, 2008

nice question, sunitha...
i like to think that it is not about the people, it is about perception...what one considers a good quality, may seem to others as a bad quality...

so, when someone has the qualities that you like, he/she is a good person to you, but someone else may see them as a bad person...
so, i guess no one is good or bad by definition...it is the perception of others which attach the tags to them

my friends may like me and consider me to be a "good" person, but there may be a whole other set of people who don't like me...so, am i good or bad....hmmm, beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder, i guess....

i also agree with srini maam's point of view.... its the approach we take to people.... the same world definitely looked different to Yudhishtra and Duryodhana...

SupriyaDinesh · Aug 29, 2008

Hi sunitha,
I think its more of a feeling(positive/negative) that makes one good/bad on different situations.Take for example..X and Y are friends.X is well off while Y is struggling.X will sincerely pray for Y's success.One day when Y earns more money that X.. X may get a negative feeling and become bad towards Y..This is not for everyone..but for few...Every person gets both types of thoughts.Its how we handle it.We usually do "dhrishti sutthi porradu" to ward of evil..The logic may be to drive away bad feelings of others towards us..How ever close one is we say she/he has cast an evil eye on us..This is just a state of mind..

dolorcosta · Aug 30, 2008

Dear Sunitha

You have raised a thought provoking subject. I have given my comments below, which is not for any specific relationship, but a few general observations that I hope will be found useful.
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We humans are only a sum of our own qualities.

If we can identify good v/s bad qualities and eliminate the latter, then theoretically we will become good people.

Is it a coincidence that the word “God” is contained in the word “Good”.

Shakespeare in his play Hamlet had stated “There is nothing good or bad, but thinking makes it so”

Goodness is just absence of evil- just like darkness is absence of light. While there is no consensus about what constitutes good qualities, if we allow conscience to be our guide, we can aver that compassion, justice, empathy, generosity, truthfulness, righteousness can be considered as universally good virtues.

Characteristics like greed, hate, jealousy, anger, spite, vindictiveness, cruelty can be considered negative and are to be avoided.

Thus we can arrive at the conclusion that something is good, if it ought to exist and therefore we must make all efforts to promote that. Following your conscience will reveal to you that good means <q>desired</q>, good means <q>conformity to Nature</q> or <q>good also means obedience to the will of God</q>

Likewise something that ought not to exist can be classified as bad and our focus should be to eliminate that from our lives.

The final test of a good v/s bad life would be to pause and think- would I like my children to behave exactly as I am behaving. Should they imbibe my same values and beliefs? Or should they eliminate some of my vices and add some virtues.You will be surprised to note that whatever you want them to discard is bad and what you want them to add is good .Thus a definition of good and bad emerges by itself! Responsible parents are the world’s best teachers.

Regards.

sunitha said: ↑

Please,dear ladies,don't get offended by this question.This is something I always think whenever I come across incidents like this:

My MIL had a fall down the stairs and is now bed-ridden.Recently an old couple came to visit her at our house.During the course of their conversation,the other lady (who has all her kids abroad),mentioned that their relatives always tell them this-what for you people,all your kids are abroad,you are enjoying life. She mentioned that their relatives are jealous of them.My inlaws said -yes,it is true ,even for us ,our relatives are jealous.

Then the other lady said-whenever someone tells us about their kids leading a happy life,we are happy for them,but it is never vice-versa.My inlaws too agreed to that.

The feeling I got was this..well,my inlaws are so good,those people are also so good.But then,if you talk to anyone on earth,this is exactly what they will say too,we are all so good,everyone else is jealous.Then,who on earth is really bad?:confused2:
Click to expand...

maithreyi · Aug 30, 2008

Hi friends,
Good discussion is going on here.

Generally in our day to day life we call a person good if he supports us. If he is against us then we call him bad. We always think only we are right and others are always wrong.

But we have to accept the fact that nobody in the world is perfect. It is our attitude to make us think the other is good or bad.