My Sister Priya

There are hundreds and thousands of women who are worth admiring, some women have changed history, some has changed the fate of a nation or a region, while most of them provide love, support and make men surrounding them a better person. My life or rather my thinking, my attitude and outlook on life was changed for the better by my sister Priya, she probably did not think her words would have so profound effect on me as she said some things when she was 8 and out of frustration but her words brought shed light on the important things in life and I changed and I am and forever will be thankful to her for that..

After trying unsuccessfully for 7 years my parents decided to adopt me, I was only six months when they adopted me. I was in my new home for about three months or so that my mother found out that she was pregnant. Back in those days adoption was not socially accepted and my relatives tried their best to get rid of me but my parents did not budge. They decided to give me more love than their own child, they vowed to keep me happy at any cost. A couple of months later Priya was born, I was almost 2 and of course do not remember my earlier days but as I grew older I noticed two things, my parents were nicer to me than to my sister but my relatives treated me differently.

My relationship with Priya was that of a typical brother sister relationship, we loved each other but got into fights as well. I was confused on more than one occasion by my parents behavior towards me – I got more things, they took my side and overall I had it made and I was happy about that but other people’s behavior made me mad. I wished everyone would treat me as nicely as my parents.

My parents could sense my anguish and I am sure they debated about their decision but when I turned 9 they told me that I was adopted. I did not know how to react, it all made sense now but instead of being grateful I became mad at my parents, I was probably angry at my biological parents but took it on my parents. Everything that I claimed to be mine was not mine, I felt like a guest in the house, their kindness felt like an unwanted favor. The more I tried to get away from them the more they tried and we entered into a cycle.

Another thing that I noticed was Priya’s attitude towards me, she always looked up to me and almost worshipped me but I noticed that she appeared mad at me, she acted like she got the short end of the stick I was not sure if my parents had talked to her about my adoption, under normal conditions I would have talked to her but at that time I was too occupied with my problems to worry about Priya’s problems.

When I was 11, Priya and I went to my mama’s place for summer vacation, my Mama disliked me and had a soft corner for my sister. One day while playing with Priya I accidentally broke an expensive piece of showcase figurine. My Mama was mad, he said
“Can’t you be more careful, look at what you did. Its never the same – outsiders will be outsiders, they will never take care of you and your things like family members do. Priya would never do such a thing”
I was not sure what hurt more, the fact that I destroyed something expensive or his words, he did not stop there, he decided to get Priya involved
“Priya I have noticed that you have been mad at your brother recently, has he been bothering you as well?”
My innocent sister said “I am mad at him because he is adopted and he is special”
I was hurt even more, it was not my fault that I was adopted, I wanted to storm out of there, I wanted to leave everyone in my life, they all made me mad, my mama said
“You are mad at him because he gets everything inspite of being adopted right?”
She said “No I am mad at him because he is adopted and I am not – I wish I was also adopted, my mom told me this recently that I grew up in her tummy but my brother grew up in her heart. I want to be the one in her heart not tummy”.
My uncle left us without saying anything and Priya continued with her play routine but those few words brought a lot of things in perspective. I realized then how lucky I was to have grown up in their hearts, and how lucky I was to have parents like that who gave more to me than their own flesh and blood.
Those innocent words that came out of Priya’s mouth changed my life forever. That incident was 30 years ago, today I am married with kids and so is Priya, our parents have passed away and we live in different countries but we are as close emotionally as we were back when we were kids.