Learning What Not To Do

Learning What Not to Do​

Yesterday came a call to Mom from the States, about the death of a far away cousin of my Dad.He was on to Bad times, and this day had to come.


That set me thinking, and brought about this blog.Why do men Destroy themselves, From Riches to Rags to Utter Poverty, that their story looks a fairy Tale to people like me.


We all learn from others, we attend Bill Gates or Shiv Khera’s lectures to learn something and benefit from it in our life.We attend Satsangs, or Temples to learn a few good things and imbibe them in our lives, besides getting mental peace.This is the general trend .


Mine is reverse.I learn from famous and the rich people, what NOT to do in life.The first lesson I learnt was from a very unlikely person, called Rakesh Roshan, the actor and director.The year 1987, when his first film as director “KHUDGARZ” as producer director was released and was a big hit.


In an interview, the reporter asked Rakesh Roshan where did he learn direction.RR told him, nowhere ! While acting, he used to observe everything on the sets.Sometimes he would feel the scene is wrong , and a few times he took the courage to offer his views to the director, and all hell broke loose.Since he was a sidey actor, mostly a sidekick to the Hero, the directors told him to keep his mouth shut, they knew what they were doing, and infuture to keep his opinions to himself.


That hurt RR very much, but did not dishearten him.He knew his career was going nowhere, and he had a son Hritik growing up, and he needed to do something. He decided he will become a producer Director some day and launch his own movies.


So he started to make notes of the movies he was working on, and making notes of the mistakes the directors were making, which he would not make when he made his own films.


The list grew very long, and by learning what NOT to do, RR made his hit debut, by avoiding the mistakes of his directors.


I was very impressed with this logic, this is about 20 years back, when I was like 35, and I too started to look around me, and started to see what I should do and what I should not.The should not list grew much much bigger than the To Do list, and I learnt to avoid foolish mistakes of others, by not doing them myself.


Riches to Rags – I have seen so many people , in my family, and others, who were once Kings, and today absolutely on the roads literally.Here are a few examples, where Show off,Greed for more, lavish spending, led to ruins.

a) A Group of 5 brothers – a very big Business Group, got one of the brother married.Venue Turf Club,Mumbai.I nvitees, Raj Kapoor,Prem Chopra, Randhir Kapoor,and other Filmi Greats.Rumoured to have cost 5 crores then the wedding.100 Rooms booked at Taj, functions agalore.My family visited this wedding, I did not as I was in Jaipur then, and brother was saying the prawns he eat, he had never seen such big and delicious ones.
b) They had their own shipping fleet.
c) Offices all over the world.
d) Every 6 months the brothers will families will meet for a business meeting say at <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-comffice:smarttags" /><st1:country-region><st1lace>Switzerland</st1lace></st1:country-region>, sometimes New York etc.

Today they are Bankrupt, too much overspending by the ladies.One brother who drank a lot, told to settle in Ajmer, where 15000 every month is sent to him for him and his family to live on.Heard he drinks a very cheap brand as he has to make do from all that.Today the families buy from Sales, travel Economy class, and all the jewels gone


Another cousin, New York, was one of the biggest Importer of Garments in his days.Travelled first class, stayed in Suites everywhere in 5 stars, a big showoff,a fleet of Mercs and the likes.


Today Bankrupt, on the streets, works as a Driver for a Taxi Company in <st1:State><st1lace>New York</st1lace></st1:State> !

From these guys I learnt, to live below my means, to save whatever I can, for my old age.


Rajesh Khanna – The Superstar – Had friends allaround him ( well we may call them Chamchas ), laughter and wine flowing in his Bunglow “Ashirwad”.Last heard , the IT guys were auctioning the Bunglow, which was lying vacated, with just a solitary Bulb Burning.

Ive learnt to avoid friends who just praise u, and are fair weather friends.I am stingy that way, and we go dutch, and no giving loans, better annoy a friend by not lending, than by losing the friend and the money.


At a party I saw a few people puking after drinks and shouting, and the host in a very uncomfortable position.I decided, that from now on, I will stick to beer, and avoid whiskey.Reason is that at home, I have my own glass, and measurer and I measure my drinks and drink.In parties the bartenders just put appx amount of whiskey in the glasses, and this can lead to problems for me.


And I have stuck to this routine for around 15 years now, even for my Daughter’s Sangeet Party, we served Scotch to everyone, but I stuck to Beer.Better a few visits more to the loo, that to be drunk on my daughters function and create an embarrassment, being the father of the bride.


A lot of my friends made money in the Stock market, and lost a lot of it tone guy had to sell of his house, and today lives in a rented house, hounded by creditors.


From him I have learnt to be happy with my small returns from Bank and Post office Fd’s, paying my taxes, and being content with what I am left with.I would rather have little, than to have a lot, and then nothing at some point.


I feel sad see so much Greed and Ego in this world, with friends around u when u have the dough, and no one when u are down and out.


That is why I have a close circle of friends who have stood by me thru thick and thin,and don’t strive much to make new ones, barring the lovely bloggers, who have become great friends of mine, we seek nothing monetary from each other, all in different professions, we are friends bcs of our love for writing.I guess I am fortunate to have been loved and respected by them.


So mostly I have learnt what not to do , than learnt what to do.Life is a great teacher, and I sure had some good examples of what NOT to follow.!


KAMAL MAHTANI

 

Dear Navalji,

I know many Baniyas in Mumbai, and they have prospered really.Tehy live very modestly in Mumbai, but buy a lot of land and houses in their home towns.


I am very pally with most of them, and they help their relatives by bringing them to this city, and the whole family thrives.


Yes that is such a wise advise, ask a person who has made money and also one who has lost money, and one can learn so much about how to avoid costly mistakes.


I feel saving yr hard earned money is more diffuclt that making money.this is my view.Thanks for the great words of advise Navalji.

And yes Mahatma Gandhi and Ambani, two greats, but both with different personalities and money power.

Regards.kamal

 

Dear Shanti,

True we must learn not to stretch ourselves too thin.

But I don’t see too many guys to learn good things from.Maybe I have met the wrong people in my life, but what no to do has taught me what to do.What a strange logic.HAHA.

Thanks and Regards.kamal

 

Dear Spandhana,

Welcome to my blog after a long long time.Thank u for yr visit.

I loved this of yuours

THE POOR LACK MUCH,BUT THE GREEDY MORE AND EGO IS THE FIRST ENEMY OF OURSELVES THAT MANY HAS TO REALIZE AND PROBABLY ONE MIGHT(SOME WHO POSSESS EGO)ONLY REALISE WHEN THEY GET IN TROUBLE AS TROUBLE BRINGS EXPERIENCE AND EXPERIECE BRINGS WISDOM.


So true really.Thanks and Regards.kamal