We are not strangers to white lies, are we?

We are not strangers to white lies, are we?

Okay...let me put it in black and white.

All of us, at times, might have willy-nilly uttered white lies. White lies, as far as I am concerned, are plausible reasons or excuses to overcome or manage a situation with finesse or diplomacy- not hurting anybody , causing any financial harm or damaging one’s reputation.

Very often, we get marketing calls over phone, which we disregard (if it is displayed in caller ID ) , but sometimes we end up answering those calls. To escape from that conversation, I say…sorry, I am just stepping out, in the middle of something or not the owner of the house etc…Better still, when they need to speak to my hubby, I end up saying that he is not available (though he is very much at home).

My children observed this and questioned us as to why we were lying ! In our defense, we immediately clarified/explained to them that these were white lies which were totally harmless !

We’ve been brought up with the belief that saying lies is not acceptable. We preach the same to our children too. But here, do we practice what we preach?

These sets of lies which we refer to as “white lies” are also uttered in the most strange/bizarre/sticky situations.

Few more examples:

When we don’t want to attend a function/party, we may say that we have other engagements, not feeling good, sudden guests etc.

Some employees may take off giving plausible reasons like ill health , parents’ meeting at children’s school.

We may convince our children (when they are small) that all shops are closed when they ask for toys often.

Some may lie that they are just a block away or just around the corner , caught in traffic etc, when actually they may have started late from their place.

Do share any instances when these white lies cannot be avoided . Have any of your children confronted you at that time?

You know what, please don't tell me white lies that you've never "white lied" (in a lighter vein).

Krithika,

White lies is a nice name given to telling lies when not avoidable isn't it.
I accept and do not want to justify saying white lies.

Sometimes I do get caught in my own web.Some of them I have mentioned in my blog here. check it out.Mastery over telling lies - IndusLadies

Me too waiting to see how many are really strangers..is it possible not to even say a white lie.

Dear Jithiks,
Nice one , white lies or 'pulugu' is to save ourselves without letting what we say affect others, 'Poi' is meant and aimed at hurting others.If it is unavoidable and that is when I resort to the 'white lie'. Many are pushed into uttering it when they have to save themselves form someone or a tricky situation. The most funny one is when my DD was younger and wanted to go to the beach a little late in the day I told her the gates would be locked after 7 p.m.

Shanthi,

Nice to know that you are not a stranger to white lies...join the bandwagon ! :)

Thanks for giving the link to your blog..will read it asap.

Yes, waiting to know how many are strangers to it...

Originally Posted by shanvy

Krithika,

White lies is a nice name given to telling lies when not avoidable isn't it.
I accept and do not want to justify saying white lies.

Sometimes I do get caught in my own web.Some of them I have mentioned in my blog here. check it out.Mastery over telling lies - IndusLadies

Me too waiting to see how many are really strangers..is it possible not to even say a white lie.

White lies....Hmmm...The only reason for an argument between me and my dad. The quality he dislikes and wishes others too to be out of it. Now-a-days it has become a common attitude.

As you said we would have avoided many functions or some one's invitation with some white lies. The sad part is the opposite party too well knows we are finding a reason to avoid still both of us remain as if everything is true and everything is accepted peacefully. Might be the opposite party too would have been one such victim to some third person.

And when it comes to kids we really face a trouble. Once i took my hubby's niece called "Sowbi" to my neighbours house. They have a kid so thought of taking this one to play with him. He was eating some lolly pop and tried to share it with sowbi. Her parents were very strict in avoiding food from outsiders and moreover I felt that it wouldn't be hygienic to share that lolly pop between them so i said to him "kanna sowbi doesn't likes lollypop at all so you eat yourself". After sometime we came back home and as soon as we entered home she complained to her mom "Amma chithi enaku lolly pop pidikaadhunu poi sollitaanga ma,poi sonna bad girl dhaana"...meaning "I lied to that boy that she dislikes lollypop inspite it being her favourite, isn't she a bad girl telling lies"... wasn't able to convince her easily. And finally we told her the fact why i avoided it, hearing that she ran to him and yelled "hey dont share your lolly pops with anyone otherwise they may get fever"

That was the most embarassing moment still i remember how i managed to stay cool in front of that boy and his parents.

Dear Janani,

Absolutely agree with you on all counts and thanks for the explanation and differentiation between 'Poi' and 'Pulugu' in Tamil.

I was literally in splits when I read your white lie about gate closing of the beach....still I am laughing when I am writing these lines...

Sure, it is a very funny white lie....

Cheers
Krithika

Originally Posted by Jananikrithsan

Dear Jithiks,
Nice one , white lies or 'pulugu' is to save ourselves without letting what we say affect others, 'Poi' is meant and aimed at hurting others.If it is unavoidable and that is when I resort to the 'white lie'. Many are pushed into uttering it when they have to save themselves form someone or a tricky situation. The most funny one is when my DD was younger and wanted to go to the beach a little late in the day I told her the gates would be locked after 7 p.m.

Recenty we met a NI family. They have a cute boy who is around 3-4 yrs. Obviously like any other boy of his age he has his own naughtiness. At times when he goes beyond his limits his parents tell him that he will be returned to the shop from where they bought him. And you whatz that shop "The Children's Place"...as he understands english he thinks the name of the shop sounds like what his parents mean and he obeys to them. Thatz the only weapon for them.

Hi Cindhuja,

You've given excellent supplementary additions to my post. Thanks !

Sure, I can only imagine how embarassing it would have been for you when Sowbi called you a bad girl !!

Children are like sponges and they follow and understand whatever we tell them literally and implicitly ! Sometimes it does backfire on us just like the incident with lollipop !

Atleast, she understood at the end...that is one redeeming feature !

Thanks for sharing this Cindhu...

Cheers
Krithika

Originally Posted by Cindhuja

White lies....Hmmm...The only reason for an argument between me and my dad. The quality he dislikes and wishes others too to be out of it. Now-a-days it has become a common attitude.

As you said we would have avoided many functions or some one's invitation with some white lies. The sad part is the opposite party too well knows we are finding a reason to avoid still both of us remain as if everything is true and everything is accepted peacefully. Might be the opposite party too would have been one such victim to some third person.

And when it comes to kids we really face a trouble. Once i took my hubby's niece called "Sowbi" to my neighbours house. They have a kid so thought of taking this one to play with him. He was eating some lolly pop and tried to share it with sowbi. Her parents were very strict in avoiding food from outsiders and moreover I felt that it wouldn't be hygienic to share that lolly pop between them so i said to him "kanna sowbi doesn't likes lollypop at all so you eat yourself". After sometime we came back home and as soon as we entered home she complained to her mom "Amma chithi enaku lolly pop pidikaadhunu poi sollitaanga ma,poi sonna bad girl dhaana"...meaning "I lied to that boy that she dislikes lollypop inspite it being her favourite, isn't she a bad girl telling lies"... wasn't able to convince her easily. And finally we told her the fact why i avoided it, hearing that she ran to him and yelled "hey dont share your lolly pops with anyone otherwise they may get fever"

That was the most embarassing moment still i remember how i managed to stay cool in front of that boy and his parents.

Dear Krithika,

You have written very well ( and this aint a white lie)

Ok now on and off we have white lied , e.g when in college you need to go out and the umpteen excuses you cook up to convince parents.

Then there is the time when we white lie when we do not wish to go to some place invited then a white lie comes to the rescue .

The net connect may be fully functional but if youve been desperately avoiding someone then your server is down .

Krithika , nice topic.

Love,
Devika

Krithika,
I am not a stranger, either to this white lie--business.
It is born with me..
It has been tried in various fields, from consoling the children and to escape the wrath of the elders.. and where not..
The first white lie which my daughter got it right was when I utter the word 'parkalaam', (which means no)

sriniketan