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Sunday Fiasco

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Devika Menon, Jul 31, 2008.

  1. Devika Menon

    Devika Menon Gold IL'ite

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    SUNDAY FIASCO!!

    A pleasant Sunday morning, in a state of complete lethargy, the bean bag cushioning me in its bosom, I got up to answer the door bell. I opened the door and faced a shock as I saw <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:eek:ffice:smarttags" /><st1:place>Tara</st1:place>’s smiling face. Tara the friend who knew how to spoil a perfect day.

    She came in even before I could invite her. I stood at the door way trying to recover from the shock, when she said seated comfortably on the couch, “Something cold would do”. ‘Do??’ I wondered but whoever asked you?? Just then my daughter came out to see who’s come and generally a kid who loves to receive guests, took a U turn back to her room on seeing <st1:place>Tara</st1:place>. “ Neiv”, <st1:place>Tara</st1:place> shrieked so loud that Neiv almost shivered , “So nice to see you. I came specially to meet you.” After recovering Neiv managed a smile and said, “Aunty will join you soon after I finish my homework.” Smart daughter I thought to myself .She knew at this tender age what to avoid in life. Phew. I looked at <st1:place>Tara</st1:place> and tried to smile, a herculean effort it seemed. Smile was evading me and I was close to tears because I knew my Sunday was gone now for toss. “Why my dear friend, what harm had I done to deserve this?” I silently cried.

    <st1:place>Tara</st1:place> began her usual groundless talk about others with fervor. She left no one from this planet almost everyone she knew and if only she had met a couple of aliens she would have left nobody from space either And there was no way one could stop her because firstly she never paused to listen and secondly even if you did try to stop after a very short break it would start again. Lunch time she asked me, “So Devs what are you gonna cook?” . Knowing she is a strict veggie I immediately said “Chicken. Neiv wants chicken.” I silently patted my back. Good Devika that was a smart move. This lady will walk out just now as she is a pure veggie.

    ‘Hmmmmmmmmmmmm” she said smacking her lips. “Did I tell you? I have begun eating non veg. Nowadays wherever I go people cook non veg, so I thought I might as well begin to have it and now I love it”. I wanted to kick myself real hard. Oh God .I got up from the wrong side of the bed today. I tried so many excuses to push her off but no she wouldn’t budge. Mentally I made a note to send my horoscope to Mom the next day so as to be cautioned about the exact time when this calamity would strike next! This would be a real challenge to Mom too, since she has been asking me to trust predictions. If she helps me to evade this in future, I swore to have a different view on predictions and a good one at that!!

    My dog (Muffin) who is ever so friendly, seemed to be the only one who was excited on seeing her as she kept wagging her tail all the while as <st1:place>Tara</st1:place> spoke. I wondered if silently Muffin played a game to see which wagged faster, her tail or <st1:place>Tara</st1:place>’s tongue. Frankly Muffin was her only observer .I merely existed in the room...

    My hubby who had been to the club came back to see Tara slumped on the couch and gave me an accusing look as though I had just sentenced him to capital punishment . He silently said, “Hey it’s Sunday. What’s this you got here?” I looked at Tara who was gaping at my husband and then she said, “Come sit”. She was so comfortable that it looked more like we were visiting her at HER place. Then she began in her usual irksome style. “I wanted to visit you guys from so long, but every time I called Devs said you are not at home. Just thought I shall pay a surprise visit today” I wondered why she hadn’t thought of Graham Bells invention today. My horoscope must have predicted something really bad on this day! <st1:place>Tara</st1:place> went on, “Hey don’t mind eh, that I did not get anything for you. Actually I wanted to I’m not used to going anywhere without carrying anything .I thought what could I possible buy for you. Well you guys have everything. Then I thought about some sweets but realized that you are too figure conscious and I didn’t want to spoil that. I care about the health of my friends a lot. You know that don’t you? Then I thought about some garments, and realized that while Neiv must have grown vertically and you both horizontally, I better not take that risk, Go back and exchange is a headache you see. Finally I thought just seeing me is in itself a gift for you. Where do we find friends like this these days who take time to visit”? I thought its high time <st1:place>Tara</st1:place> changed her dialogue. She had been mouthing the same thing so for many years that now when she starts we can all lip sync with her. If only <st1:place>Tara</st1:place> knew how all the so called friends were petrified of her visit! Her gossip sessions amused neither hubby nor me and Neiv studied a little harder that day. Studies on Sunday seemed more welcoming than a trip to everyone’s house via Tara Aunty.

    Infact at the end of the day I ended up popping a pill for my headache to which she commented that these things shouldn’t be neglected and must show a doctor so that the cause is treated. The cause stood right there in front of me. I wished to tell her stop her visits and my headaches would say a permanent good bye to me.

    Any way just before leaving and that too after hubby said that we have a hectic day tomorrow (and no rest today thanks to you) , we shall retire early, she said , “Hey I’m planning to visit Anu tomorrow..” I silently prayed for Anu . I love Anu too much and will not subject her to this torture named <st1:place>Tara</st1:place> and so as soon as I closed the door, I called Anu . “Tara is planning to visit you tomorrow, Run as fast and as far as you can. God help you!!”

    Love,
    Devika
     
    Last edited: Jul 31, 2008
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  2. Jananikrithsan

    Jananikrithsan Gold IL'ite

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    Dear Devika,
    You were missing in action for a while and boy !!! was that hilarious.
    Whether that was imaginary or real it was so well worded. Neiv was smart , Ican imagine her shock though if that is someone you wanna avoid. You must have had a shock when she said that she had started eating non veg. Why is that when they visit empty handed , do they have to cook up stories?????

    Well OLoved ur post, buddy!!!!
     
  3. Cindhuja

    Cindhuja Gold IL'ite

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    Beautifully narrated..njoyed every single line....especially

    I wondered if silently Muffin played a game to see which wagged faster, her tail or <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:eek:ffice:smarttags" /><st1:place>Tara</st1:place>’s tongue.

    Keep posting....
     
  4. pavithrasriram

    pavithrasriram Bronze IL'ite

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    hi devika,
    very nice post!!!!!
    another feather on your cap-humour!!!!!:)
    you have narrated it very well great words used,was just hilarious!!!!!!
    the way you have narrated about tara reminds me of a fat lady ready for gossip all time!!!!!!!!!:-D
    keep them coming
    luv
    pavi
     
  5. Anandchitra

    Anandchitra IL Hall of Fame

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    Devika
    You have managed to excel yourself.. Humour is excellent.. I almost started to run reading the last line.. and I have been sitting by myself and laughing.. very good one!
     
  6. Sriniketan

    Sriniketan IL Hall of Fame

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    Devika,
    So, your Sunday went off like this...it is very nice of you to call Anu and caution her...(lucky that she mentioned her next visit to Anu)

    wagging the tail or the tongue..which is faster...nice topic for discussion...

    sriniketan
     
  7. Bhiku Mhatre

    Bhiku Mhatre Senior IL'ite

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    Devika : This is one hilarious write up, is it true of fiction? Either way enjoyed this one very much.

     
  8. meera2503

    meera2503 Senior IL'ite

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    Dear Devika,

    That was a hilarious . Enjoyed it,especially your kids reaction was cute.

    meera
     
  9. ojaantrik

    ojaantrik IL Hall of Fame

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    Witsend

    Yes, I know what you mean. You remind me of a friend in graduate school who would visit me every evening to keep me company as I watched the TV. Which means, he would arrive and turn it on. Those were days when the TV stations did not go beyond mid-night. So, around the time the last programme was being televised, I would make meaningful gestures, such as preparing the bed and so on. But he would come out with statements like: Wait, it's not over yet. They always play the national anthem at the end. No wonder I know the American national anthem by heart!!

    Good post.
     
  10. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Devika,


    A superb humourous one from you.Couldnt stop laughing u know.I did not know u had a funny bone in u.HAHA.


    Make her meet me, I am curious to meet this female who can give Devika a headache.HAHA.

    The excuses were too good for not bringing a gift.I can borrow a few, as I am known as a miser.

    Loved it.Regards.kamal
     

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