Divorces

Divorces​

Yesterday’s Hindustan Times 30<SUP>th</SUP> July 08, had a rather very interesting Article.The heading read

10 DIVORCES CASES PER DAY IN THE CAPITAL


And a photograph accompanied the article, of Sheela Dixit, with Shabana Azmi, during the inauguration of a pre-martial counseling cell at Delhi Secretariat.


What surprised me was the choice of Shabana Azmi for the counseling.Let me recall what I remember about Shabhana.She is the second wife of Javed Akhtar.Before her marriage, her list of Boyfriends is long. I can recall half a dozen on hand,Here goes,

Uday, Shekhar Kapoor,Benjamin Gillani, Shashi Kapoor (during the making of her first commercial movie Fakira, which almost broke Shashi’s marriage), Vinod Khanna (during the shooting of Shaque), and a few more of whom I don’t recall now.


Now there is nothing wrong in having a long list of Boyriends, one must have the art of attracting them, or looks.As they say, if u have them, flaunt them.Look at Rekha,( Shotgun, Amitabh,) marriages to Mukesh Aggarwal of Hotflame (committed suicide within a few months of marriage), and Vinod Mehra, Look at other stars, so it is the trend really , for these filmstars, not a problem their life it is.


But can Shabhana be called to a marriage counseling session for the married couples.How can she justify her second marriage, and a string of boyfriends to the couples who are in trouble.Sheela Dixit should have emailed me to ask about Shabhana, and I would have given her the details.Bad Choice really.


Now coming to the marriages, and why they fail.At the counseling they found out that a few causes are the mothers of the bride, who tell the bride to tell her husband to separate from his mother , and live separately.


Another reason given was the lack of tolerance among the partners.And there can be so many other reasons, like flirting at the office, bcs of the close proximity with collegues of the opposite sex, could be one could meet bloggers of the opposite sex while blogging, and u know what, a lot of things can happen these days.So reasons are many.


What I want to know is , why is there a need to get married for both the boy and the Girl Did not somebody say “ Getting married for Sex, is like buying an Aeroplane to get the freebees like a Car” or something to that effect.


I am an old fashioned Guy, I married the girl shown to me by my parents, same with Harsha, and we have stuck together for close to 30 years.We do have our differences of Food, religion, and other matter of which I have written so many times, so no use going into them.But we let each other be, without turning each other into copies of each other, by changing one another into a clone.We give each other space to do our own things, and in the happiness of Harsha lies my happiness, even if I don’t exactly agree with her views.We are both mature enough to let each other flower.


I cannot understand why today’s marriages fail.Before marriage the girl knows, she has to change her 3 names after marriage, that she has to shift with her husband, share the income with his, buy property together, pay EMI’s together,have sex and raise children.


Both know that the other will love his or her own parents more than the inlaws,as also brothers and sisters more than brother in law and sister in law.That u will see the natural and ugly physical side of the partner when u get up first thing in the morning, that both have to take care of the house,and the kids together.


Then where does the problems come ? What is intolerance ? that he or she talks more to the mother than the mother in law ? That the husband likes to goof about with his male friends sometimes, rather than sit with his wife ?God knows there could be so many more reasons too.


And don’t they say, there can be only one Captain to a Ship ?If neither is willing to let the other be captain, then it is the case of Too many cooks spoil the Broth ! The question then boils down to , is why do u want to marry at all in the first place.What is there in a marriage, that u cant get otherwise ?


You can adopt a kid, like Sushmita Sen did, or have one without marrying like Neena Gupta did from Vivial Richards.Sex is not a problem outside marriage.and with Girls earning well these days, she can pay her EMI from her own Earnings, without having to depends on her husband;s share.


Husbands too must learn that today’s woman is not the doormat of the previous times.Today she is educated and Savvy, she earns well , at times more than the hubby, and she is as able as him.Why not give and take, rather than take stands, or let ego’s come in .Take her as your equal , give her due respect, and respect her decisions in financial matters too.After all marriage is like a cycle, where both wheels are needed to run it smoothly.If one tyre is punctured u cant move the bicycle.


But what I cant understand is having Shabhana Azmi giving lectures to couples in trouble.Sheila Dixit must be getting senile.


KAMAL MAHTANI

 

Dear Janani,


Yes it takes a lot of effort to make a marriage work.These days everyone is independent minded as both are working, and none wants to bend a bit.So we see so many unhappy marriages.

My point is why marry at all ? Regards.kamal

 

Dear Mr.Balajee,

Well u have a point there.HAHA.Regards.kamal