Seshan, my husband’s best friend celebrated his only daughter’s wedding and how?

Seshan, my husband’s best friend celebrated his only daughter’s wedding and how?

Mr.Seshan has remained my husband’s best friend for the past forty years or a little more than that.Seshan has stayed put at Tanjore whereas we had been moving from place to place and have finally settled down at Chennai. But that has not affected their friendship in any manner.Not only that, Seshan and my husband are just the opposites of each other in every possible manner.Seshan is a landlordwhile my husband is a professional having worked in different capacities.Seshan was the only son to his parents, my husband has nine siblings.Seshan never made much of his formal education where as my husband is a professionally qualified person.More than any of these, my friends, there is one aspect of Seshan which is just the opposite of my husband.Seshan would not,could not spend a single paisa unnecessarily,why even necessarily for that matter.You can call him a modern day midas.My husband is a compulsive spender .

Inspite of all these glaring differences in their characteristics, there was something that bound them together,both of them are good human beings.You can ask me,”How can a modern day midas be a good human being?”My dear friends,Seshan is a miser in spending money,but he and his wife are admirable hosts.You can never go to his house and return without having a meal.If you are a stranger in Tanjore and need a place to stay, he will offer to keep you with them,as long as you want and you will be treated like a family member ie you will have to run minor errands like going to the shop or fixing a bulb,but the hospitality and the kindness extended will remain the same from the first day of your stay with them, till you say,”good bye”to them and this goodwill is sure to continue for a lifetime.That is the reason Seshans have a wide circle of friends who have been very close to them for many, many years
Seshan is a hardworking man.He has tremendous sense of dignity of labour and he expects others close to him to be the same.He has no pretensions at all,inspite of being a wealthy landlord,he has remained the same simple Seshan, that is also the reason for people liking him immediately, on meeting him.
If there is a wedding in any of their relatives’or family friends’ houses, ,Seshan will be there with his family and all of them will be of some service to the friends. Seshan could be seen serving food, supervising the kitchen or receiving the guests..

I have to tell you about certain incidents that was narrated to me by my husband involving Seshan before I proceed further.Once Seshan,my husband and two of their friends went to Kodaikanal on a holiday.They reached Kodaikanal in the night.Immediately on reaching Kodaikanal,my husband wanted to take rooms in a good hotel for them to stay.But Seshan would not hear of it.”What? rooms in a hotel? Unnecessary expense.”exploaded Seshan.”In the daytime, we will be seeing the different places and we require the rooms only to sleep,no?Why take rooms?A friend of mine has got a bungalow here,so many times he has asked me to come and stay with him,let us go to his place”Unfortunately he did not have his friend’s phone number and he did not know the exact address of the bungalow also.But that did not deter Seshan.He told his friends,”Let us proceed,my friend is a well known person here.Somehow, I will find out his bungalow”.It proved a task.After lot of enquiries,many looked at this bunch of young men suspiciously I believe,they reached Seshan’s friend’s house.The watchman said,”Sir,our Ayya has gone to Madras,Sir.I don’t have the house keys”.
My husband and the other two men who were very tired after walking a long distance,Seshan would not hear of engaging a taxi,besides they did not have the correct address also.,wanted to go to a hotel,now atleast.
Setshan turned to them,hushed them up and asked the watchman,”But your Ayya said that he is constructing another house,no?Where is this house?”The watchman said,”Yes,Sir.Ayya is constructing another house.It is about four kms from here”and proceeded to give the directions to that house which involved turning left and right a dozen times.Besides,he said,”Sir,take a right turn here “and showed left with his fingers.
My husband turned to Seshan,”Sechu(that’s how friends called him),we can’t be carrying our suitcases and walking that much distance.Let us go to the main road and call a taxi.”Seshan gave him one dirty look,”What?You are all men and you can’t carry a couple of suitcases and walk,give your suitcase to me,I will carry it”Much to the irritation of my husband and others Seshan took a couple of suitcases from them, hoisted them on his shoulders and walked like a soldier.
After lot of rights and lefts, Seshan and troop found out the other house that Seshan’s friend was constructing.
Seshan told that watchman,”We are your Ayya’s friends.We are going to spend the night in this house,open a room for us”
Now the watchman was stupefied.He said,”Sir,the rooms are not ready yet,Sir.Only the hall is ready.If you want,you people can sleep in the hall”
Seshan asked him whether he had any beddings and received the answer in the negative.By the time my husband and his friends were ready to lay down on the floor,they were so tired.But not our Seshan.He asked the watchman,”What can you give us for spreading on the floor?Have you any bedsheets?”The watchman who felt very sorry for his guests said,”Sir,I do not have bedsheets.But there are empt sacks,sir which have been lying there.If you don’t mind,you can spread the sacks on the floor and sleep on them.
He brought the sacks and some old news papers.Seshan and his friends spread the newspapers on the floor,spread the sacks on the newspapers and the moment their heads touched the sacks, they were asleep.
In the morning,one of the friends got up and went to the bathroom and in a few moments the others heard a scream.They thought a snake or something had bitten him,they rushed to the bathroom and when they looked at the friend they also screamed, not only that, they looked at each other and screamed and the watchman who came running to their room, looked at them and covered his mouth with his hands and laughed.The reason being,the sacks on which these people slept in the night were cement sacks,Seshan and his friends spread the sacks and slept on them not knowing this.The cement remaining in the sacks had covered them from head to foot and they looked like beings from the other world.
The watchman was kind enough to bring them hotwater ,they had a wash and left the place,my husband swearing to himself that he would never venture to go to any place with Seshan,but this vow has been broken a million times,Seshan and my husband being the best of friends.

Once we went to Tanjore with our kids to spend sometime with the Seshans.Seshan’s youngest son came running to the house one day.He asked his father,”Appa,give me eight annas.I want to take a hire cycle”
Hire cycles were lent on an hourly basis those days and those who were learning to cycle,preferred to take hour cycle.
Seshan took one look at his son and asked him,”Why do you require eight anas for that?Four anas will do”
His son said,”Appa for others he charges eight annas per half an hour but when he came to know who I am, he agreed to take eight annas from me for one hour.”
Seshan reluctantly parted with eight anas.Soon his son came cycling,he called out to his father,”Appa,see,I have started cycling!”
Seshan shouted in return,”You fool,every second you are spending paisa,you know,go cycle for one hour And then come and talk to me.”I and my husband could not contain our laughter.This incident ,whenever I remember it,never fails to bring a smile on my face even today.

Seshans have three sons and a daughter.His daughter completed her graduation, when Seshan rang up my husband and asked him to look for a suitable bridegroom for his daughter.Seshan’s daughter was, and even today is, a very sweet girl and she is like our daughter.My husband started looking out for a suitable boy in all earnestness and finally he was lucky to come across a good alliance.Seshan made it clear to my husband that at every stage in the marriage,my husband should be present and my husband agreed .The boy and his parents went to see the girl at Tanjore,my husband also went to Tanjore.Everything went off very smoothly,the boy and the girl liked each other and so also the parents of the boy and the girl.

The next step was where to conduct the wedding.The boy’s father was very keen that the marriage had to be celebrated at <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-comffice:smarttags" /><st1:City w:st="on"><st1lace w:st="on">Madras</st1lace></st1:City> only.He cited so many reasons,one being that his mother who was more than ninety would not be able to travel to Tanjore and she was very particular about attending her grandson’s wedding.
Seshan was predictably,disturbed.”No,why should I celebrate my only daughter’s marriage in an unknown place?”Suddenly,<st1:City w:st="on">Madras</st1:City> became an unknown territi\ory for him whereas he used to visit <st1:City w:st="on"><st1lace w:st="on">Madras</st1lace></st1:City> twice a month atleast.
“Drop his alliance.Let us look for some other boy”said Seshan.My husband was livid with fury.He shouted at his friend,”You will not get another alliance as good as this one.The family is a good one,they like your daughter and the boy is very well qualified.We will go ahead with the marriage.We will have it at Madras and I will take care of everything”said my husband.Seshan relented after much arguements.
When this marriage was finalized we were at Delhi.My husband deputed his brothers to book a good mandapam for the marriage and he flew to <st1:City w:st="on"><st1lace w:st="on">Madras</st1lace></st1:City> to finalise the caterer who will take care of the rest of the arrangements .
Seshan and his family consisting of his three sons,his daughter-the bride to be and his wife landed in Madras just a few days before the marriage to stay with one of my brother’s in law,whose flat was on the third floor,no lift please!My two brothers in law went to receive them at the station.Seshan and his family took quite sometime to get down from their compartment with their luggage that consisted of some twenty suitcases,ten big card board boxes nicely packed,dozens of big shoppers bags and countless number of shoulder bags,that’s all.When my brother in law called a couple of porters they took one look at the luggage and said that they wanted nothing less than five hundred rupees to carry the luggage to the exit.
Seshan almost got a heart attack,”Five hundred rupees,do you think you can cheat me,Iam also from <st1:City w:st="on"><st1lace w:st="on">Madras</st1lace></st1:City> only, Do you know?”Seshan tried to impress the porters.But one of them said,”Sir you may be from the moon for all that matters.We will not touch these huge amount of luggage for less than five hundred rupees.”
My brother in law said,”Its alright,uncle,let us pay them and move on”and earned a glare from Seshan.
Seshan turned, counted how many men his family and my brothers in law counted up to and said,”We are six men.Can’t we carry these bags?”He told his wife and daughter to stand there keeping a watch on the luggage while he,his sons and my brothers in law carried the luggage to the taxi stand and came back to carry the rest.One brother in law of mine,stayed near the taxi.Passersby and the porters assembled there, looked at this sight with amusement and some of them with pity.Finally they reached home.

In South Indian marriages we give Thambhoolam bag to the persons who attend the wedding.Giving Thambhoolam bag and receiving the bag are considered a must.
This thambhoolam bag consists of paan leaves,betel nut,a sweet packet,a coconut or a fruit,mostly a mosumbi.These are mandatory ,other than these items, you may keep whatever you want in the bag.When my husband told Seshan over the phone to buy the things required for thambhoolam bag in Madras only and not to carry them from Tanjore,Seshan would not hear of that.”Pan leaves,in <st1lace w:st="on"><st1:City w:st="on">Madras</st1:City></st1lace>!”he chuckled.Further he said,”Mosumbis are very cheap here so Iam getting everything from Tanjore only,We will keep the mosumbis in the fridge and take them out just before putting them in the thambhoolam bag”he announced in a grandiose manner.After reaching Madras,the next day Seshan said that the pan leaves and fruit would arrive in the bus stand and the shop from where he bought the fruit had agreed to bring the packet home in a mini van.He charged some eighty rupees for that.So,the next day Seshan and my poor brother in law, who was unaware of what was in store for him that day,went to the bus stand.The bus arrived at around ten o’clock.Seshan identified his packet. The person who brought it from Tanjore told Seshan,”Sir,Please wait,I will come with the van”and he disappeared.Some three hours passed and the fellow did not turn up.It was very hot and the packet consisting of the mosumbis and pan leaves was lying in the hot sun.My brother in law gathered all his courage and told Seshan,”Uncle,it is very hot,let iust take an auto and carry the bag ourselves,how long can we wait for that man?”Seshan shouted,”It will be hot only.We are not in Switzerland,you know,we are in Madras.Being Madras man you are talking about it being hot.Besides I have already paid 86 rupees for the van.Why waste money?Let us wait" He was in his element talking to the people standing nearby waiting for buses and was exchanging ideas on politics and how the country was ruined by the avaricious politicians.Meanwhile my brother in law, who had been waiting with Seshan ,had to attend to nature’s call and there was not a bathroom to be seen nearby.Seshan went to the roadside ,relieved himself and told my BIL to follow his example but my BIL was averse to that idea, he being a different kettle of fish,.you see.My bil was almost in tears ,he could have gone to a hotel nearby and used the facilities,but there were only teashops and no hotels nearby.
Finally the mini van arrived.Seshan sat at the back keeping the bag with him,my brother in law who had to share the front seat adjucant to the driver, with a friend of the driver sat on that person’s lap.
Seshan and my brother in law came to the third floor carrying the bag,and my brother in law’s wife,who was very anxious about her husband coming home so late, asked him,”Why are you so late?”My brother in law, who was in agony and had to rush to the bahroom laughed his famous laughter,whenever he is angry he laughs in that typical manner which reminds one of P.S.Veerappa, the master villain of the sixties Tamil movies,he shouted at her,”Am I late,ha ha ha,yes, Iam late”and disappeared into the bathroom.Poor his wife.Even today she thinks several times before she asks any one the innocent question,”Why are you late?”
Seshan ,oblivious to all the commotion he had created, sat on the floor and opened the bag containing the mosumbis and the pan leaves.Among the three hundred mosumbis that were packed, more than two hundred fruit had already become juice, though not fit for consumption,due to the heat and more than half the pan leaves had been spoilt.Seshan’s face was a study.My other brother in law’s wife,not knowing the seriousness of the situation, ventured to tell Seshan,”Uncle, the mosumbis have already become juice,ha ha ha”and earned a mouthful from him.
Seshan was silent for the next few days and made alternate arrangements for buying fruit locally.
There were exactly a couple of days for the marriage to take place.We arrived from <st1lace w:st="on"><st1:City w:st="on">Delhi</st1:City></st1lace>,my husband having taken a week’s leave from office.
Seshan’s daughter,the lovely Seetha,who was the bride to be came to her father with her friends in tow.Six of her very close friends had come all the way from Tanjore to attend her wedding..”Appa,please,give me three hundred rupees”she asked.
“Three hundred rupees!”Seshan exclaimed!.His favourite daughter always took money from him ,but not more than ten rupees maximum at a time.So, he was perplexed.
“Appa,I want to go to the beauty parlour.Give me three hundred rupees,no?”Seshan counted the money and gave it ot her.Afew hours passed.My husband and Seshan were discussing the last minute arrangements when Seetha rang up and wanted to talk to her father.”Appa”Seetha was almost in tears,”Appa please send two thousand rupees immediately,no?”We could hear her voice.
“What,two thousand rupees?Are you joking,come home fast”cried Seshan.But Seetha was almost in tears,”Appa,I went inside to have facial.At that time the beauty parlour owner had told my friends,”You are the bride’s maids.When your friend looks beautiful,don’t you think you should also look beautiful?”and she took them inside and gave each one a facial and manicure etc Appa,the bill has come to two thousand rupees Appa.The lady says that we have to arrange for the money and then only we can leave Appa”.
Seshan was besides himself with anger.He could not talk for sometime.Finally,he sent the money through his son to the parlour.

It was the day before the wedding.Seshan’s wife and I prayed to all the Gods that no further mishap should happen to spoil Seshan’s mood because we knew that when he got angry he would not realize what he was saying and to whom.But even the Gods decided to have some fun dear,at our expense.
That evening,when we were keeping things ready to take with us to the mandapam,the next day morning,there was a phone call from the boy’s father.My husband took the call.After talking for a few minutes he turned to Seshan and said,”Sechu,the boy’s father wants icecream to be served with the dessert for reception dinner.”
The way Seshan jumped on hearing that,I thought he ought to have participated in the Olympics high jump, my dear.He was frothing.”Stop the marriage.What does that man think of himself.First he wanted the marriage at Madras,I was put to so much inconvenience,now he wants icecream for dinner.Tomorrow he may want something else,nothing doing,I will not cater to his demands.We will serve them sweet for dessert that’s all”Seshan put a full stop .
It took all of my husband’s marketing strategy and convincing the people about his side of the arguement,for which he was very famous in his organization,to convince Seshan that that we would serve icecream and that’s all.No more catering to their demands.We sat down and calculated.In all we expected 500 guests for the dinner.Among these 300 were from the bridegroom’s side.
Seshan said,”We will serve icecreams only to the bridegroom’s side people.How much will that cost us?”he asked my husband.”More or less thousand rupees”said my husband,keeping a straight face.
The marriage went off very smoothly and Seetha looked glorious.
Dinner time arrived.Seshan stood near the refrigerator in which the icecreams were kept keeping an eagle’s eye lest somebody or other had other ideas.
People arrived in the dining hall and started eating,we knew that according to our family custom the bridegroom,his side people would be the last ones to sit for dinnerafter completing some religious formalities.
The last batch of invitees had left after having their dinner.It was time for the ridegroom’s side people to come with the new addition to their family ie Seetha.They did.We counted.Only twenty persons including the bride and groom were sitting for dinner.Seshan asked the boy’s father,”Whre are the others?Only twenty of you are sitting for dinner?"

He replied,”oh,many of my relatives and friends are local people ,no?So they had early dinner with others and left for home”
Seshan and my husband stood transfixed for a minute.The dinner went off smoothly.Seshan offering two cups of icecreams to each.
Now what shall we do with the icecreams left behind?”Seshan was almost in tears.
“Sir,one person seems to know what to do with the icecream”said the manager of the kalyana mandaoam.He took us to the kitchen There,adjoining the kitchen was a small hall,where the cooks used to cut vegetables.My younger daughter had made the head cook,his assistants and the other people who did the cleaning work in the mandapam,sit there in a row and was serving them two cups of icecreams each.On seeing us she was a little bewildered,but gathered her courage and said to Seshan,”Uncle,these people never get to eat such nice things,no.Thats why your sons,I and my sister decided to forego our share of the icecream and give it to them,uncle”her eyes pleaded and for the first time since his arrival in Madras for his daughter’s marriage,Seshan smiled.He patted my daughter and we came away,I noticed some kitten in the backside verandah, having a go at the bowls of icecreams kept in front of them,but fortunately Seshan fauled to notice this.

The marriage was over.My husband,daughters and I left for Delhi the same night.Seshan and his family also left for Tanjore the next day after formally accompanying their daughter to her in law’s home.It was left to my brother in law to handle the icecream left behind.He had to invite his friends,colleagues and neighbours in batches and have iccream parties.

Even though I have a sweet tooth and was always fond of icecreams,eversince this episode,my dear, the mention of icecream always gives me jitters, not because it is a cold stuff,my dear ,but a bowl of icecream reminds me of the tensions we had to put up with, eventhough they were for a wonderful reason.