Daughters

Hi friends,

I am new to this site and I was interested to join this site as it is a platform where women can discuss anything and everything related to them.

I have been thinking about a problem to be discussed somewhere like this where I can get a feedback from different women.My topic is about the women.

We all know that daughters are always a worry for the parents.Has anyone thought about it why it is like that or why parents kill the child if it is a girl.The answers will be because she has to be married and have to give dowry etc...

I think this is not only the reason but the main thing is daughters don't have the right to take care of their parents when they grow old.
Only son will take care of the parents and the daughters will go to other house.Why is it like that.Who made the rule that only the son, and the daughters can not take care of the parents.

Just think of parents having only daughters and no son.What is their situation once they give their daughtef for marriage.No one is there for them to take care.The daughter don't have any duty towards her parents as she now belong to another family.She has to seek her hus and family's permission to visit her parents.

The Government is implementing strict rules to avoid reveal the sex of the baby by scanning.Is this the solution for the problem.They are not thinking why girl children are killed before their birth.Why they are not going into the root cause of the problem.


Please friends share your opinions regarding this matter.

Thanks

anjux

Hi Anjux,

Warm Welcome to the world of INDUS..

I´m Interested to write a reply because I´m ONLY kid to my parents and from Past relationship I learned that (dear daughters)dd´s shouldn´t help financially or take care of thm,If So thn it is a sin and ur eligible to some punishable words..

I´m really shocked when I came across through it,Because the time has changed now.Both men and women are Raised equally from almost 2 decades and given education.Nowadays women are Marrrying after getting settling down,getting some Identity and having her own Individuality..But instead of having everyhting equals to man when marrying and after marriage in some cases Husband can help his parents in what ever issue they face but if it turns to dd´s U should just listen and show ur sympathy or some soothing words..

How come this rule is still existing being almost one fourth of Indians settled down in various parts of India and enjoying the advances in every issue but not in Parents..

I´m really against to this rules,Either it is a boy or a girl,as they both are carried ,delievered,raised,educated by mother in the same manner ..thn how everyhting changes when a girl gets married ...is this because of dowry,or it is due to the boy is carrying away with the whole property and family name....

The baby child abortions,or leaving in some big dustbin or throwing away near the river side,leaving child infront of some mandir etc..

We do not have any right to kill a life feeling that we gave birth to her...

Its really Unfortunate to know that in some remote areas this killing is still existing and ofcourse in a hi-fi societies also but in dark ..

Hope People will deal this with a thought of Humanity...

Hugs,
dg..

Welcome to the site. Good wishes for a enjoyable sojourn along with us.

The fear when a child is born is how will I marry off this girl? Financial uncertainity and emotional insecurity is the prime reason. . In many cases mothers have had bitter experiences either at in-laws place or in their own houses. Mothers having no financial backing totally depends on the husband and sometime has to totally dependent on sons. In such ases they try to lean on them.

But a lady who is very rich with enough landed property doesn't worry to the extent like others- for they know men will come asking for their daughter/s.

There are families where girls makes a pre condition that they are raedy for marriage provide they can support her parents. Working girls to some extent have no problem orovided her husband is fair in treating her, provided he is not mama's son. kanaka

Hi anjux,

Not revealing the sex of the baby is one of the solutions though it is not the ultimate one.

The people have changed their views a lot against women infanticide. Previously women are not allowed to study or go for work. This served a main reason for creating a insecurity feeling in parents mind.

But today, the world has changed a lot. Women too contribute a lot to the developing corporates and Nation. So, slowly the insecurity feeling is getting reduced in people's mind in having a female child.

The Government can take measures only on physical activities against women. That they are already doing. But the root cause is something internal (it is within a mind). For that too we have counsellings. But we cannot force our thoughts through these counsellings.

The change has to come from within.

Originally Posted by srinivasan_vanaja

Hi anjux,

Not revealing the sex of the baby is one of the solutions though it is not the ultimate one.

The people have changed their views a lot against women infanticide. Previously women are not allowed to study or go for work. This served a main reason for creating a insecurity feeling in parents mind.

But today, the world has changed a lot. Women too contribute a lot to the developing corporates and Nation. So, slowly the insecurity feeling is getting reduced in people's mind in having a female child.

The Government can take measures only on physical activities against women. That they are already doing. But the root cause is something internal (it is within a mind). For that too we have counsellings. But we cannot force our thoughts through these counsellings.

The change has to come from within.

Hi all,
I go with the words of Vanaja. It has to come from within. To make more firm, One has to be proud to be a girl. Keep up the spirit !! If the girl is confident, she can make her parents stronger.

Hi dear,

Very good thought indeed..

A thread was started by me a couple months back .

Is it a curse to have only daughters..?

Many similarites with your thread...Take a look at the various thought shared by our friends dear...

Hi Friends,

Thank you very much for the repliles.

I know that the the generation should change but how. What can we do to change this attitude.It is not only the parents but the men of this generation are also brought up in the same manner.Some men think that he or his wife don't have any duty towards her parents.It is the son's duty to take care of his parents but daughter doesn't have any right to take care of her parents.

I know many parents bring up their daughters giving them education and then get them married to a good person.They will spend all their wealth for the daughters education and for her marriage and later they will live with the small amount or wealth they have.On the other hand parents with son have to just spend for their education rest the son will do for them.What kind of rule is this.

I suggest that the government has to bring some rule to give security to the parents having only daughters or a general one that all the children have the same right towards the parents not only for their properties but also for their security.

Thanks once again for your valuble replies

Anjux

Dear Anju,

Welcome on board !

As soon as you come, you have started a topic which is close to my heart. Let me tell you the following reasons which I perceive to be the reasons for not wanting a girl child:

1. Firstly the onset of puberty, you have to keep an eagle eye on the girl child because of the ugly stares given by men and see that they do not exploit her or take undue advantage of her.
2. Education and job where we they have to work in night shifts or unearthly hour timings giving rise to unwanted affairs at the work place or dangerous liasions at work place.
3. Marriage - If the marriage cliks well and good otherwise she will become a burden on the parents always.
4. Even after marriage, due to our social customs, the bride side has to spend a lot on childbirth, the year after marriage and even during marriage which drains most of the resources of the parents of the bride.
5. Lastly the factor arises where the daughter cannot support her parents.

I feel the above problems can be tackled by giving a good education and even making the girl learn some marital arts for self defence. More than that the men's attitude towards ladies should change. Ladies are not sex symbols to be used everywhere. Media to take extra responsiblity to portraying a women properly for eg: advertisements, cinemas etc. When the girl studies and is employed she has got a mind set wherein she demands an equal share with the man. Even the husband to understand the wives have to look after their parents (though now I see men have changed and accept this)

Last but not the least, ladies should change their mental makeup to accommodate a daughter in law and not become possessive of their sons and inturn mete out cruel treatment to the dils. And also to avoid taking dowry. Education is the answer to all these social evils. Even girls should take a strong stand that Marriage is not be all and end all of all things. They should stand up to say that they will never get married to people who demand dowry.

When the future for a girl childs is safe and secure, then who will opt for female infanticide?

Infact, just this morning, I had a thought something related to this...it was..why is it that husbands dont opt to stay with Girl's parents ?
If parents for a guy, its the same for the girl..the girl would also love to be with her parents, spend time with them and still be married...however, if you voice such questions, you are termed a "Feminist", though the idea is not to be one like that...
In an era where women are educated well, travel widely to different countries, financially very sound by themselves, have investment in stocks markets, do real estate ventures, and infact even earn much higher than a man, what is so wrong if she thinks, that DH should also move along with her parents and they stay together???!!
When we still see many men stating the condition for marriage that they would like to be with thier parents and also get a sign-off from the girl on that subject before the wedding, what is wrong even if the girl thinks and wants to do the same for her parents.
Be it a women or a man, parents are dear to all and would love to spend time with them, help them when they are aged !!

Just my $0.02..

Cheers!
-Anusha