The Homecoming.....

My first thought on waking up today was…HEY … my baby is coming home…For all those who do not know me well, my "baby" is my darling daughter of 17 years who has just completed her first year at a hostel in a neighbouring city. Well, we have been seeing her at least once in 2 months but this has been the longest, a gap of three months since I saw her last.

While doing my morning chores I was happily singing " I cud have daaaa….nced all night" Believe me I am not kidding when I say there have been days when the song "dhukhi mann mere suno mera kehna" repeatedly plays on my head. Amazing ,how music reflects your mood. I kept telling my DH of all the mother daughter things that we would do. Last two days I have been busy making all the ingredients for chaat , her favourite of all times (maybe because she was born in aamchi Mumbai. ? )

Yesterday I called her up and gave the usual instructions on her packing and clearing up her room …ok Ma,said she so patiently to everything that I became suspicious..…clever girl, I KNEW she had learnt this from her father. .Both would say YES but do exactly what they wanted. I ended it with… I cant wait to see u. U know what… I am giving u 500 ringetts this time for shopping (I do not know how that figure slipped out but we all know words once uttered cannot be taken back.) She was taken aback. Amma , what happened to u ? are u feeling okay? I have not even mentioned shopping still…Baby, that shows how much I missed you. I said. Dh had a good laugh at that.

We started talking about all the things that would change from tomorrow. He said , we will be hearing Beyonce, Akon ,and Timberlake all the time or by now it will be someone new, of whom we still have not heard off. Even in the car it is always her cds or she would have her ipod with dh always telling her …please prattle to me…like u used to before. and she in one sentence would say APPA everyday I talk to u guys …now there is nothing new to say. Reminded me of the last holidays when dh was teaching her about electricity in physics. Now ,he has this habit of going right to the basics while explaining anything and she wants ready answers to specific questions (who doesn’t) …so eventually it was APPA…maybe things were different when u were studying so many years back ...and pat came my hubbys reply…but BABY ,electricity has always been the same isnt it ? I had enjoyed that conversation.

The screen saver and desktop background will be the first to change, I told him. Every time it changes to her current favourite person and remains that way till she comes for her next visit. She will stay up and watch all the sports, we no longer have any control over the Tv remote…for no reason at all she is not a great fan of Federer but will be drooling over Djokovic…and NEEDS me to agree with her…hey ,maybe he is a great player but come on I don’t like his long face…AMMA…u have to change your idea of good looks… u know…and hubby dear would look at me in an understanding manner and say …it is " raging hormones" … a vayasu kolaru…(troubles of that age) The day Djokovic lost his match recently I got a message at night and got up to view it in case it was an emergency but it was just her saying ….I feel close to tears, ma…. he lost…my response was…. But all is still ok with the world…. Now , go to sleep.

Now u will have company to go and see "Indiana Jones" and play chess and me too for "maid of honour" and shopping, I said. We will be watching the "friends" Dvd for the thousandth time, play scrabble and mainly use the brand new scrabble dictionary (still in its plastic cover) she last time presented to us so "lovingly" saying …….for both of u when u get bored with each other…

Yes, Both of us were really excited. DH asked me what is it u are looking forward to the most and I said her laughter…over so many things trivial…...the laughter of the youth, in fact…and what about u…I asked…he said The best thing is that for the next 45 days we both will also be 17 and that’s going to be great fun………

Dear Mindi,

Happy that your daughty is coming tomorrow and I can understand how happy you both should be ... As, I am in same situatin missing my parents and sister for nearly 4 years ... In 2 weeks, we all are going to meet and spend our times together like before ... Nothing is equal to those happy moments na ... Enjoy with your daughter and hope you all become 17 from tomorrow ...

hi mindi,

That took me back to long long back...my days at hostel and going home. ofcourse your angle is of a mother...

Nice to know that your daughter is coming home...and you are all going to be 17....enjoy your time.

Dear Mindi,

Nice to know that your daughter is coming home... It is always great to have a happy family filled with fun... Have a nice time and great holidays...


Veda

Dear Mindi,

A lovely Post !!

I can see my Mom's feeling in your post.... Each and Every mother this day or the other will have the emotion your have poured.... Enjoy each moment with your DD dear..

Hi,

It was a very good write up. Kudos to you for thinking that you are also going on 17 with her during her stay. I know many parents who pull the teenagers to their age! You are wiser as you know by going down to her age, she will come closer to you as a friend!

I brought lots of changes in my home as I grew up. The TV shows would be of my choice and the remote was always with me and my parents never insisted on it when I was at home.

The music was also of my choice and my parents would ask me, which movie it is, who is the singer, which band does he belong to and take interest in it rather than pull me up to thier age.

The food was always cooked to my taste, I was never forced to gobble what food of their choice. I would try out recipies from Rajasthan and Gujarat too and they would eat happily without complaining about Onions, Garlic etc.. etc.. and also the different taste. The way you are proud of the small change that your daughter will bring during her stay, my parents were also proud of the change that I was bringing in their lives.

Like you, even my parents were happy to adjust to my likings always! as I never studied in a hostel and was with them throughout!

By doing so, I had my best friend in them and they had a best pal in me!

Have a great time and do tell us what did you cook!

Hi Mindian.................

Have a great time, being 17 yrs again,...with your daughter...
Can figure out your excitement of seeing your daughter after 3 months...
wish you have a lot of fun..

Surely, you will have a lot to tell to her about your role in uniting a long lost relative with your family members last week...

Bye

Hey Mindi, gret to know that your daughter will be with you for the next 45 days...so we will see less of you here...but iam sure no one will regret that and am sure you will keep us updated on all the latest happenings. Hope you both have a great time with your daughter.

And let us know how it was being sweet 17 again.

Mindi my dearie
I absolutely love your thread.. excellent writeup.. Wonderful the way you have written and so very very engaging.. do keep writing more..
I can only imagine how a mother feels when their child comes home.. I am not there yet but I can imagine..
Here's wishing you and your sweet baby happy happy happy times.. Have fun and do keep writing.. :)

Dear Mindi,
My first post to you in this forum! Brings you my best wishes for a very long innings in IL!

Your post made me nostalgic! When Ruby (my daughter) got married & left home, it was as though one of my limbs was snatched away. I was so sure, she would be missing me equally or perhaps more. How foolish I was to think like that!

When she came home the next time, she started talking to me on the lines of
“ in my house-----“. When she referred to her MIL, fondly as Amma, I suddenly felt a stab in my heart!! I realised that the bird had flown out of my nest forever but formed its own nest.

Mindi, you must start coming to terms with the fact that at 17, she is blossoming into a completely different individual, no more an extension of you! This, I write, because I do not want you to feel the same prick, I felt, when my children started outgrowing me!

Assure her, that you will be "there" always for her! Tell her that she just has to dial you whenever she needs moral or emotional support.

You may curse me for writing this – but start exploring the phrase “detached attachment”. Enjoy every minute you spend with her this time, but remember to treasure it and bid her a pleasant goodbye when it is time for her to leave.

Remember, Gibran’s words on our children! I am sure, you have read them.

Happy times with your Sweet Babes!

Love,
Chithra.