Dependent OR Independent......

Dear brindhak,

You have raised many interesting issues facing women today. To some extent the society should take the blame for it. Lot of attrocities are done on women. So, naturally parents may be afraid of allowing their daughters to go and work in another town. Many girls are going abroad for higher studies and take up jobs in totally strange places and there has been no problem in that. But, the same thing is not easily possible in India. Married women after their children are grown up and settled in life can take up the careers which they want to do. I know many women are doing this.Independence for women is still a far cry and it is possible only when the society changes its attitudes.

Love,

Geetha Iyer

Dear SS..
thanx for reading this and writing a FB dear.. you FB's are always thoughtful and nice.. :)

Add to that our upbringing. All of us girls/women who were given a liberal upbringing believe that we were brought up like "boys" and that no gender discrimination was made by our parents. Could be true. But there are certain unsaid lessons that we were imparted growing up - imparted by society, imparted by our pwn parents (sometimes unknowingly). And these unsaid lessons play a huge role in the conditioning of our mind.

You have well quoted.. about unsaid lessons dear....

I sincerely urge all my fellow-women here and the ones who have daughters to read some of my thoughts about instilling the emotional independence streak in our girls. It is something that we have to work on right from their childhood. Feel free to share your thoughts in that thread -
Does financial independence alone help us chart our own course?

Surely I ll will read it dear..and share my thoughts...

ThanX for stepping in with your wonderful Feedback SS dear...

Originally Posted by sowmyapbhat

Hi Brindha,

I second SS, that independence can have various meanings, relative to each person.

There are many women belonging to the older generation, who are very independent - for example, my grandmother lives in the village. But she makes sure her voice and her preferences are heard! Everyone around bows to her because she is the strong type and does not take any nonsense from others.

On the other hand, I have seen many women who willingly forgo the right to make decisions. They hesitate even to disclose any illness they have, because they don't want to inconvenience the rest of the family. Now, that is such a sad situation. They seem to be happy, but I don't know if that is just a facade.

Thankfully, life is improving - you no longer hear of girls being readied for marriage at 15, and women are learning to stand up for themselves and voice their opinions. Believe me, how much ever another person loves you, he/she will always love himself/herself better. Therefore, no one can know our best interests better than we ourselves, and as human beings and citizens of free countries, it is our duty to realize that as best as we can.

Here's to all women and their well-being,

Regards,
Sowmya

Dear Sowmya...

Thanx for stepping in and sharing your thoughts.... Yes time is changing as you have stated.... This change should occupy in all class of women dear..thats my wish and thirst...

Thanx dear..

Originally Posted by lahy15

Dear Brindha,

Nice topic friend ...

Being Independant, depends to the life partner dear ... I have been dependant on my Mom and now to my Hubby ... later I will not be dependant on my son ... But, I grow my kids to be independant for their Future ... Even, when I sit infront of PC when my hubby is at home, I always type in hurry before he comes else he will ... 'what are you doing ... always with IL' ... doesn't this means also dependant ...

My dear Sweetheart....

Glas to see you here.... All the lines you have written are true dear.. Each women depends either directly or indirectly on men....

You have well quoted an example from day today life ..
I avoid staying in IL nowadys when my DH is at home...

Hi Brindhak,

Sorry dearie, I beg to differ a bit.

Gone are the days where women have to sacrifice etc etc... It is not the story of a one house in hundreds, women have carved a special space for themselves in the all fields be it home, office or social activities.

Women are managing office and home and I salatue those women whose spouse work abroad and only visit them once in a year for a few days, they manage the home and children with grace. There is no looking back or crying crocodile tears.

Both men and women are not dependent on each other anymore, they are more like friends.

Hi Brindha
That was a nice one what you wrote and I liked what Anu too have written.
According to me both are dependent on each other in some way or the other man and woman,
I am like the last sentence that you have mentioned from childhood I am always free to do what I wanted ya sometimes mom use to object on certain things but that was for my good. And by the grace of Lord I got a husband too the same way. We have no restrictions on each other nor do we interfer in each other matters but we will be knowing what each one of us are doing.
I feel one way we should always be dependent on each other.

hi brindha,

Excellent topic.Well written. I agree women face such problems, but it is not to that extent now-a-days.Moreever i feel dependency must be categorized into two; one is mental or emotional and other is pyhsical or fiscal.But in both wayz girls have started to act in a matured way.Right from Kg's they demand what they want.Ofcourse there are parents who are bit strict and orthodox, still this generation gals easily overcome them.Emotionally they are totally independent.The studies and exposure have helped them a lot to gain this stability.We ladies sharing all happenings and snippets of life is also one such independence and this shows the sign of independence in Future also.

Originally Posted by anandchitra

Dear Brindha
A very well written piece here by you.. also this has been a controversial topic forever!
First I want to share that my husband is one such person , a rare gentleman who respects me and has always given me space very graciously..
I agree with you on most of what you say but disagree with your lines
Women are dependent in the Present. I dont think so... atleast not to a great extent. As in many cases its difficult to generalise.. but things have vastly improved than during our mothers' times. Today most girls do have a choice about their education and then choice of life partners too.. But if you were to look only at the volume then this fact might still has scope for improvement.
Then again you need to deifne what is dependent and not.. There are many aspects to this leastof which is financial and emotional.
Also this need always be looked upon as a curse the dependent part.
It can be mentally stimulating and a pleasure to share your lot with your lifes partner provided you are fortunate to have this person also as your best friend.
Time would only tell.. if this is true or not!
Also while being dependent you can still make independent choices about so many factors that influence you and your family...
maybe I should stop rambling now!
Keep writing dear.. you rock!

Dear AC mam,

Thanx for stepping in and sharing your feedback... Very nice to see that you have a lovable heart always beside you.... :)

Your views on this are very thoughtful AC Mam..

Thanx for your warm words also..Your Encouragement means a lot to me.. :)

Originally Posted by Jithiks

Hi Brindha,

A controversial topic ! Infact, I had started a thread on similar lines on 29th march'08. There were very few but interesting responses from some of the IL'ites. I have also shared my thoughts on the same...

Here is the link...Women demanding level-playing field

Cheers
Krithika

Dear Krithika,

Thanx for sharing the link here dear.. I will go though it... :)

Originally Posted by Geetha Iyer

Dear brindhak,

You have raised many interesting issues facing women today. To some extent the society should take the blame for it. Lot of attrocities are done on women. So, naturally parents may be afraid of allowing their daughters to go and work in another town. Many girls are going abroad for higher studies and take up jobs in totally strange places and there has been no problem in that. But, the same thing is not easily possible in India. Married women after their children are grown up and settled in life can take up the careers which they want to do. I know many women are doing this.Independence for women is still a far cry and it is possible only when the society changes its attitudes.

Love,

Geetha Iyer

Dear Geetha...

Thankyou very much for showering your thoughts here... Your last line is very true dear...

Thanx for stepping in...