How to name this mentality?!?!

Cindhuja · Jun 26, 2008

Hi all,

Sice a long time i have been thinking about these kind of people, but never expressed or shared with others.Tought IL would be the appropriate place.

Not only me many of us would have come across such people, such as......

Few dayz ago my hubby went to a parlour for regular haircut, other than him a lady(Desi) with 3 children was also waiting.The parlor had advertised an offer as $9 for kids of age 9 and below 9. Of her 3 kids 2 were under the age of 7 whereas the eldest looked for sure as above 10 or 11, no doubt in it.But the lady claimed the offer for him too.The lady(not a desi) in the parlor accepted the money out of great hesitation, and that was very clear in her face.If @all the same thing had happened in India, there would have been a very big scene.

Another case, a colleague of my hubby has come to U.S . Until he finds a house he will be put up in a hotel for which company pays, say for 2 or 3 weeks.His parents were in one of his siblings house which is also in one part of U.S.They were about to visit him for 3 days to tour the local vista points , and all knew the exact date of their trip. What would we have done if we are in that situation??That too with 1 month of early notification about their arrival? Obviously, I would have found a new home or atleast booked a room in a hotel. You know what he did, he made his parents stay in the same room were he stayed and he moved to his colleagues room.

Likewise there are many people, i have seen some ladies doing strange things while purchasing.If they found the radish too big for them they would casually break it into pieces and bill it, snatch some extra leaves of coriander or spinach from other bunch and add it to the one they had got, take a handfull of grapes or berries and give it to their kids in the cart,snatch a very long piece of tissue to clean a very small mess..............

How do we call this habit or these people ladies? How many of you can withstand these behaviours??

Being conservative is not a sin, still what we save or spend must be the money from our hands not others. Whatz the lady going to gain by arguing the kid as 9 yr old??A person casually moves to his coleagues room, what about the privacy of the colleague??Is that extra 2 archs of greens going to help that lady?? Will ever a lady allow such a wastage of tissue in her own house??No way....If we earn 10, save 9 and spend 1 it is up to us, why should we cheat or make a living out of others.

Dont these people have a feeling like "What would others think about us"?Ofcourse we should live for us and not for others still we are all in the same society,

How do we name this?? Many quote this as Middle class mentality or as Indian menatlity?? By this i dont have an intention to hurt anyone.Even i am a middle class lady and i am a proud Indian.But i dont make a living out of others expense.

What do you all feel about this? Plz share with us.Sorry if i had hurt someone.

ANK · Jun 26, 2008

Hi Cindhuja!

Totally agree with ur sentiments! I have come across people like this too, our very own desis! I feel quite embarrased and move away from the vicinity. At times I think " No wonder foreigners treat desis like trash at times"! A few of them really do spoil it for us too!

Sujimallige · Jun 26, 2008

Dear Cindhuja,

Excellent write up.U spoke from my heart.

I have also seen such things and find it weired.I am also a middle class Indian and we are currently on a single income and expecting a baby.So i do know how important it is to save money,but how to save is the main question.
I agree with you that we must not save our money at the cost of others.

To quote a few things which made we feel why people do such things...

I had a friend here who had v different way of saving.They would go to restaurants and get food to go and sit in their car in the same hotel parking lot and eat it.If asked the reason she would give was if we eat inside the hotel we have to give tips to the server and if u suggest her to take it home and eat she would say no no the food will become cold.But dont u think it is v v odd to eat like this in the parking lot.

Then they never give tips to anybody.Be it hair salon,hotels,pizza delivery boy.Even if people ask her directly to give tips she dosent give tips.I find this habit v weired.
I do take out food many times.Infact my husband gets food home on his way back from office but till now we have never thought it from the angle of saving tips.

But we cant help it,there is a saying looko binna ruchi.The world has flavor because it is made up of so many varieties of people.

You are right,we all observe such things but cant speak it out due to fear of hurting others.IL is the best place.

I am sorry if i have hurt anybody's feelings ladies.My intention was just to share and not to make fun of anybody's situation or sentiments.Pld dont mind.

suji

Cindhuja · Jun 26, 2008

Hi ANK,

True, we are treated like trash @ times.As you said we have to move away no use teaching or preaching them.Thanks for sharing your comments.

Cindhuja · Jun 26, 2008

Hi Suji,

Even my family runs in a single income and we have never thought like those people to earn a living.Donno what they are going to gain out of this?Thanks for sharing your comments.

Happysoul1234 · Jun 26, 2008

This is a really interesting topic and takes me back to Charlotte, NC where I lived 6 years ago ..

I was at the check-out counter in walmart and there was a desi aunty in the next counter. As the cashier was bagging up her purchases, this aunty yanked a whole set of empty plastic bags, and by a whole lot I mean a whole lot and put it in her trolley!
I guess she could not afford to buy garbage bags!

babyraji · Jun 26, 2008

hi Cinduja,

very nice topic.

here everytime i go shopping for indian veg in indian stores ,i find many of them just picking up radish leaves n not radish as the price has to b paid.n i hav even noticed few of them feeding the gd ripe indisn fruits like chikoo n mango to their children (sometimes themselves) in the shop itself without paying.

these sights really make us bend our heads out of shame in front of other foreigners siting the same scene.

bye
raji

Cindhuja · Jun 26, 2008

Hi pmahensa,

Nicely pointed out.Donno whether to laugh or feel bad for such people.Thanks for sharing.

Happysoul1234 · Jun 26, 2008

Cindhuja you put a smile on my face first thing in the morning with this topic ... donno why but I find these behaviors more funny than irritating and have a good laugh at them !

But it's not just desis ... have you seen the chinese? In some cases they are worse than us! At a local farmer's market I go to, they will bargain like anything just to save a few pennies .. especially if the market is about to close, they will say or do anything because they know the seller would rather sell at a cheap price rather than take the produce back home!