My Conservative Upbringing - Part 2

‘Suresh ?’, my voice sounded like a high pitched squeak revealing my nervousness

‘Yes?’

‘This is Lakshmi. I saw your ad in Shaadikaladoo’

‘Oh hi ! ‘, he said. He sounded cheerful and his voice was deep

My heart pounded in my chest as I kept asking myself what I was doing

‘What do you do?’, he asked

‘I work in a software company’

I, LakshmiGayatri, was talking to a guy !

We talked for over two hours. He sounded so good ! He wanted to know everything about me and I told him things I had never told anyone

I told him about my mom and my upbringing and my brother being smarter than me. I even told him how my mom never praised me. He listened patiently and sympathized and laughed at my sense of humour.

He thought I was funny ! He seemed to think I was sooo smart. He said he had never spoken to anyone like me before

It was so nice to get compliments from a guy !

I had never felt so good in my life.



Soon we were talking almost everyday. He was all I could think about. I sometimes felt guilty for not letting him speak. I am such a chatter box !

One day he asked the inevitable question.

He wanted to meet me.

My heart pounding in my chest I agreed

My mind was in a whirl. Was I right to agree to meet him?

We had agreed to meet at a restaurant. In the daytime. I insisted.

Me, Lakshmi Gayatri meeting a guy !

I had to be careful. First I asked him to come in a taxi and pick me up. Then I changed my mind.

My mom had warned me about these kind of things.

What if he murdered me in the taxi? He could be a terrorist ! After all I had only talked to him on the phone

So I told him I would meet him in the restaurant.

Should I buy a gift?

Now that I was working I had started buying gifts. No, I decided. Let him gift me. Girls don’t give gifts

Should I ask him to show me ID proof? What if he turns out to be some imposter who has been tapping our phone calls?

Calm down Lakshmi. How can you go and ask ‘Show me your drivers license?' Am I a police man or some CID inspector or what?

Finally the day of our meeting arrived. I was both excited and nervous

I went and bought clothes on my own for the first time with Rachna. I dressed up in my new clothes and went to the restaurant. I dressed up in Rachna's house to avoid my mom's certain questions about why i was dressing up

I slowly gathered the courage and entered the restaurant

Suresh was there. Looking huge and imposing.

When he got up to greet me I thought ‘Oh my God he has a knife in his hand and he is going to kill me right now for teasing him so much !’ ( I tease him a lot on the phone since he agrees to whatever I tell him)

But he guided me to a chair and I sat down. I looked around the restaurant surveying everything. My first impulse was to look for an escape route.

‘No no’, I thought.’ maybe he has hired a professional to do the job. After all he is rich. The killer must be waiting outside !’

Finally I willed myself to be calm and not let my imagination run wild like this

I had initially imagined that I would just sit quiet and allow him to talk. But once I started I couldn’t stop myself !

I talked and talked. Suresh was the nicest guy I had ever met. He praised me no end.

When he said I was beautiful. I said 'I know' (I had seen Phoebe say this in an episode of Friends that I had seen in Rachna's house. I had always wanted to use that line!)

I went home that night and thereafter all I could think of was Suresh. His voice and the way he said I was beautiful. He made me feel soooo goood !

My mom asked me about Mr IIT everyday. ‘ What am I supposed to tell them?’ , She would yell. They are asking me to tell them my decision !

I did not know what to do

How could I ever tell her that i was falling in love with a non Brahmin who looked like a thug???

Finally I decided. I, Lakshmi Gayatri, was going to do the unthinkable

I took Suresh home to meet my parents

My entire household went into shock. My father threatened to get a heart attack. My mother said this was a black day in her life. She said she had wasted her entire life bringing me up

My father and mother completely forbid me from meeting Suresh ever again. They said making such a huge mistake would not only doom me but doom all my offspring for generations to come.

But I had decided. I was never more sure about anything as I was at this moment.

I left home and married Suresh.

My father and mother were horrified. They never talked or even agreed to see me again after that



Soon Suresh got a job in the US and both of us moved to Chicago. That was a relief in a way since I could not handle the stress of not seeing my parents. I had never lived without seeing them for so long

My brother also married and moved with his bride (chosen by my mother) to New York

I was not even invited for my brothers wedding.

Suresh held me close as I wept bitterly on hearing the news of my brother's wedding since I was very close to my brother

Then one day everything changed



It had been 5 years since I had talked with my mother.

My brother informed me regularly on the situation back home

‘They are still very upset’, he would say

Two years after my brothers wedding, my mother and my father came to visit my brother in New York.

I was worried since my brother had told me that my mother and sister in law did not get along very well

While they were there my father got a heart attack

The hospital refused to treat him without payment

The insurance they brought from India was some fraudulent one and did not offer any protection. This was when my sister in law showed her true colours.

She refused to pay for my father’s treatment.

My mother told my brother not to fight with her. My mother said if it was their fate, my father would rather die in the USA than ask my sister in law for help.

It was typical of my mother to behave like this. She did not believe in asking anybody for help. It was not 'our way'

When Suresh heard this he told me that we were leaving for NY immediately.

I told him I would go alone since they would never agree to meet him. He said 'let us try. I cannot stand by idle while this is going on. They are your parents after all and they brought you into this world. I owe them my deepest gratitude'

I was more proud of Suresh that day than I had ever been my entire life

Suresh and myself rushed to my fathers bedside

Suresh paid all the bills and stayed by my father’s side until he was well enough to go back home.

My mother was speechless but allowed us to help. I saw her as a different person for the first time in her life.

Maybe she was glad to see me. Maybe she felt I owed her.

But I was so happy to see her and my father that I did not care why she allowed us to help

My mother and father returned to Chicago with us once my father was discharged from the hospital

Suresh took great care of them and took leave to take them around to see the USA when my father was well.

I could see my mother watching the way Suresh treated me with so much respect and care

When they were leaving I saw a tear in my fathers eye. I knew what that meant.

My mother hugged me and it was a tears festival in the airport.

Since they returned to Chennai, they talk to us almost everyday on Skype. Most times it is my father who makes the call. And he always asks to speak to Suresh

Everyone comments on the change in my father since he returned from the USA.

They say that the USA has changed him. But I know it was not the USA. But it was the sight of his daughter being so happy. And his son in law treating his daughter with so much love and care, that changed my father and my mother.

They had realised that it was possible for a non Brahmin to love their daughter as deeply as any Brahmin

We visit Chennai regularly now and always stay at my home. None of the utensils are thrown away. The other day I was witness to my father giving his towel to Suresh !

To this day my father recommends all my relatives to allow their children to marry the partners they choose, as long as they love them, and not look at caste or religion

I do too and will bring up our child with that philosophy. He/She will be born next month !