Makers and Breakers

The world is packed with all sorts of crazy people but the record makers and breakers are the worst of the lot.

Now, now, despite hating cricket I don’t blame those guys who end up setting new records on scores, wickets etc. They just want to play and are often genuinely surprised to find themselves in the Limca Book of Records even if they don’t make it to the Guinness.

What gets my goat are those who do weird things to get into record books. For instance there was this guy with the world’s longest nails in India. He did make it to the Guinness Book though nobody gave him a role in some horror flick which he really deserved.

And another fellow countryman of mine set a record by eating the maximum number of world’s hottest chillies. No one heard of him afterwards. Presumably he was eaten up by chillies in his stomach.

But all that is pardonable. A guy in Mathura recently set a record for watching movies non-stop for 120 hours and that too Bollywood movies! Going by the quality of the stuff Bollywood dishes out, only denizens of hell should be allowed to go through such a torment, not living beings.

Tha guy wanted to break a record set by a German woman. His excuse, he wanted to put his home town Mathura on world map. Where is it now on the map of Jupiter may be?

A doctor constantly kept him company throughout the Tamasha, frequently examining Ashish Sharma (that was the nutter’s name) for ill effects of Bollywood movies. You see the Guinness guys wanted to take no chances, knowing fully well the kind of masterpieces that the Mumbai film factories churn out;.

Lots of questions arise over the record breaking act. Did he really watch movies non-stop without even going to the loo for relieving his bowels and bladders? Or were special arrangements made in the movie hall to enable him to multi task?

What happened to the poor doctor? Presumably he must have been a psychiatrist, since movie marathons are more likely to damage the brains than the body. Condemned to stay with Ashish, did he end up stark raving mad for the cause of putting Mathura on the world map?.

I must hand it out to Ashish,. If I watch 5 movies in a row (which I once did) I start suspecting that the world is an illusion and only song, dance, filimi romance with heros serenading the heroine lip synching to someone else's singing and fights with a dishum dishum soundtrack are real.

The German girl who set the earlier record certainly did not watch Bollywood flicks. I have seen German movies including a 10 hour –long movie in (un)easy instalments and they are quite watchable. You don’t feel like breaking into a song suddenly while walking on the street after watching them.

So Ashish had a tougher task at hand than the girl.. He had to ensure that he did not hallucinate after his bout of movie watching.. Hope he didn’t mistake the doc for some Bollywood heroine or villain. Being mistaken for a villain is bad enough but being taken for the heroine would be a bit too much...

Now what that he has walked into the Guinness Book and put Mathura on the world map? May be he would have girls swarming over him giving the glad eyes to the macho man. After all what is more macho than sitting through 48 Bollywood flicks

 

Dream Girl, these record breakers are mostly people suffering from a psychiatric illness called attention deficiency syndrome. They will do anything to get attention. But is getting into the Guinness book the right way. How many people buy it to look for the weird records of these jokers? Within days these chaps are dumped into the dustbin of history.

 

Great idea, simultaneously you can set a record of non-stop drinking for 12o hours.