I am ready

Dear friends,
After reading the title, don't be mistaken...it is not for me..( I am already 'readied'!)How successful is another story..

I am going to ask a question, yeah one one question but the answers will be many...according to one's perspective or it may be a common answer....no problem, as long as there is an answer, no problem..

Long time ago...(this is not a story...) I read or heard , i just forgot ( see how looooong ago) that in North India, there were classes for the bride-to-be. In those classes, they teach the nuances of the new life they ( the brides) are going to face....and how to come out successfully...

It is a custom to let know the bride...how to behave in her in-laws place...and we get a heap of advices ranging from house-hold work--- to look after the in-laws and DH...
Moreover, there were early marriages going on at that time....these advices are necessary... I think some of the advices are still practical to have a healthy and peaceful (?) life..what do you say?

In this ever changing world, what makes you think that they ( brides and grooms) are ready for the marriage?
This is the question you are going to answer...

sriniketan

Dear Sini,

I am ready..... to give a reply!!!

I think every body plans to get their children married ,whatever the current scenario, but nowadays I see more late marriges than before.
There was a time when there were literally child marriage, then came the era when the next month after graduation you are being 'readied' for marriage , thats is around 20 years of age for the girls. Nowadays with the specialization in studies being absolutely imperative more and more are planning to marry but late.

I guess you are 'ready' when you are completely in sync with the idea of marrige, it doesnt make you feel like you have been charged with life imprisonment, you are mature enough to tackle the challenges that are which of course is a part of every relationship. It is more about the mental and emotional acceptance to the idea of marrige.

Marriage is a beautiful institution but yes you must be ready to go in for it!!

Love,
Devika

Dear Srini Teacher

May i know what made you ask this question? Planning for second innings? or still obsessed with ur dd's questions? Chumma kidding. I do not know wat makes 'others' ready for the marriage.

I am ready...Ofcourse only to read the replies of others here.

Love
Meena

Hi Sriniketan,

I am not aware of the custom you are talking about but I would say that many of the lot would not be ready for the marriage..Physically 100% yes but mentally????

From the parents point of view, once their child crosses a certain age they think they are ready for marriage..cant blame them too cos they need to finish off with their responsibility...

My humble opinion is that parents should mentally prepare their child and then look for a bride / groom..

Better to check with the children if they have any love affair or to look for their partners with their consent..This will avoid parents facing embarrassing situations...

Devika,
Your fb is prompt and to the point...mental and emotional acceptance are more important than anything else, is true...

sriniketan

Meena,
See how are prompt in answering the questions, (but not to the point..this time.)
Your eagerness shows that you need tips for your readiness in this area...
But I see more of your participation in these topics...

2nd innings, no way...about dd's question...that's a good point...but that didn't make way for this question..umm..

sriniketan

sharadha,
Your is worth millions....better to check and do one's duties as parents...true..
Mental preparedness is the key factor...they should know when, where and how to draw the lines between the relationships they are going to have....

sriniketan

Dear Sriniketan,

Very Nice topic. Starting to reply hearing a good old 80 hit of Rajinikanth "I am ready ready ready...".

Let me tell when i felt ready rather than guessing about others mentality.

I did my 3 yr U.G. course successfully, when i was in the last semester my relatives started asking my parents to start looking for an alliance. My parents replied, no it is not like our period let her do some PG or get a job, she is not ready yet (Yes i was not ready then).

Then i did my MCA (again a three yr course), same happened with my parents, now they replied, she has studied a lot, so we wish her gain something (not money) out of it before getting married. Luckily i got a job in my final semester itself.An yr passed on peacefully. Now it was my parents turn, they felt i should get prepared for my marriage, though they didnt speak it directly i was able to understand.I told them that i need 1 more yr so that i get a better job than what i had.They said ok.

1 yr later again the same topic arised.I felt i should agree this time, coz it would not be fair on my part if i ask them to wait still more, earlier i had valuable reasons, now i had nothing, moreover phsically and menatlly i was mature enough to face it. So i said Ok.In another 6 months i got married.

cindhu,
nice to hear from your side...this shows that we should not only be ready either physically, or financially but should be mature enough to accept marriage as an institution...
Good job on your part and also for your understanding parents..
That song...i totally forgot...thanks for bringing up this here. of late, i am not able to listen to any of those songs...

sriniketan

Dear Sri,
marriage is the very most important happening of one's life which will make/mar one's life. So it is better to get prepared well in all aspects for the marriage.
Devika and Sharada had given their opinion, which is 100% right. I go with them. And Cindhuja's experience shows she was prepared well. Good of her.
In my case, I am the second daughter-fifth child. My sister did not get married till 32 though she is good looking and was working. Then, my cousin's alliance was sought for me. I was compelled to agree for that (I was in the 3rd year of graduation then). I strongly refused on the ground that my sister (elder to me by 11 years) was waiting and 3 elder brothers were in the line and it would be most inappropriate for me to get married. I was successful.
My sister got married after 1 year and then only I let my people to look for a groom. Even then, just when I was about to meet the groom, my father had a massive attack. I refused then also, on the financial grounds. (By the time elder brother was also married). My second brother and mother convinced me sayin that if I got married ( they thought it was a good alliance), my brother would be able to settle down in another year. So I agreed and married.
I had completed my studies and was working for nearly 1 1/2 years by this time and felt I could manage well emotionally also. And I had been successful in living with this guy for the past 21 years.(our 21st anniversary just passed by).