Whose Fault Is It Anyway?

Whose Fault Is It Anyway?

Natarajan was watching the speaker on the podium with great intent.He did not move this side or that side.His whole concentration was on the speaker and what he was telling the assembled people.
The speaker,Mr.Dhananjayan was in full gusto,”To sum up,ladies and gentlemen, we Indians do not know the value of time.Time is precious,a second is like a kilo of gold,you can buy gold, if not now, at any other time, when you can affordBut, the time you have lost, will not come back to you again.
We, working in offices,we, studying in colleges and schools,we, housewives should understand the importance of being punctual,not coming late to office,not wasting the precious hours.Look at Japan…..”on and on he went.Our Natarajan sat mesmerized by those words.When he left the hall, where the monthly meeting of the welfare association of the office was held,he was determined that come what may,from the next day onwards he would be in office in time ie at 10 o’clock.
Natarajan,my dear,was a lower division clerk in a government office.He is a contended soul, travelling to and back from office by bus,running his home on a thin budge.,Fortunately, his wife was a simple soul as well, and her requirements in life also were minimum ,so they were ok.
When he went to sleep that night ,he kept the alarm at 5.30 in the morning.He got up at 5.30 and rushed to the bathroom ,to finish his morning duties ,have his bath and get ready to office by atleast 9 o’clock so that ,he can reach the office in time.He opened the tap in the bath room ,my dear, and only air came out with the peculiar sound that you can, if you have the inclination, compare with that of the hissing sound of a snake.Water did not come,not a drop.
He shouted in the direction of the kitchen,where his wife was busy,”Alamu,what happened,water is not coming?”
Alamu replied,”The water tanker did not come for the past two days.So, there is no water in the tank,how will you know all these things?I only have to manage with or without water.Do you know I go to the water tap in the road to collect water for cooking?”
Natarajan did not stay to hear the rest of her lecture,he rushed to the road side pipe with the bucket to get water.
It was nearing,8.30.Natarajan was determined that somehow he will reach the office in time.He was about to sit down for breakfast,when Alamu said,”I have not made any tiffin today.Can’t you see,there is no cooking gas.It was over ten days back.I have been telephoning the gas fellow, every day. He says that gas will come tomorrow.Kerosine is also not available,I begged the next door neighbour’s maid and bought from her 2 litres.Now this will also be over.What am I going to do…”She did not finish,Natarajan who was in a hurry to reach the 9 o’clock bus, told her,”Does not matter.Have you prepared atleast lunch for me?”His lunch every day is only curd rice and pickles.Alamu glared at him, removed the vessel in which rice was getting cooked,removed the starch water from the rice, and hurriedly prepared curd rice,put it in the stainless steel dubba and gave it to him.

Natarajan was waiting for the bus for the past ten minutes.Two buses came ,but the conductor gave the whistle even before the bus neared the stop and so both the buses did not stop in the bus stop.Natajan kept looking at his wrist watch.It was already 9.10.He became restless.His aim of reaching the office in time seemed to be far away.Finally a bus came and though it was also full of passengers,stopped at the bus stop.Natarajan,by now adept at the art of pushing and getting into the bus,did so.Somehow he was pushed by the other passengers to the center.In that process his hair became a mess,His shirt ,tucked in the pants,came out and the shirt had lost a button.Natarajan did not bother.Even one stop before where he was to get down,he shouted to the conductor who was at the other end of the bus,that he had to get down at the next stop.In the next stop,my dear,Natarajan did not have to even move ,the fellow passengers were so kind as to push him to the exit and pushed him out.Alas!my dear,Natarajan’s tiffin box which carried his lunch fell on the road,when he was pushed out and the precious curd rice and pickles fell on the ground.Some people standing nearby, actually took pity on him and picked up the tiffin box and gave it ot him.
Natarajan crossed the road to reach his office which was on the opposite side of the road.That took him ten minutes.He reached the office with his disheveled hair,buttonless shirt and tired countenance only to find that the attendance register had gone to his boss’s room.
Ntarajan’s boss took one look at him and yelled,”Do you know what the time is now?”Natarajan said solemnly,”It is ten past ten ,Sir”
The boss shouted,”Is this the time to come to office?Don’t you have any sense of responsibility?You should know the value of time,man.What is the use of talking to you,Please go to your place”
Natarajan came out of his boss’s room.His stomach was grumbling for he had not taken any breakfast.He looked at his tiffin box which was now empty since the curd rice had fallen down. He fumbled for his purse,the purse contained only Rs 2,his busfare back home.Natarajan walked slowly to his place.He felt sad that however much he tried,he could not reach the office ibn time.
Whose fault,do you thnk it is ,my dear that Natarajan could not reach his office in time?Is it the fault of the State Transport Service,is it the fault of the gas dealer,is it the fault of the government in not providing the basic facility of running or even water tanker services,or is it the fault of our Natarajan in wanting to come to office in time and achieve something, that is a feat beyond his capacity?

Sumathi was a college stuident.Her father worked as an accountant in a reasonably good company,her mother was a full time home maker.They were a middle class family.Sumathi’s father Guru was a practical man.He started saving for his daughter’s marriage evr since she was a small girl.He wanted to get her married as soon as she finished her graduation.Sumathi my dear, was also not keen about pursuing a career ,she also wanted to marry,settle down and be happy.
Sumathi finished her graduation and her father started looking for a suitable alliance for her.Finally through the help of some relatives ,he got in touch with a boy’s family.The parents of the boy were also looking out for a suitable girl for their son.
After the initial formalities were over,the boy and the parents came to see Sumathi.Guru,who was very attached to his daughter and was very proud of her, as any other father is found to be proud of his daughter,told the boy’s parents,”My daughter is a quiet girl ,Sir.She cooks very well.Her mother has trained her in all household works,you see!”.
The boy’s father said,”We are not bothered whether your daughter knows how to cook,Sir.If she can’t cook,so what?My son can always get food from outside.Thats not the issue at all.Has your daughter learnt carnatic music,Sir?In our house all of are interested in carnatic music,particularly my son”So saying,he looked at Guru.Guru blinked.He had no idea that when it came to the question of her marriage,Sumathi would be required to know music,carnatic that too!
He said,”No,Sir,my daughter does not know music”
The boy’s father said,”Sir,when there is puja,festival the daughter inlaw has to sing.That is what we want,nothing else.Tell you what.engage a teacher to teach her carnatic music,if God’s will is there,who knows?She m ay become our daughter in law”.So saying they all left Guru’s house without a backward glance.
Guru looked at his wife with great irritation,”You did not know music or dance.So it never occurred to you that your daughter has to learn either of these to get a good alliance.See this man wants his daughter in law to know music,such a good alliance.Now what shall we do?”
His wife tol;d him in a soft voice,”There is a lady in the next street.She teaches carnatic music to housewives and girls.My friends told me that she does not charge much I will talk to her tomorrow”.It never occurred to Sumathi’s parents to find out whether their daughter was interested in learning carnatic music.But Sumathi was an obedient girl.She started going for the music class, which her mother arranged for her.
Somathi did not have an ear for music and her voice also did not cooperate with her.But the teacher who taught her was a good hearted person. She knew why Sumathi was learning musiuc,so she took extra pains to teach her.One year passed very fast and Sumathi had learnt two Thyagaraja keerthanas in this one year, with great difficulty.

Guru tried to contact the family who wanted Sumathi to learn Caratic music.He learnt much to his dismay that the boy was already married.Guru was very disappointed but he did not show his emotion to his only daughter whose heart he did not want to break.He started looking for other alliances.Fortunately ,very soon he came across another alliance for his daughter.The boy was a computer engineer and was working in the usa.Sumathi’s mother prayed to all the Gods on the day they came to see the girl, that this alliance should click for her daughter.
The boy and his parents came to see Sumathi.They liked the girl.Guru told the parents,”My daughter knows carnatic music ,Sir.She is trained in music and is well trained in house work”
The boy’s father looked at Guru and said,”Sir,who wants music.I f we want to listen to music let us put on the tape or the radio.Why should we harass the ladies at home?What I want to know is ,has your daughter done any computer course?”
“Computer!”blinked Guru.”No,sir she has not done any computer course”he said in a small voice.
“What is this ,Sir.This is computer age.My son is working in the US.If your daughter marries him and goes there,she can not sit at home.She has to go for a job.If she is a computer professional,getting ma job in the US is easy,you know?”He continued,”Sir,we like your daughter.Let her do a computer course.My son will be coming to India after two years. .Let us meet then.If God is on our side,she will become our daughter in law,you see”
Sumathi looked at the boy through the corners of her eyes.He was also looking at her and he smiled at her.Sumathi blushed.
Guru put his daughter in a computer course.My dear friends,when it comes to the lives of their children the parents are willing ot do any sacrifice and put up with any difficulties.
Two years passed swiftly.Sumathi finished her computer course successfully and before the results were out,she got a good job also in an MNC.Sumathi’s parents were vry happy.Guru waited for the boy who was working in the US to get in touch with them They did.The family came to see Sumathi once again.Sumathi came into the hall to greet them,carrying lovely dreams in her heart.
The boy’s father on seeing Sumathi,said to Guru,:Sir,what happened to your daughter.Why is she looking like this?”
Guru again blinked,”She is fine ,Sir.There is nothing wrong with her.”
The boy’s father said,”Sir,when we saw her last time,she was fresh looking,charming.Now she has aged.Look, she even has one or two grey hairs in the front”That man,my dear was brutish.But he was the boy’s father,you know.He could say anything about the girl and get away with it.He said,”Look at my son, Sir,he looks young,your daughter will look like his elder sister by his side”he said.Sumathi was shocked.She looked at the boy,hoping that he would say something positive about her.But he looked at the ceiling.
“So sorry Sir.We wanted this alliance,you know.But I think God does not want it ‘So saying the father led the family out.
Sumathi’s mother went inside the kitchen,sat on the floor and shed silent tears.Sumathi went to the puja room and prayed to God.”God,please ,take care of my parents.They should not become dejected.My father should not become a sad person.Even if I remain a spinster it is ok,but my parents should not suffer on account of me.She went to her room,closed the room door and cried.
Guru sat in the hall for a long time,dejected and unhappy.
My dear friends,tell me,who is responsible for Guru’s unhappiness and Sumathi’s simple dream of marrying a good man settling down in life not being fulfilled so far?If Sumathi had married immediately after her graduation,she would have become a mother now.Guru and his wife would have become happy grandparents.Who us responsible for their unhappiness?Was it Guru’s foolishness in catering to the demands of the boys’ parents and making his daughter learn music and computer and waste precious time?.Was it the thoughtlessness of the boys’parents to insist that the girls they see for their sons, to be this and that?Was it the innocence or ignorance of Sumathi to obey her parents without thinking for herself, what she wanted in life.If dhe had made her own choice in marriage,may be she would have settled down by this time.Whose fault is it that her dreams marrying and settling down in life,have so far remained dreams?

I was sittimng in the balcony of my house and sipping my evening dose of hot coffee,when Kothai entered my house and sat on the floor in front of me.Kothai was an elderly woman.Her daughter in law was my maid and when hr daughter in law was not well and took leave,JKothai used to come and do the house work for me.I was very fond of Kothai.She must have been a little more or less thatn seventy.Shrunken body,wrinkled face, but her eyes twinkled all the time.When she smiled her toothless smile my heart would go to her.I asked her,”Kothai shall make coffee for you?”
“No,Amma “she said.I could see that she hesitated to ask me something,I could guess.”Do you want any old saree.Or do you want some money?”I asked her.
:No,Amma,if I wanted old saree I would have asked you ,you know”she said smiling.I waited for her to contionue.She said to me.”Amma,I want work”I was surprised.I knew that she was already working in some houses.Did any one of them chuck her out.No,nobody would chuck her out,because she was such a good worker”
Kothai herself answered my question.”Amma,I work in sulo amma’s house in the morning.I sweep and wipe the floor and wash the vessels,and they pay me well.At 12 o’clock,I go to the school to pick up Jalaja amma’s child and bring him back.For that she pays me well .In the evening I work in another house .I wash vessels and sweep the floor.At four o’ clock,Amma, my work is over Iam free.Amma,now a days things are very costly. Amma,poor my son,how will he manage the expenses if I and my daughter in law don’t help him out.So Amma,between 4 o’clock and 6 o’ clock I am free Amma.If somebody wants a maid,please tell them about me and get me work Amma.”Kothai got up to go.It was with great difficulty that I controlled my tears that welled up in my eyes
I told her,”Most certainly,kothai I will tell my friends and will get you a good job.”I gave her coffee and tiffin. She had coffee,took the tiffin in a packet for her grandson and left.
I felt sad that at this age,when she had to take rest,and be peaceful, this woman was looking out for job ie to do house work which will nodoubt be tough for a woman of her age.

Tell me my friends,whose fault is it that Kothai has to work at this age?Is it the fault of the Government in not taking care of our old citizens,seniors who do not even know that it is the Government’s responsibility to take care of its old citizens who are on the verge of poverty?Is it the responsibility of Kothai’s son who can make her sit at home and give her not even a single proper meal, because he himself is poor? Is it the responsibility of the society consisting of you and me ,who can share a little it of what we have and give some protection to these hapless old people,Is it the responsibility of the Ambanis,The Tatas,The Birlas,The Narayanmurthys and other such great industrialists who are keen to make more and more profit year after year,but do they do enough for the old and the poor?
Iam no economist,my dear.Iam no financial expert.Iam not even a politician ,my dear.Iam only a very simple house wife.Have I asked stupid questions,my dear?In that case,pardon me.If I have asked only logical questions,please do answer me,whose fault is it anyway?

Hi Mithila,

Your questions are certainly logical and thought provoking. hmm.. whose fault is it? I don't have the answers. Your stories reflect the daily lives of a lot of people in India who put up with power cuts, lack of water, poor infrastructure, insensitive in laws and grinding poverty. It is not their fault, but at the same time I do believe that we can better the circumstances of our lives. Blaming the government is not going to solve any problems. All these problems have risen because of rampant misuse of public resources and corruption. We blame government officials for being corrupt, but at the same time are not above passing a few notes under the table to get our job done. It's not my fault, it's not your fault but the problem persists. Let us put our heads together and solve it.

Basic facilities and utility facilities like Trasportation persists coz of ever increasing population. Let us talk about our Country where the graph of poverty is rising on a higher scale. The first character suffered for no fault of his, the second character was inviting problems. It was not necessary to push his daughter in to marriage. Is marraige the solution of all the problems? What if the husband dies in an accident or early in life, the woman is back to square one? Why push so much for a man yaar? One should learn to make a better living for oneself and not for others sake. As people will push you as far as you can be pushed, retaliate and you will find a soultion. It is the fact, that parents still try to push marriage in their daughters throat.

Very thought provoking post. Keep writing mithila, you rock in my eyes.

Dear Mithila

Very thought-provoking day- to- day incidents that you have penned so well.

Dear Mithila
You have written so well about day to day life.. and on current topic.. I might be the only odd one here.. because I dont think its anyone else's fault.. one has to take responsiblity.. Natrajan should have planned better his day.. and be more aware that cooking Gas had been over for 10 days.. really dear I find it difficult to beleive one husband is not even aware of that.. here its his wifes responsiblity to make sure dh is aware of situation.. taking case of SUmathi.. same thing applies. She has a mouth hence can speak! And last the servant maid.. I too have see many a servant maids life who have made it through their lives and not as bad as it seems to be made out here.. I dont think we can move anywhere if we remain blaming the government.. I was surprised you gave that an option.. Its time for each individual to standup and take responsibility. My one cent I think!

hi mithila,
i am so touched by all these stories.
1.i really appreciate the attitude and the intention natrajan had.come what may inspite of all difficulties he wanted to reach on time.i dont know who to blame here.

2,regarding marriage of sumathi.i personally think a woman should be respected for what she is.these people could have provided her with the skills of carnatic music and computer course even after marriage if they are really interested in the girl.???instead of hurting their feelings..... i think sumathi's dreams as well as her parents are normal but again dont know who to blame!!!

3.the story of kothai just impresses me 70 year old and still ready to work hard.i dont know who to blame again!!!!
but i know one thing, you have again conveyed great messages in these story my dear mithila.
atleast we can do some change in the soceity by helping such people like kothai or bringing up children with proper values of respecting others for what they are and not what they want them to be which could solve problems for many kothai's and sumathi's and having some empathy for people with genuine intentions like natrajan.....
best wishes
pavi

Dear AC

I too was thinking on the same lines as you, but could not say it so eloquently as you!

Dear Mithila Ma'am,

Wonderful set of scenarios, each evoking difficult questions! Your writing is like an effortless narrative of an invisible spectator!

1. The case of poor Natarajan who wanted to do all the right things but had the rug pulled from beneath his feet - it is definitely the fault of the Government, which considers basic infrastructure to be unnecessary! I too have waited with frustration for bus after bus, hoping one would stop, or atleast would have standing room!
Situations like these, I'm sure, drove capable people out of the country!

2. And what can I say about the girl and her parents! Bending over Backwards is what I would sum it up as! All three of them are at fault - first, the father and mother, for not giving priority to their daughter. If a prospective groom didn't deign to consider the girl, that is his loss! One need not move heaven and earth to meet the lofty expectations of others..
The girl should have had a bit more self respect - everyone should know how far they are willing to go, and not compromise on that..Thank God, that these days, girls have learned to speak up and not take insults lying down!

3. Finally, the bleak situation that Kothai finds herself in! Who is to blame? Alas, poverty has many fathers...First, the administration that failed to support them atleast by giving them affordable education and housing. Secondly, their ancestors, who didn't save enough for them..And then themselves, for not prioritizing education in their youth. After all, to lift oneself out of poverty, one either needs money or the skill that can bring in money...

Sorry for such a long feedback...your excellent post made me pour out my thoughts!

Regards,

Sowmya

Dear sowmya,
Thank you for that excellentFB.
These situations do occur.Imn my college days,we used to wait for the bus,the bus would halt on the way,reason?break down.Then I remember having to walk all the distance to college.The question of auto did not arise at all.We used to walk in a group.
Yes,I have told in my thread that the parents should have thought about their daughter's feelings,whether she was interested in music.Sumathi also should have made her own choice .The parents need not have wasted precious years in catering to the whims of the parents of the prospective grooms.
As far as Kothai is concerned,my heart weeps for hr.It is everybody's fault,even mine.Having known her the narrator should have helped her out .
love
mithila kannan

dear mithila,
well said about the troubles of the middle class well described here, i can only pity with each of their situation in life. however much we may want to help but sometime only we can be witness to it, nothing more...sunkan