I Know what you Should do!

Yesterday my friend Saroj was telling me this happened to her at work. Saroj was informing a friend about her plans to visit Orlando.
Now I am going to have to digress a little bit here. And here's why:)
Ever since I started writin blogs my dh has been asking me to include 2 names that he has chosen for my blog. Those names are Drivethru Dandapani and KnockOut Kandasamy. These are names he has come up with and I really cannot go into the Why because it is a blog topic by itself. :)
So now everyday he has been asking me did I use those names or not. somehow those names never fit in the blog topic so since I am now under lots of house pressure I am going to use those names here, though irrelevant.
So knockout Kandasamy (KK) informed Drivethru Dandapani (DD) that he was going to visit Orlando. Immediately DD started giving a lot of suggestions to KK about where to stay, what places to see, when to go , where to eat and such.
It was truly overwhelming for KK who had not asked for an opinion from DD. All KK was trying to do was inform DD about impending travel plans.
I wonder how many of you have come across such people like our Drivethru Dandapani??
The moment we tell them something, they have to give us all sorts of unasked for information. And sometimes they assume that we would be lost without all of this unasked for advice!
Now this can occur with something as important or serious as surgery. Recently when my husband had to take a small surgery for his small finger, so many people came upto him and suggested various ideas starting from the need to get a second opinion and upto the point of debating the need for surgery itself. It did appear to me the task of the surgeon quite redundant with all these people assuming so much.
A while ago I faced this situation when deciding a menu for the birthday party. When I had to call and invite someone they would then move onto the idea giving phase and totally try to change my menu plans. Neither did I ask for suggestion nor did I welcome them. Then why do people poke their nose and give suggestion?
Just last week a friend (no more references to DD and KK. my obligation is over now:) was informing a few others about her plans to travel to India for summer. Immediate reaction was which airline, that airline is no good, go with the other airline, and such..
If its a wedding plan, then the ideas and suggestions never cease. They would go on about which venue to which cook would be better suited to maybe even choice of bride or groom???
Is this just happening here or is it a worldwide syndrome??

dear AC,

That was hilarious....as i too have encountered such people...u are just informing them but end up with a lot of advice which leaves u totally confused and scared too if it is related to health or your kid... i think it is because people want to TALK,TALK AND TALK.....sometimes i feel they love to hear their own voice....maybe we all are lonely far way from our homes and want to be close to each other thereby giving unsolicited advice and suggestions....anyway listening from one ear and letting it out thru the other is the best policy...and yes ...i am waiting for the blog on KK and DD ...sounds very interesting.....

Mindi

Hi Chitra,

This happens with every one and the happenings you had listed are the most common. They start suggesting like as though we are from another world and just stepped in here to take their advices and suggestions.. At times it goes to the extent of not only giving suggestions but taking the liberty of deciding for others..

Originally Posted by Mindian

dear AC,

That was hilarious....as i too have encountered such people...u are just informing them but end up with a lot of advice which leaves u totally confused and scared too if it is related to health or your kid... i think it is because people want to TALK,TALK AND TALK.....sometimes i feel they love to hear their own voice....maybe we all are lonely far way from our homes and want to be close to each other thereby giving unsolicited advice and suggestions....anyway listening from one ear and letting it out thru the other is the best policy...and yes ...i am waiting for the blog on KK and DD ...sounds very interesting.....

Mindi

Mindi dear
So you have encountered such people too!.. You seem to have got it right.. they want to talk and talk and hear their own voice:).. your perception of this shows your higher level of maturity.. and the solution you give us is perfect. Hope I remember it next time.! Thanks for liking the DD and KK from DH..

Originally Posted by sharadha

Hi Chitra,

This happens with every one and the happenings you had listed are the most common. They start suggesting like as though we are from another world and just stepped in here to take their advices and suggestions.. At times it goes to the extent of not only giving suggestions but taking the liberty of deciding for others..

Sharadha dear
Youa re so wordly wise! At times they do decide for us too.. and then we wonder where did we err!

Originally Posted by anandchitra

Yesterday my friend Saroj was telling me this happened to her at work. Saroj was informing a friend about her plans to visit Orlando.
Now I am going to have to digress a little bit here. And here's why:)
Ever since I started writin blogs my dh has been asking me to include 2 names that he has chosen for my blog. Those names are Drivethru Dandapani and KnockOut Kandasamy. These are names he has come up with and I really cannot go into the Why because it is a blog topic by itself. :)
So now everyday he has been asking me did I use those names or not. somehow those names never fit in the blog topic so since I am now under lots of house pressure I am going to use those names here, though irrelevant.
So knockout Kandasamy (KK) informed Drivethru Dandapani (DD) that he was going to visit Orlando. Immediately DD started giving a lot of suggestions to KK about where to stay, what places to see, when to go , where to eat and such.
It was truly overwhelming for KK who had not asked for an opinion from DD. All KK was trying to do was inform DD about impending travel plans.
I wonder how many of you have come across such people like our Drivethru Dandapani??
The moment we tell them something, they have to give us all sorts of unasked for information. And sometimes they assume that we would be lost without all of this unasked for advice!
Now this can occur with something as important or serious as surgery. Recently when my husband had to take a small surgery for his small finger, so many people came upto him and suggested various ideas starting from the need to get a second opinion and upto the point of debating the need for surgery itself. It did appear to me the task of the surgeon quite redundant with all these people assuming so much.
A while ago I faced this situation when deciding a menu for the birthday party. When I had to call and invite someone they would then move onto the idea giving phase and totally try to change my menu plans. Neither did I ask for suggestion nor did I welcome them. Then why do people poke their nose and give suggestion?
Just last week a friend (no more references to DD and KK. my obligation is over now:) was informing a few others about her plans to travel to India for summer. Immediate reaction was which airline, that airline is no good, go with the other airline, and such..
If its a wedding plan, then the ideas and suggestions never cease. They would go on about which venue to which cook would be better suited to maybe even choice of bride or groom???
Is this just happening here or is it a worldwide syndrome??

Dear Chitra,


Good one.I am the same too,.giving suggestions without being asked.Just yest night , we friends with families were meeting for dinner and drinks.

A topic came up, and I told my friends wiohtout being asked , if they have insured the construction of the bunglows, as I have done, and if not do so, as also to do so from a particular company of which I have had good expierence .


My point is always to share the good things that happen with me,so that others can take advantage of them to their benefit, or warn them of say a marriage Venue where I had a bad experience if I come to know they are going to hold something there.


But after reading yr blog, I have come to understand that I should not give advise without being asked for, and keep my mouth shut.Thats sensible thing to do.

See im learning even at this age Chitra.HAHA.Thanks and I shall follow yr advise for ever, its good and will save me energy too.

Regards.kamal

Hi chitra,

I guess we need to make them understand and draw a line as to where they are supposed to stand and to what extent they should go about giving advices / suggestions.

This is just a suggestion.

Originally Posted by anandchitra

Sharadha dear
Youa re so wordly wise! At times they do decide for us too.. and then we wonder where did we err!

Originally Posted by Kamalji

Dear Chitra,


Good one.I am the same too,.giving suggestions without being asked.Just yest night , we friends with families were meeting for dinner and drinks.

A topic came up, and I told my friends wiohtout being asked , if they have insured the construction of the bunglows, as I have done, and if not do so, as also to do so from a particular company of which I have had good expierence .


My point is always to share the good things that happen with me,so that others can take advantage of them to their benefit, or warn them of say a marriage Venue where I had a bad experience if I come to know they are going to hold something there.


But after reading yr blog, I have come to understand that I should not give advise without being asked for, and keep my mouth shut.Thats sensible thing to do.

See im learning even at this age Chitra.HAHA.Thanks and I shall follow yr advise for ever, its good and will save me energy too.

Regards.kamal

Kamal Bhayya
Not sure if I gave the good advice?? just wrote on topic.. But please be the way you are.. do not change.. I have an uncle like you.. will extend himself to give advice to all.. and suggestions. and definetly insurance related.. But everyone only used him for these suggestions and did not bother about the person beneath.. so spreading too thin is not good either.. Glad u liked:)

Originally Posted by sharadha

Hi chitra,

I guess we need to make them understand and draw a line as to where they are supposed to stand and to what extent they should go about giving advices / suggestions.

This is just a suggestion.

Great reply Sharadha.. not sure why you are laughing but really you said it well. That should be our attitude for certain:)

Dear AC,

I have no words to explain my feeling after reading this post. Nalla Soneenga Chitra, nalla soneenga...I am really fed up with those people..At times i feel like yelling @ them like how Rajinikanth does to Vadivel in the film ChandraMukhi (Naan ketaena??). Even i try to purchase an inner garment for me there will be thousands in queue to give an opinion for me (Enga irundhu dhaan kilambuvangalo ! )

Nice writeup I enjoyed.