Price hikes and Guests and elderly Parents

As far back as I can remember, my house used to be always host to relatives coming in or going via Madras or there on business reasons. Most days dinner will be a full house and not much space for us kids. All the traffic did make a dent to my studies. I had to go to a friends place to study or study later at night and go back to where the "Thoyykira Kal" was.. this was a huge stone like structure which slightly slopes towards you and will be approximately mid height of a person or slightly less.
This was kept in the backyard where there was a tap nearby and lots of clothing lines near too. This is where all our washing took place. In the evenings it used to be totally deserted and my father had installed an extra bright light for me to go there to study.
Recently when I was talking to my parents they were mentioning a pending visit of some relatives and were wondering to me how they would cope with guests and the rising prices of all items including our dear vegetables.
Dont get me wrong here. My parents are very hospitable and really nice but I could hear this at the back of the mind. Sometimes when parents get old , certain things put a greater strain on their day to day lives. As they get older they have a way of doing things and are settled comfortably into their routine.
Any visit from someone outside does have a lot to be accomodated. Father has to make sure there is more milk and then more supplies. Mother has to make sure meals are cooked more elaborate than before!
Trying to discuss the role of guests here too... Many coming from other parts of India have many plans and agenda to be done. Much of these are preplanned to. So mainly when they come they are almost always on their way again. So mother is left to handle even the washing. Ofcourse she would have help with her maid and even the washing machine .. but sometimes I wonder if it is a strain on elderly parents?
Hope someone would share their thoughts here..

Hi Chitra,

I totally agree with you. It is a strain to the senior citizens.

My parents are 75 and 81 respectively and when they have guests it does became a strain for them not just physically but financially too.

We normally tell them not to go for a very elaborate menu if people are staying with them for a few days. Also the neighbours are very good so they lend a helping hand. If there are more guests then they order the rotis from outside...they have some ladies around who do this from home.

Also some pre preparations are welcome...so they do and freeze it. And something can be bought from outside.

Lately we are telling them to use disposables so washing is less.

But i have seen lately that guests also try not to be a burden on their hosts.

Dear AC,

I could feel what you had explained. Till my teens mine was a joint family. Nearly 13-15 were there in the house. Amongst which my mom alone was the only lady doing all the cooking, wahing and cleaning stuff. Even my granny was working, since she had to travel all the way from Chetpet to Dindivanam she will start before 6.30, so my mom alone as to take care of everything. Only one teenage boy was a helping hand for my mom that too he will go and get things from the shop. Clean the vessels thats it. Any time we will have visitor in our house and has never stopped till this moment. We have a trust board and we take care of a mens hostel, free for students, not working men. So someone will keep on visiting my grandfather and my father. So my mom will have to be ready for anytime meal or snack.Atleast now my uncles and few are earning earlier just my granny, my father and grand father had to support financially.

Inspite of all these every relative or friend who had stayed in our house will always praise my mom and my family for treating them in a good manner.

i can really understand the position of your parents. They are really doing a great service. I wish god give them more prosperity.

Hi Chitra Mam,

What you told is 100% correct.. But here i have a different view from my personal expereince.. When ever i call my Grand parents, they are 65, 72.. My Grand ma tells now a days nobody are coming to our house..everybody is busy with their lives..They are coming to the town and seeing their work and returning to the same day.. not bothering to meet any of relatives in town.. In previous days who ever coming to town from village they will definetly drop at their house atleast just to say Namaste.. They are feeling so lonely because of that.. She tells only my mother and my uncle comes here no one else comes.. she is feeling very bad about that..

If you think about the price hikes, and the strain they have take to serve more people at their age i feel the same way as you.. but at the same time if no one is coming, they are feeling so lonely(my grand parents) as they are very much habituated with guests at home everytime..

regards,
ramyaganesh

Hi Dearest AC.
I had started feeling guilty suddenly......
During my last trip to India, my mom has to work a lot though we have a maid for dishes and cleaning.....but still before we reach, she has to sun dry all the blankets etc......did clean our rooms.....I heard this from my aunts and neighbour and felt so bad that she did all this for us kids.......
Even during my stay, when ever I asked to let me cook , she said lovingly that after a long time I got a chance to eat from her hand........I admit that she is the best cook and I am nothing in front of her but to give her slight releif I tried to do something......Then she will go every where we go for outing.......that was the only relaxation for her ........
Anyways, I will keep this in mind this time.
Thank you and regards.

Originally Posted by roopadadia

Hi Chitra,

I totally agree with you. It is a strain to the senior citizens.

My parents are 75 and 81 respectively and when they have guests it does became a strain for them not just physically but financially too.

We normally tell them not to go for a very elaborate menu if people are staying with them for a few days. Also the neighbours are very good so they lend a helping hand. If there are more guests then they order the rotis from outside...they have some ladies around who do this from home.

Also some pre preparations are welcome...so they do and freeze it. And something can be bought from outside.

Lately we are telling them to use disposables so washing is less.

But i have seen lately that guests also try not to be a burden on their hosts.

Roopa Dear
Thank you for your kind words.. Like you can see its diffcult on parents.. And your suggestions are good too.
Looking at the way prices have been rising sometimes I wonder how everyone manages..

Originally Posted by Cindhuja

Dear AC,

I could feel what you had explained. Till my teens mine was a joint family. Nearly 13-15 were there in the house. Amongst which my mom alone was the only lady doing all the cooking, wahing and cleaning stuff. Even my granny was working, since she had to travel all the way from Chetpet to Dindivanam she will start before 6.30, so my mom alone as to take care of everything. Only one teenage boy was a helping hand for my mom that too he will go and get things from the shop. Clean the vessels thats it. Any time we will have visitor in our house and has never stopped till this moment. We have a trust board and we take care of a mens hostel, free for students, not working men. So someone will keep on visiting my grandfather and my father. So my mom will have to be ready for anytime meal or snack.Atleast now my uncles and few are earning earlier just my granny, my father and grand father had to support financially.

Inspite of all these every relative or friend who had stayed in our house will always praise my mom and my family for treating them in a good manner.

i can really understand the position of your parents. They are really doing a great service. I wish god give them more prosperity.

Cindhuja dear
You have written so well dear.. I can see your parents are very noble and caring too.. maybe its our turn to worry about them:)

Originally Posted by ramyaganesh

Hi Chitra Mam,

What you told is 100% correct.. But here i have a different view from my personal expereince.. When ever i call my Grand parents, they are 65, 72.. My Grand ma tells now a days nobody are coming to our house..everybody is busy with their lives..They are coming to the town and seeing their work and returning to the same day.. not bothering to meet any of relatives in town.. In previous days who ever coming to town from village they will definetly drop at their house atleast just to say Namaste.. They are feeling so lonely because of that.. She tells only my mother and my uncle comes here no one else comes.. she is feeling very bad about that..

If you think about the price hikes, and the strain they have take to serve more people at their age i feel the same way as you.. but at the same time if no one is coming, they are feeling so lonely(my grand parents) as they are very much habituated with guests at home everytime..

regards,
ramyaganesh

Dear Ramya
Thanks for writing here.. I am very surprised to hear a different point than what I thought.. you are so right when you say its nice to have company when you get older.. Its also cheering and something for a change.. glad you wrote in:)

Originally Posted by Meeta

Hi Dearest AC.
I had started feeling guilty suddenly......
During my last trip to India, my mom has to work a lot though we have a maid for dishes and cleaning.....but still before we reach, she has to sun dry all the blankets etc......did clean our rooms.....I heard this from my aunts and neighbour and felt so bad that she did all this for us kids.......
Even during my stay, when ever I asked to let me cook , she said lovingly that after a long time I got a chance to eat from her hand........I admit that she is the best cook and I am nothing in front of her but to give her slight releif I tried to do something......Then she will go every where we go for outing.......that was the only relaxation for her ........
Anyways, I will keep this in mind this time.
Thank you and regards.

Meeta Dear
Like you say when we visit our parents are so happy that they goto all sorts of troubles.. Just wanted to share some thoughts on this actually.. Glad you got to spend time with your mother and she with you too:)

Hi AC,
Very true,...people who come as guests should do their share of work....that too if they stay longer than a day or two. and in these days of price hike, it will not harm them to pick some veggies or fruits and generally help around. That is the kind of response that is needed when they comne as guests....why should only the hosts have to be so burdened!
Hust today a friend of mine here was talking of this bossy cousin who landed from india for a week, and my friend had to take her al around and still cook different things, and this cousin was voicing her likes and dislikes too. And not to mention she made them hunt for some expensive stuff for her pet Dog and when they went out of the way trying to locate and buy, she ended up saying that it was too expensive. My friend was so stressed out. we are also getting older and want to entertain only when everything can be shared and appreciated. No one should be a burden on anyone!
Good topic....everyone should take notice!