I will do it MY way

hilarious.....LOL...dear AC, enjoyed the post very much and thought this is the only tradition that all Indian family follows no matter wherever we are, no matter how educated or illiterate we are. My DH's only duty is to move the trash bin (once in a week) to the front yard for the disposal truck. He is doing it because it is heavy for me. Otherwise he would have happily given up that responsibility as well to me. Earlier my kitchen was a separate room and i used to get bored being alone in the kitchen, so my only request to him was to 'visit' the kitchen once in a while, while I am cooking. I am assuming he considered it as 'waste of time' ('Assuming' it because he never talks). He is very 'practical'. Now our new house has the open style so that I do not feel that I am in the woods alone and now that I have my son often hanging on my clothes and pulling it when he wants a 'cookie' or a 'manaama' (banana). Expecting or requesting any help from hubby is truly a waste of time,waste of energy from my past attempts. So I do things that I can. Rest i just leave for the next day. I do ask for small chores such as to keep one dish in the fridge or get a glass of milk from the fridge etc. he does it immediately, but nothing big. I have resigned my job after my baby was born, considering and analyzing the amount of help that i have received from my hubby. I am happy with it except that I cannot often help my little sister and a few cousins when they needed little bit pocket money. Like many said here , i shall certainly teach my son to be independent and to take responsibility at each stage of his life. I read a book last week about '2 year olds development'. Here's how a mom try to make her son leaning to put on socks.They take turns."My turn with your socks",she said cheerfully as she put the socks on."Now it's your turn to pull them up". She always engineered the sharing so that her son finished the task.Gradually he assumes more responsibility for putting on clothes. I think sharing is very important. Have a wonderful day AC & all, Cheerful

Dear Cheerful
Like your id name you also come across as such!.. I also liked the manner in which you wrote so matter of factly than whiny tone!.. good job..
Sometimes I think its got to do with work pressures as well.. also remember how their mothers have pampered them.. but my inlaws when they lived both helped in the kitchen.. so dh does too.. the only thing is the my way.. or rather at my time.. they will get around to it slowly.. till then we either have to learn to live with some mess around or do the job ourselves.. good luck with your sweet kiddo:)

ha ha, AC,
that was hilarious ! i can imagine poor you on one side and the rest of the family taking up the other side...
well, i can't comment much on this, as i have a sudden cleaning spree a few hours a day when i spruce things up, but sometimes leave things around too....
but generally, as DM says, the kitchen is best when men don't come in !
i can keep any other place in order, but the closet is my worst nightmare ! i am always amazed at the speed at which it goes back to chaos, though there are only two of us ! though i have separate shelves and laundry baskets for the washed and unwashed clothes, my dh's t-shirts spring up all over the place, and i have a tough time deciding whether they are washed or to be washed....!
well....i don't know why people ask home makers "you don't work ?" if keeping a house in order all the time isn't work, what is ?!

Funny one AC! Loved reading everyone's FB too. We all are together in this, I guess! For good for or for bad!

Until a year ago I used to be very finicky about organizing, cleanliness etc. I think I still am but have "controlled" myself a lot. With a 2 year old at home I need all the patience and energy I can have so I try not to spend it in other things.

My husband always complained to me earlier that I enforced "military discipline" in the house. Just asking for things to be kept in their right place as soon as you let go of it from your hands, was military discipline to hubby dear. So I have eased a lot. Sometimes I cannot believe I am the same person I was couple of years ago - neither can my husband believe it!

The other week, hubby dear was busy with "stuff" so dishes kept piling in the sink for 2 days (he is supposed to do the dishes after dinner). The third day, the dirty dishes overflowed to a fourth of the kitchen counter, the fourth day they were stinking and I had almost no vessels left to cook! So, what did I do? Nope, I did NOT clean them. We just went out and ate and I lovingly told hubby, "Don't worry dear. We are both busy so we’ll get to the dishes when we can"! That night hubby set an alarm for 5 am next morning, promptly got up at 5 and cleaned up the entire sink! Woo Hooo! I was so proud of myself

I woke up an hour later, made him a nice cuppa and told him that while I really appreciate him doing it, I feel bad that he had to wake up early morning just to clean.

Mean, mean me!

If it were two years ago, I would've done the dishes the second day and would've exploded on hubby dear for not keeping his side of the bargain, may be my bad mood would've trickled down to the kids too and I would've ended up shouting at them for nothing. None of this now.

I guess I am much smarter.... or may be I am much meaner now? I'll accept whatever verdict you ladies pronounce for me!

SS

Originally Posted by sowparnika

ha ha, AC,
that was hilarious ! i can imagine poor you on one side and the rest of the family taking up the other side...
well, i can't comment much on this, as i have a sudden cleaning spree a few hours a day when i spruce things up, but sometimes leave things around too....
but generally, as DM says, the kitchen is best when men don't come in !
i can keep any other place in order, but the closet is my worst nightmare ! i am always amazed at the speed at which it goes back to chaos, though there are only two of us ! though i have separate shelves and laundry baskets for the washed and unwashed clothes, my dh's t-shirts spring up all over the place, and i have a tough time deciding whether they are washed or to be washed....!
well....i don't know why people ask home makers "you don't work ?" if keeping a house in order all the time isn't work, what is ?!

Dear Sowpar
You are really funny and you are so nice and come out best in humor!
I agree with you about how quickly everything can go into chaos!.. one point where i disagree with you.. is men in the kitchen.. its so much better when they cook and tastes yummier too:) tried and tested so do trust me! keep writin my friend you rock!

Originally Posted by soaringspirit

Funny one AC! Loved reading everyone's FB too. We all are together in this, I guess! For good for or for bad!

Until a year ago I used to be very finicky about organizing, cleanliness etc. I think I still am but have "controlled" myself a lot. With a 2 year old at home I need all the patience and energy I can have so I try not to spend it in other things.

My husband always complained to me earlier that I enforced "military discipline" in the house. Just asking for things to be kept in their right place as soon as you let go of it from your hands, was military discipline to hubby dear. So I have eased a lot. Sometimes I cannot believe I am the same person I was couple of years ago - neither can my husband believe it!

The other week, hubby dear was busy with "stuff" so dishes kept piling in the sink for 2 days (he is supposed to do the dishes after dinner). The third day, the dirty dishes overflowed to a fourth of the kitchen counter, the fourth day they were stinking and I had almost no vessels left to cook! So, what did I do? Nope, I did NOT clean them. We just went out and ate and I lovingly told hubby, "Don't worry dear. We are both busy so we’ll get to the dishes when we can"! That night hubby set an alarm for 5 am next morning, promptly got up at 5 and cleaned up the entire sink! Woo Hooo! I was so proud of myself

I woke up an hour later, made him a nice cuppa and told him that while I really appreciate him doing it, I feel bad that he had to wake up early morning just to clean.

Mean, mean me!

If it were two years ago, I would've done the dishes the second day and would've exploded on hubby dear for not keeping his side of the bargain, may be my bad mood would've trickled down to the kids too and I would've ended up shouting at them for nothing. None of this now.

I guess I am much smarter.... or may be I am much meaner now? I'll accept whatever verdict you ladies pronounce for me!

SS

Oh my dearie SS.. you are one schweeite cutiee and meanie I must add:)
I can hear you with the little one in tow.. wonder how you do it all and still write incredible replies too... I agree with you onhow they come around and get it done.. yesterday just left everything as is and went for a walk.. spotless kitchen me walked back into Way to go girl! Lets Soarrrrrrrrrrrrrrr:)

Dear AC,
After 48 years of married life, after retirement, now I have succeeded in getting help from my dear hubby. But I can't put the blame on him.Being the only son, my mil was always with us, until she departed from this world. She used to tell me, that I should not disturb him and let him sleep even when a child was sick because he had to go to the office in the morning.Normally mohers did not like their sons to do household cores in olden days. But nowadays the trend is slowly changing. In most of my relatives families where both husband and wife are working, men do help
You have your style of writing which creates ripples of laughter.Keep it up to cheer us all,
Love,
PS

HI,

Read your post. really funny. but i can relate to it very well. i'm a mom and a wife. if my husband and son had their way, the house would look like a pig sty and neighbours would begin to complain about bad smell. i think you should brace yourself and let them have it their way. just wash your clothes and dishes and let their dirty ones pile up. one day when your husband or son needs a particulat shirt or pant and don't find it anywhere...they will understand and value of doing things the right way.

but i have to admit that i have n't been able to practice what i preach!! but try it and show us women the way.

kanchana

Dear Pushpavalli
I have heard that no disturb story before:).. My mil whatever she might have been thinking never interfered in my marraige and for that I was always grateful.
My late father inlaw always did all the house work and towards the end he did everything.. that actually sets an example in the house and so my husband has always helped.. I try and spin a little humor and write so as to enjoy the experience of writing.. I am glad you like it :)

Originally Posted by kaybee

HI,

Read your post. really funny. but i can relate to it very well. i'm a mom and a wife. if my husband and son had their way, the house would look like a pig sty and neighbours would begin to complain about bad smell. i think you should brace yourself and let them have it their way. just wash your clothes and dishes and let their dirty ones pile up. one day when your husband or son needs a particulat shirt or pant and don't find it anywhere...they will understand and value of doing things the right way.

but i have to admit that i have n't been able to practice what i preach!! but try it and show us women the way.

kanchana

Kanchana
You also write well! I will give it my best shot and try:)
I still feel that if kids are trained young then it would be so much better when they grow up. Also assigning specific tasks for family members help too:)