How loving can our mothe's-in law be

Is blood is thicker than water always? My experience in life says the water allows the blood to flow smoothly. So is our realtion with our mother-in laws.

Just as we find difficult to identify ourselves with their family so also it takes time and patientnce to convince them of our sincerity.

To date she has been a sweet thing- A bundle of all heavenly qualities one can ascirbe. The transition was so smooth I hardly realised that I was in another house.

I discuss all casual and confidential affairs with her. Believe me she comes out with an amicable solution which would not damage any one of us. Sometimes she cannot avoid little damages for which we are ready to pay the demerrage!.

She cooks well and feeds all of us. taking into consideration each one's taste. She plays cool when we throw tantrums. Hope my member friends too will have some experiences to share with me/ Let us talk how good or bad can our husband's mother be. Kanaka

I should say....."You are soo lucky"

Dear Kanaka,

I have a similar relation with my In laws.When im with them i dont feel like an outsider, i gelled very well with all if them. But then i feel the liberties you take at mothers place are much more. So you sometimes tend to miss those.

Good topic Kanaka, as usual!!

Love,
Devika

Hi Kanaka
According to me all MIL's are good but there are some circumstance which makes them nasty.
As a person my MIL is really very good but somewhere in her brain it is been put that as she is been tortured by her MIL so even I should do the same.
I even asked her once why are you always unhappy in whatever we do, without think she suddenly answered my MIL did the same to me. So from that day I started looking at her in a different angle.
Yes she will never leave an opportunity to hurt me but now I take it smiling. I call her hitler too. But my other in laws just smile. Which has been reduced now. As time flies things change.
But over all she is very loving and caring person, but I can't change this behavior of hers

Dear Kanaka M'am,

My mother-in-law has struggled alot in her life and still seeing her daughters struggling in their Marraige life, she feels worried and can't face it to anyone ... so she shows her anger, worries, tears everything towards me ... It takes and took some days, months and years for me to understand her now and always ...

Dear Aruna Rc

All said and done their bitter experiences lay everlasting impressions in their minds. So also women who loose their husbands at an early age. Thier strggle makes them more possessive.

My sister-in-law's husband(lost his father at a very early age) tackled the situation in a different way. He would not interact with his wife in mother from day one. Seeing this she called my BIL and said "Don't forget now you are a maried person. It's for you to keep her happy. It seems he winked at my SIl and behaved as if he is doing things for his mother's sake.

Innocent lady forced my SIL's husband to take her out. I believe the moment they left the house he used to be very romantic with her.He didn't allow insecurity or jealousy or posessiveness to have its way with the mother. kanaka

Dear Vanju,

Thanks. Let you lead a Happy life. kanaka

Dear Devika,

I know how attached you are to your mother. You won't let he go anywhere from Dombivli. Read how SIL's husband tackled the normal MIL SIL problems. kanaka

Dear Kanaka
Your SIL looks to be a very smart lady. But I have my FIL who is gem of a person. My other in laws too are very nice. My DH was away from parents much before getting married with me. It is not only with me i have other younger SIL's she behaves with them too the same. so we all take it very lightly.

Originally Posted by kanaka

Dear Aruna Rc

All said and done their bitter experiences lay everlasting impressions in their minds. So also women who loose their husbands at an early age. Thier strggle makes them more possessive.

My sister-in-law's husband(lost his father at a very early age) tackled the situation in a different way. He would not interact with his wife in mother from day one. Seeing this she called my BIL and said "Don't forget now you are a maried person. It's for you to keep her happy. It seems he winked at my SIl and behaved as if he is doing things for his mother's sake.

Innocent lady forced my SIL's husband to take her out. I believe the moment they left the house he used to be very romantic with her.He didn't allow insecurity or jealousy or posessiveness to have its way with the mother. kanaka

Dear Kanaka, looking at the gem of my husband - I cannot but Thank and adore my MIL, FIL and SILs. They had a part in making my hubby what he is now - atleast a huge part of him. And knowing all their stories of hardships, emotions, circumstances, growing up along with their fun attitude and what ever maturity they have - I consider them normal and good people.

BUT..here is where the 'problemo' arises - They love their only brother/son and I LOVE ;) my only hubby. They are too possesive and took this whole thing to a point of annoying with their comments and critisisms towards me. That breaks the straw - Now I don't care what the hell they think about anything, I will do what I think is right and basically being the wonderful and good person I am (Sorry too much self praise - but thats true), I will do my duty as a DIL of that family and nothing more than that.

Infact I know my MIL is proud of me for my education, my good personality (She thinks I am short tempered etc..but who cares) and she knows how much her son is being loved (I hope she is happy about that rather than feeling bad like my SILs).

So...finally..all I can say is..The LOVE is there, it just doesn't show (And one thing I think the reason is, is the physical distance between us. Since we are far away and don't talk that often, we build our own stories about others. If we were living close by, I am sure we would have fought more, but we would understood eachother more too. And in the corner of my heart somewhere, I somehow know that my MIL loves me...