Sarojaaa....

Dear Brindha,
A touching story indeed.I loved your narration style & the moral of the story.keep writing...

love,
ammu

Dear Brindhaji,

Another lovely story. Cannot imagine how cruel people can be. In this case the women could empathise more but no.

What is the use of charity when the living God at home is insulted & made to undergo all sorts of torture?

I loved your last line. Service to mankind is service to God.

Keep it up!

Regards,

Corallux

Hi Brinda, nice story! Good writing. The way you wrote, I can see the story clearly in front of my eyes. The way you introduced the fact that Saroja is equally pregnant as Malini is really good and surprised me. I know this story strengthens the ‘Karma’ Theory..but…

The amateur storywriter in me is pushing me to ask why Malini has to suffer the unbearable fact of a retarded child? Isn’t God the merciful! Somehow for me it is too harsh of a treatment. May be the story (or the writer – that’s you) should have given a simpler punishment to Janaki, Malini and Malini’s new born.

I’d finish the story like below, if I may. (Please note that this is not to come as a competition or question your wonderful writing. It is just another perspective, another way that the story could end less painfully..). I am scared that I’d be pelted with harsh comments for interfering here. But if you just take it as a friendly discussion, here is what I wrote..

Malini gave birth to a beautiful baby in a big hospital’s AC surgery room. The baby was weak and born with low birth weight and was kept in an incubator.

Saroja had an adorable chubby baby in between a wall of curtains in a Government hospital’s Maternity ward. While Saroja held her energetically crying baby on her chest with trembling hands, Janaki was in tears torn between her unconscious and weak daughter and her grand child who was lying still in the tangle of tubes in the incubator and had not cried yet.

The midwife left immediately after cleaning and wrapping the baby in one of Saroja’s cotton sarees. Saroja exactly knew what to do when the baby started crying that evening. With a natural ease she took the baby who was sucking her wrist loudly to the breast and in no time the baby latched on and started to do what every baby does the best!

Malini regained conscious. Later that day, the pediatrician came in along with a lactation consultant to have the baby (who was out of the incubator by this time) to get started on feeding. They tried many ways, but neither the mother had any milk nor the baby could latch on. After many attempts, the doctor recommended formula. All night and all day next day, Janaki sat to feed the baby few ounces of formula. In the early hours next day, the baby had diarrhea and severe rashes all over. The emergency doctor came in to check and declared that the baby is allergic to any formula. They tried diluted cow milk, but that didn’t work. The already low weight baby has lost a pound in 3 days. The situation is turning grave. They consulted the best pediatrician in town and he sighed and said, “this baby can take only mother’s milk. Any other substitute is absolutely useless and harmful for this baby”!

Janaki got off the car in front of their bungalow, with her grandchild and her depressed daughter and collapsed in the sofa. Saroja came back to work that day and she brought along her 5-year-old niece to hold the baby while she worked and fed the baby once in few hours. Janaki and Malini entered the house and looked at Saroja and looked at each other. They both knew what they wanted. They both knew what they did. They both didn’t know what would happen. Janaki slowly asked Saroja if she could feed her grandchild. Saroja was shocked to hear about Malini and her baby and wept. She gladly agreed to feed the baby. Janaki handed the baby over and Saroja carefully took the baby and put her behind her Saree’s pallu. It felt nothing different for her, but the baby suckled on as if it had been just born..

Malini wiped her tears, got off the sofa and walked past her mom towards the kitchen to get some juice for Saroja……

Thanks Brinda. I hope you don't mind my meddling here with your story.
Optimistically yours,

Hi Brindha,

A wonderful narration from you as expected ! I was surprised to learn that Saroja was pregnant too in the middle of the story !

What is the use of praying God, if you can't treat another person as a human being?

One needling fact was the birth of the mentally challenged baby...why should the baby be punished ? Feel sorry for the baby...

On the whole, an awesome write up and keep posting more of your stories...!

Cheers
Krithika

Hi Venus,

...I was in tears when I read your version......

Especially loved these lines...and could not read thru my blurred vision (due to the tears)
Malini wiped her tears, got off the sofa and walked past her mom towards the kitchen to get some juice for Saroja……

Absolutely wonderful conclusion for a marvelous story penned by Brindha !

Kudos to both of you !!

Cheers
Krithika

Originally Posted by Venonimiss

Hi Brinda, nice story! Good writing. The way you wrote, I can see the story clearly in front of my eyes. The way you introduced the fact that Saroja is equally pregnant as Malini is really good and surprised me. I know this story strengthens the ‘Karma’ Theory..but…

The amateur storywriter in me is pushing me to ask why Malini has to suffer the unbearable fact of a retarded child? Isn’t God the merciful! Somehow for me it is too harsh of a treatment. May be the story (or the writer – that’s you) should have given a simpler punishment to Janaki, Malini and Malini’s new born.

I’d finish the story like below, if I may. (Please note that this is not to come as a competition or question your wonderful writing. It is just another perspective, another way that the story could end less painfully..). I am scared that I’d be pelted with harsh comments for interfering here. But if you just take it as a friendly discussion, here is what I wrote..

Malini gave birth to a beautiful baby in a big hospital’s AC surgery room. The baby was weak and born with low birth weight and was kept in an incubator.

Saroja had an adorable chubby baby in between a wall of curtains in a Government hospital’s Maternity ward. While Saroja held her energetically crying baby on her chest with trembling hands, Janaki was in tears torn between her unconscious and weak daughter and her grand child who was lying still in the tangle of tubes in the incubator and had not cried yet.

The midwife left immediately after cleaning and wrapping the baby in one of Saroja’s cotton sarees. Saroja exactly knew what to do when the baby started crying that evening. With a natural ease she took the baby who was sucking her wrist loudly to the breast and in no time the baby latched on and started to do what every baby does the best!

Malini regained conscious. Later that day, the pediatrician came in along with a lactation consultant to have the baby (who was out of the incubator by this time) to get started on feeding. They tried many ways, but neither the mother had any milk nor the baby could latch on. After many attempts, the doctor recommended formula. All night and all day next day, Janaki sat to feed the baby few ounces of formula. In the early hours next day, the baby had diarrhea and severe rashes all over. The emergency doctor came in to check and declared that the baby is allergic to any formula. They tried diluted cow milk, but that didn’t work. The already low weight baby has lost a pound in 3 days. The situation is turning grave. They consulted the best pediatrician in town and he sighed and said, “this baby can take only mother’s milk. Any other substitute is absolutely useless and harmful for this baby”!

Janaki got off the car in front of their bungalow, with her grandchild and her depressed daughter and collapsed in the sofa. Saroja came back to work that day and she brought along her 5-year-old niece to hold the baby while she worked and fed the baby once in few hours. Janaki and Malini entered the house and looked at Saroja and looked at each other. They both knew what they wanted. They both knew what they did. They both didn’t know what would happen. Janaki slowly asked Saroja if she could feed her grandchild. Saroja was shocked to hear about Malini and her baby and wept. She gladly agreed to feed the baby. Janaki handed the baby over and Saroja carefully took the baby and put her behind her Saree’s pallu. It felt nothing different for her, but the baby suckled on as if it had been just born..

Malini wiped her tears, got off the sofa and walked past her mom towards the kitchen to get some juice for Saroja……

Thanks Brinda. I hope you don't mind my meddling here with your story.
Optimistically yours,

Hi

i really like this story...keep it up.........

Originally Posted by lalitha shivaguru

Dear Brindha,

A very nice and simple story well told. Kudos to you.

"What we sow, we reap" most of us forget that and behave so inhumanely not thinking the law of nature will strike at us more severely.

Keep more coming dear.

Dear Lalitha,
Thanx a lot for reading the story and writing a feedback.. Some people sometimes ,somewhere are like this.

Love
Brindha..

Originally Posted by dream.girl

Dear Brindha,

I was really surprised :?at the half way of the stoary that saroja is also pregnent, and how come people do this to a Preganent lady being her own daughter pregnent with out humanity. :bullshitEven though its a story I felt very touched.Thanq for thiss nice post and I liked ur last line "But god know what to do" .

Hugs,
dg.

Dear Dg...
Thanx for reading the story...Im glad you like it...And thankyou for your lovely feedback..

Love
Brindha..

Originally Posted by pavithrasriram

hi brindha,
you have kept up your promise!!!!yet another great post from you!!!
really touching story!!!!
continue your good work!!!!
best wishes
pavi

Dear Pavi...
Thanx for reading dear.....Im glad to read your feedback.. Surely I ll try writing more....

Love
Brindha..

Originally Posted by roopadadia

Hi brindha,

You have very well brought out the difference between the rich and the poor.

Both of them were at the same stage of pregnancy...but alas.

"bhagwan ke ghar mein der hain andher nahin"

Roopa.

Dear Roopa...
Thanx for reading the story dear.....The difference between the rich and poor is exisiitng from a small child to grown ups..this harsh reality dear..

Thanx for your feedback.
Love
Brindha..