Homemakers and Working Women

Originally Posted by Srama

Kamalji,

I am actually itching to write, I couldn't stop myself and this may not be answers to your 5 points. I am home maker by choice after kids who was working before kids and I really do not want to debate on either sides. What is forcing me to write is no where in either of the two sections does any one speak of intellectual stimulation and life lessons - isn't that very important for the very upbringing of a child and to make him/her a better human being so that he/she can pass it on and a better society evolves? Why does education always gets value (translates to money) only when money is involved? Education is not supposed to just serve that purpose. If that were so, why do we have languages, arts and literature as part of any curriculum? One has to understand that each and every mother does her best for her child in her capacity and the choices she makes are hers and could be deliberate or incidental. Just because you don't work doesn't mean you don't raise confident kids and vice versa. The way a child turns out cannot be totally blamed on one parent - because I do personally agree that it is the responsibilty of both the parents in cohesion with so many other factors that play a role, for raising a child into a good human being.
I have known a lot of people where dad stays home to take care, moms are home makers both by choice and because of lack of support/help, some moms work and retire when the kids are teens because they think the kids need them the most then and then there are many moms who take 3-4 years break and then resume and ofcourse I have known stay at home moms/working moms all their lives with kids in their mid 20s now who have never regretted their decisions.

I am trying to get back to work now and the only reason I am hesitating is - I want my kids to enjoy holidays and summer breaks, they become more important when you are staying away from family and don't get hoidays to celebrate festivals etc, it is a different scenario if a joint family concept is intact along with the nuclear families. The kids might love going to daycares but how will they know that there is another choice if they are not even exposed to it? But then that's my outlook and my own personal situation.

Finally, the way a child turns doesnot depend on whether one parent was working or both were - so many factors are involved as we all understand. It is totally unfair to blame one parent, no doubt about that. And yes this is one debate which can never be settled one way or the other.

And Thanks to you, I got to put in my two cents.

Dear S Rama.

Sorry for thelate reply.You have put things in very good perspective.I personally respect Homemakers as much as working women, sometimes more , bcs maybe my wife is a homemaker by choice.

Agree with u that it is the responsibility of both partners in the upbringing of the child.But the husband , if he is the sole andmajor earner, then he needs the support of his wife in bring up the children well, with love and care.These days jobs are not the typical 10 to 6, with targets, there is no time.

But I have seen many women, whose husbands are doing very well, they living in luxury, husband traveling all around the world for business, with hardly a week in town, and the other 3 weeks traveling, they just want their wives to take care of the children and be good homemakers.But some women like these, want to work, because their argument is what have we studied for ? As u righly said, education is not only to be translated in to money .I say this having seen many such couples from close quarters , some in the family.

Thank u for yr wonderful and intelligent comments.Regards.kamal

Originally Posted by GayathriSundar

Hi Kamalji,
I have been reading your posts for some time now... this is my first feedback.

In the opening post of this thread you wrote

Continuing the above "logic" I am tempted to ask "Why should women get married in the first place?"

We as a society have changed how we bring up girls... but not how we bring up boys. Indian men remain "boys" long after they get married... They seem to be raised thinking that being a "bread winner" (in many cases not even the sole bread winner) is enough!!!!


Gayathri

Dear Gayatri,

Welcome to my blog.Just I would request u to comment on my blogs, or is it that u dontlike my humourous blogs ? This is a rare blog without a humour thing in it.


You have said something very nice.That men think they will remain boys all their lives, without responsibilities, when they are not the sole breadearners.True , very true.We menmust learn to share the burden with our wives, just as they too do, when we don’t earn well, they too go to work.

Yes and I agree too, to yr point, that why should women marry in the first place.True.If career is more important, by all means pursue it, be better than a man.Give value to yr company for the money u receive.

But if u bring kids in the world do justice to them too.And leaving them in the custodyof Maids, or cretches, well is not my idea of justice.

Thanks and looking forward to moer of yr comments.Regards.kamal

Originally Posted by roopadadia

Yes Kamalji, there are so many parents who neglect their kids or maybe for them and their society its a fad to keep the kids with ayahs and nannies while they go their own way.

And it is not necessarily that these are working parents. But they are more interested in their so called friends and parties etc. Even couple exchange program.

What do you expect the kids to learn from such parents and theier so called guardians.

I also know of kids who say that it was you who wanted us we didn't say bring us in this world. So now why crib if we ask for some of your attention.

i am much younger to you and learning a lot from your blogs...what i have written here is just what is see around me.

Thanks
Roopa.

Dear Roopa,

Wonderful .I missed these points when i wrote the blog.

Yes lots of kitty prty ladies who are whiole day at clubs, going morning and coming at night.Ive seen that.

You are younger to me no doubt, but wiser too.Great one well said.Regards.kamal