free bird

Dear Kamalji,

Your upbeat spirit is surely infectious! Nice to read that you have kept yourself happily and "freely" occupied! You are a free bird yet occupied by your hobbies, by your likings. Very nice.

Well, although we can all look at you with envy (because we are still bound by responsibilties that need to be fulfilled), I must say that it is because you live your retired life well, that we feel so envious. I must say that it is greatly to your credit that you have not let this freedom turn into boredom or into a constant lamenting about the past active work life you once had. It takes a lot of "zindaadili" to live a happy life after your responsibilities are over and to find a new meaning to your life in this phase.

The empty nest syndrome coupled with slowing down of work is not something everyone can take positively. Some like you, treat this as an opportunity to do the things you always loved to do but could not do earlier or to discover latent hobbies and talents within you and redefine yourself. Others, as I sometimes see, keep questioning about what is their "use" in this world now that they have fulfilled all their duties. What more is left to do? They sort of have a sad outlook about it - the loneliness, the emptiness - it looks dark to them.

I am glad to read that you are the upbeat ones. Well, we all know that about you! My parents are like that too. I admire this spirit.

Although, like AC rightly said, there are some people who just cannot live without a consistent routine. They don't know what else to do. For such people, it is probably better to keep busy in a job or some sort of a forced routine because that is what keeps them going. It is similar to what Lata Mangeshkar once said when asked why she does not quit singing now that her voice is giving-up? Her answer was - "This is what I have done all my life, I don't know what I should do if not sing".

Anyway. Nice to read all the FBs too. Everyone comes with a different perspective and that's what makes the reading all the more interesting.

SS

Originally Posted by Kamalji

I am a Free Bird

My friend Chandu, who walks with me every morning, has been missing for the last one month.He took VRS around 5 years back from a Nationalized Bank,and living a nice cosy life with his wife, son,Bahu and grandchildren.


He went to Delhi for a month’s training.Seems some finance company, is hiring retired Govt Bankers, who are expierenced too, for a Desk job in Jaipur, for around 20,000 a month.Time 9 to 6, it’s a desk based job, and u are in charge of a team, which moves around town.


Chandu is a good listener, and a great shayair,so walking with him brushes up my blogs.Most of the credit of my blogs goes to him.He is my sounding board, and his inputs are precious.Seems he was getting bored sitting at home, as was asking me, what to do in life.


I asked him just one question.Are u financially comfortable,he said yes.Then why do u want to work, he said I am getting bored.Now it seems they have removed the Tata Sky connection too, as the grandson would waste time watching Cable.this means he too cant watch it, and hence he is bored.Plus the guy dosnt want to spend on a broadband like me, so cant blog and pass his time .


Even I am more or less retired, and I am financially comfortable.But I don’t feel bored, in fact I am having the best time of my life.I am answerable to no one in life,I can go wherever I want, blog, read, watch movies,go take a walk literally, and pick up the phone and talk to anyone for 1/- a minute, without feeling the pinch, if this is not heaven , then what is ?


Chandu and me have done our duties in life, slogged for more than 30 years,got children married, and fulfilled most of our duties, is it not the time to slow down, and take it easy.This is the time when u leave town, and go for a month anywhere, without having to call yr office to enquire what is happening.


There are people who say, we want to give quality time to our children, I say I have all the time in the world to make my life a quality life.So why go in again for work, when I have just managed to get free from it.Is work all there is to life ? Work means being tied by time to go to office, to have lunch etc.


I am a free bird today.I don’t have to tell anyone what I have to do.I can sit whole day and goof away, read blogs, listen to music while reading, having a nice cup of tea next to me,AC on,if this is not heaven what is my friend ?


And I am making a lot of Blogger Friends too.Yesterday I spoke to a new blogger and it was heaven.And next week I am going to meet quite a few new bloggers in Mumbai.


Chandu, man I pity u.You are bound to a yolk called Work..And I am a free Bird.


KAMAL MAHTANI

very true kamalji,
priorities are more important, than slogging without any aim, i wonder why rich people are even more crazy to amass wealth, imagine all those politicians being caught with crores if only they could had spread their wealth they would be healthy in mind and presence among people and need not even go to canvass for votes it would follow..sunkan

Originally Posted by Arunarc

Nice to see Kamalji and Roopaji both enjoying the retired life............
What a housewife like me should say..............
whole life retirement.................no idea. But I keep myself busy with many many things...........and in that one is writting fbs..............
That was a great write up free bird.........I am happy with whatever I do, no one to pinpoint at you enjoying my life at the fullest.

Dear Aruna,

Glad to know u are enjoying life.Being educated and a housewife, is a boon really.I have great respect for housewives, my wife is one.and blogging must be one great time pass for u aruna,and watching the Saas Bahu Serials too.We men prefer the IPL,Cricket and the cheerful cheerleaders.HAHA.Regards.kamal

Originally Posted by BhargaviChakravarthy

Dear kamal M sir,
What you said is right.Work when you want to work,sleep when you want to sleep.We must allocate our time for everything.What you have decided is also right.Now you are a free bird.But still ,you are spending your time qualitatively.There you are!!
I often wonder why people fail to maintain a balance in life.They go either down or up.We must strike a balance between the two extremes.Either they are too workaholic or they are lazy.Life becomes easy if we have a neutralised approach towards it.
About your friend,in his house,the cable connection was temporarily disconnected for the sake of his grand son,a single person.I personally feel this is not needed because we must consider each and everybody in the house.We cannot take a decision without keeping in mind ,the requirements of each and every member in the family.This is what i personally feel.Because at the age of sixty or more,a person cannot have much diversions rather then televison,internet(which every one is not aware),temples etc.Please excuse me if i have stated anything wrong.

Thanks for sharing an enjoyable piece.
BC

Dear Bhargavi,


You have said well.At this age of 60 or so, u don’t have too many other options, but TV, internet, and temples.One must k now how to pass the 10 am to 8 pm time,and if u cut off Cable, and don’t blog,. Then what does one do ?

I agree with u that a senior citizen must have a balance approach to life, my frind wants to work, for money or to pass time, only he knows, fine.

I would like to not work, and find ways to pass my time, and for me blogging is a very creative way.and with such nice readers as I Lites, with their intelligent comments, what more can I ask for.

Well said.Regards.kamal

Originally Posted by Sriniketan

Kamalji,
You had echoed the words of my grandpa, who said...".I am waiting for my retirement days and I won't work after that and will enjoy life...he is a Prinicipal in a Phy.Ed. college... we had quality time with him for sure...
As Aruna pointed out, do Housewives have any retirement....

sriniketan

Dear Sri,

I must meet yr Grandpa.He and me think alike.Housewives sure do have a great time.Kids study on their own,and these days Internet gives them all the answers to questions that plague them in studies.


And If u can afford good household help, as a housewife, u can have a great time, why not.Read, write, comment, blog, watch movies, go to a mall with friends, so much to do to enjoy.Talking has become so cheap these days.So many ways.


Regards.kamal

Kamalji work is what we enjoy doing. That includes blogging. As long as one doesn't have financial worries one doesn't have to work for earning. May be your friend Chandu enjoys the kind of work he did at the bank.

Originally Posted by anandchitra

Dear Kamal
Very well written blog.. so correctly said about Free Bird. It is my experience that retirement is not for all. My late father in law was a very good example. Even after he retired from active work he found a job at a shop where he had to go from 9 - 1 and then 4-8.. more like front manager kind of person. He was a complete peoples person so he loved to go there and meet so many new people.. and chat.. many of our relatives too stopped there for a chat and had tea wit his as it was a central shopping area.. My FIL would always get up early .. start the day chanting various religious verses.. then would have coffee.. come to the kitchen to help.. eat and leave.. Always drove a cycle.. till the day he died.. During his last few years, he took over kitchen completely.. since MIL had arthtris and could not cook.. he also went for a smaller part time job. I think his need was more to meet people . To me he lived a full life.. Whereas my father is retired. has his own routine and hobbies and visits his kids whenever he feels like it... So I know for sure retirement is not for all.. but if you can enjoy thats fine too:) Its good you have creative outlets!.. Have a nice one!

Dear Chitra,

Well said. Old Age, Retirement and Death are 3 things that cant be avoided.And most people don’t want to even talk about it, for reasons best known to them.


Your FIL did well , to work and keep himself busy and a great thing by him to help yr MIL in the kitchen.Superb..As did ur father, by retiring and visiting his children as often as he could.

Everyone has their own views.I speak for myself, I do not want to be bound down by work, taxes, payments, and all that, which I have been doing for more than 30 years.


When I started to work, I did not own a house, nor a wife and family, and did not have a bank balance to call my own.Today by Gods grace, I am comfortable and happy,and I don’t need to work, to survive.And I don’t have any installments to pay too.All that we have is ours.

So why would I want to work, for whom ? I don’t have sons to leave behind an empire, me and wife have enough, a roof and some money to survive.And I have so many interests these days.

Chitra all these new developments of internet and malls, the progress is good for a guy like me.Sometimes I feel bored, so I and wife just take the car and go to a Mall, where she shops for veggies and etc, while I roam in the shops, looking at merchandise, and eating a sandwitch and the time pass is good, in AC comfort.Cheap and good.


I guess it depends on what u find happiness in, and my happiness does not cost much.I don’t need cruises on ships, overseas trips,or treats in 5 stars.Im happy in blogging, a Dosa in an ordinary restaurant, and a hot cup of tea or coffee, and that’s it.

Regards,kamal

Originally Posted by nivedi

Hi Kamalji,

Some folks may not know how to spend their time after retirement. My dad's brother, a bachelor till his end, lived with us in India. His work life gave him no time to pursue any interests - that seems normal in most people's lives. After he retired, he simply did not understand what he should be doing with his time. He would always be eves dropping into the conversation between me and my cousin sister or between my cousin and my mother. Sometimes he would mis-understand things and he simply ruined his time. 2 years into retirement and he was a man with a muddled mind.

Atleast your friend will not be wasting his time, if he does not have any other interests. A small thing like going for a walk can change people's lives. They may meet someone of their age and make friends.

Glad to hear that you are busy with your hobbies and interests.

Dear Nivedi,

Well said.Yr uncle , well many people like him disintegrate in their later years, a thing I want to avoid.So I keep mentally happy and busy.And walks are a must, I agree, I have made so many friends.


I have so many walker friends, and they wait for me, bcs I can be a very juicy storyteller,and with so may topics to discuss, like cricket and the cheerleaders to name a few, the Arushi Murder case etc.And we get so busy talking that we go for long walks without realizing that we have overwalked bcs of the talks.

So Kamalji can bore u with his blogs and bore the walkers as well.HAHA.Regards.kamal

Originally Posted by Mindian

Dear kamalji,

good post..glad u are enjoying your freedom...I too always say that I value the freedom in my life the best...luckily have got it from both parents and hubby dear...I have worked when i wanted to..given it up when i had my kid..again took up a part time when she was grown up and now i find it would be imopossible to go back to a full time job so am enjoying myself with my cooking,trying out new recipes for DH and me,books,music,internet...and generally having a good time...I might not have had a great career but my life has been great ...touch wood...But not everybody has this laidback attitude..they have to be DOING something always...to each his own...but i feel very bad for grandparents who have to give up the cable and tv for their grandchildren who are suppossed to be studying...sad they dont have the freedom even in that age...isnt it ...
Mindi

Dear Mindi,


Very true, I agree with ever word u say.

You are lucky,Career is not everything, home and family too is important for a lady.And there is nothing more honourable than an educated housewife,I know many would disagree, but I am not here for arguments.

And yes I have too seen grandparents looking after their grandchildren while their son and DIL go for work.I find that very say, and I have seen quiote a few such cases in the neighbourhood.

Regards.kamal

Originally Posted by Balajee

Kamalji work is what we enjoy doing. That includes blogging. As long as one doesn't have financial worries one doesn't have to work for earning. May be your friend Chandu enjoys the kind of work he did at the bank.

Dear Mr.Balajee,

How true.I enjoy blogging and no one to tellme u are missing work for it.HAHA.

Yes i dont have to work for earningmoney.I was more than prudent to save some for the rainy day, which has come today.

Yes Chandu must be enjoying his new work, i havnt met him, let me talk to him, he got work on Tuesday in jaipur.

Thanks and regards.kamal