Days following after the D-day(Retirement)!

Blessed are the people who lead a happy and comfortable life afte this day.(retirement). I have seen the predicament of people as that day approaches.. Though we all say "Iam eagerly waiting for that day" in reality it is very different.

I have seen people ageing in no time. Say within a month there is a lot of transformation-I mean in their attitude.
A person whom you think pleasant to,talk to, who values other's priorities acts different. I have seen some the moment they meet is much ovlivious of other's time and situation. Either they start bragging about the position they held, the respect they commanded( amy bealso out of coercion). It becomes so dull and boring one feels reluctant to meet the person for another time.

I have also seen people who are busy and are wanted by others for reasons of their own. May be for the wisdom they carry,the capability to run an institution/family.

Would anyone like to share their observation/s or opinion on this issue? kanaka

Hi Kanaka,

A good observation. My dad is still working at 80 and my FIL too at 75 keeps busy in his own activities.

Actually in my family and group i have seen all of them keeping busy in pursuing their interests and also wherever possible are also involved in the family business they have at a high level giving guidance to the children, involved with clubs or NGOs or other social activities etc.

I have also come across couples, who are now taking time off and are going around seeing different destinations.

I think now the scenario of retirement is changing with so many things to do and now people being more healthy and also having some disposable incomes are normally trying to be involved in something or the other to keep themselves occupied.

Roopa.

Originally Posted by kanaka

Blessed are the people who lead a happy and comfortable life afte this day.(retirement). I have seen the predicament of people as that day approaches.. Though we all say "Iam eagerly waiting for that day" in reality it is very different.

I have seen people ageing in no time. Say within a month there is a lot of transformation-I mean in their attitude.
A person whom you think pleasant to,talk to, who values other's priorities acts different. I have seen some the moment they meet is much ovlivious of other's time and situation. Either they start bragging about the position they held, the respect they commanded( amy bealso out of coercion). It becomes so dull and boring one feels reluctant to meet the person for another time.

I have also seen people who are busy and are wanted by others for reasons of their own. May be for the wisdom they carry,the capability to run an institution/family.

Would anyone like to share their observation/s or opinion on this issue? kanaka

yes kanaka,
my father being a workaholic detoriated immedaitely after his retirement, and any amount of me coaxing him to start a consultancy was not appreciated and no exposure during those times, he never made friends easily, this could be one of his problems..and died within a matter of 6 yrs of retirement ...sunkan

Dear Kanaka,

I have seen people, like u said, bragging and lamenting that they held such an important post, they had hundreds of people under them, and today nobody comes forward after retirement etc.


and many , as Sunkan says, detiorated with time, aging fast and dieing.I see this all around.

A friend with whom i walk, took VRS from bank a few years back, and today again has gione for training , to work for a company, at age 62.He is active though, but must be bored sitting at home with his grandchildren.

I am 55, retired at 50 ( I have my own business, so i could do as i desired )
business became dull and not profitable, so i decided to gracefully back off.

I kept a limited staff, who did the other sundry work,some bank work etc.And the first few months were bad, and i almost went into depression.I thought i had lost my abilities to make money.

Slowly i made myself understand, that making money i snot the only thing inlife.I staretd to read more, go out, see movies on computer, and two years back since i started to blog, my life changed for the better.

It is up to us to keep friends, to be busy and tio keep sane.The sooner the retired person learns this the better for him and his family members.

Regards.kamal

Dear Sunkan and Kamalji,

I think the caption should have been 'Retirement Blues'. Sundari you said it. A kind of insecurity,creeps in. I have seen within a month people look very aged.
But these happens to people in High Places, too, provided they have their head over the shoulders. Many of them ignore the ground realities. The yes men around them and all the facilities they enjoy, make them bloat and the moment it's gone creates a vacum.nor are they mentally prepared to face the situation.

I have seen people trying to occupy the chair which they could claim with all powers till the previous day. No joke!

Kamalji, your statement that you realised money is not -- - --- - - - - reminds me of a recent incident. I met a lady who was on the verge of getting 25 crores(Don't ask me how). But she grumbled that the entire project fizzled out at the11th hour andsaid"Perhaps God wants me to earn my living by sheer hard work!
Only thing I told her was "That money would be worth 50crores. Immediately she retorted"Arre so many people are getting money without much effort! I don't understand why God has been so cruel to me. This was told by a Mumbaikar. comment. kanaka

Dear Kanaka
Very good topic.. a pertinent one in today's world. All the replies are excellent here. Like the others said Its important for us to kep us engaged. That being said its not easy to pursue a hobby or other interests while working full time. My husband's full time job is so demanding he has to work even on weekends. His late father never retired. did some part time jobs and kept himself occupied with housework as mil got sick till the day he died. So its very important to try and keep oneself busy in the area of one's liking. Glad you wrote on this topic. keep writing:)

My dear Kanaka,
My husband retired right at the age of 60,he had planned it and he groomed his successor also.
After retirement he became busier conducting his own Training Programmes for Marketing Executives,writing manuals etc.
He was unanimously elected as the President of the welfare association in the complex where we live now.He is an active, tireless person.Much respected by our complex residents.He dotes on children,conducts contests for them during holidays,they treat him as their friend.
He is an agriculture grad.Naturally gardening is in his blood,spends lot of time in tending to the garden in our complex.So after retirement my husband is leading a happier and emotionally,psychologically satisfying time.
There are retired people who continue to live in a small circle,refuse to come out,they are also full of criticisms for anything and everything they conme across.I feel sorry for them.
One should keep oneself busy even after retirement.Infact I would say,that for creative people who in their working days never had time for their creative activities,life starts after retirement.They can pursue their creative activities,hobbies.
People at home should continue to give the retired person the same respect and attention they gave them before retirement.A retired person should not be made to feel that he has come to the end of the journey.The retired person also should not be super sensitive.Incase the wife tells him,"Why dont you go and get some resh vegetables?" he should not get irritated.
A friend of my husband says that he started enjoying life only after retirement.In his own words,"When I was in service,my wife used to supervise the running of the house.She used to be the one who took care of the guests.Many a times she used to attend functions like weddings,I used to be busy not getting leave or on tour.Now that I have retired I have all the time i the world to be with my wife.Wherever we go ,we go together,even if it is to the vegetable market or to the small temple at the end of the road.Iam always with her and assist her in the kitchen.Both of us are enjoying my retired life".
Many retired people allot certain household works like putting clothes in the washing machine,sorting out the dried clothes and keeping them in oplace,buying vegetables and if possible cutting vegetables for that day's cooking,doing pooja leisurely at one's convenience....There are a number of ways these people keep themselves busy.
I have also noted that working women,even after retirement keep themselves busy.Most of them know how to enjoy retired life.They pursue their hobbies,be it needle work or reading and writing.
The secret of the retired person continuing to be happy is that the family should treat that person with sensitivity,never saying even for fun,"after all you are retired,so why can't you do that?".The concerned person ie the retired person taking control of his retired life and try to enjoy it as much as possible.
love
mithila kannan
love
mithila kannan

Hi Kanaka Mam,

Retirement life though seems to be relaxing, it is a period of tension. In the case of men who are independent (finance wise) even after their retirement live a life without much tension. Cos money is the main reason for any misunderstandings. But in the case of men who are dependent on their sons, feel like as though they are not been taken care of as before. Even though their children take good care of them they tend to think this way cos its a psychological problem which comes at this stage / age to anyone. Even a mole will look like a mountain for them. But the younger generation should take extra care and see to that even after their father / father in law retires, they should carry the same amount of concern as before.

Dear Kanaka

Retirement is needed after many years of working but one shoud not feel that they have become old. They shoud always be young at heart. Myhusband retied at the age of 55.After some years all the retired people formed a brahman seva samithi and they go to houses tohelp them when someone expires. They buy everything that is required to do that days karma and keep everything ready before the Vadyar comes.
If they have not got certificate from the doctor that also they arrange. In Mulund East they have got a site where the rites from the 9th to the 12th day is performed. So my husband keeps himself busy. Whenever he is called he is always ready to go. In marriages also he does not keep quiet he goes to serve and also in temple when Narayaneeyam or any other religious functions are conducted he is at their service.

I used to think what i will do after retire but now dont know how the time flies only.
Morning goes in cooking and saying prayers. The for sometime chatting with my daughter who is in Dubai , then watching serials and taking a nap for sometime.
Both of us go together to temples, religious functions and marraiges etc. Everyone says we had darshan of Parvati Paameswaran. My husband's name is Parameswaran. Should not say but i think we both will die also together i think.

With love and blessings

viji

I did not notice there are some spelling mistakes. Should have read before sending. Always in a hurry.

Originally Posted by iyerviji

Dear Kanaka

Retirement is needed after many years of working but one shoud not feel that they have become old. They shoud always be young at heart. Myhusband retied at the age of 55.After some years all the retired people formed a brahman seva samithi and they go to houses tohelp them when someone expires. They buy everything that is required to do that days karma and keep everything ready before the Vadyar comes.
If they have not got certificate from the doctor that also they arrange. In Mulund East they have got a site where the rites from the 9th to the 12th day is performed. So my husband keeps himself busy. Whenever he is called he is always ready to go. In marriages also he does not keep quiet he goes to serve and also in temple when Narayaneeyam or any other religious functions are conducted he is at their service.

I used to think what i will do after retire but now dont know how the time flies only.
Morning goes in cooking and saying prayers. The for sometime chatting with my daughter who is in Dubai , then watching serials and taking a nap for sometime.
Both of us go together to temples, religious functions and marraiges etc. Everyone says we had darshan of Parvati Paameswaran. My husband's name is Parameswaran. Should not say but i think we both will die also together i think.

With love and blessings

viji