The Happy Couple

hello shanthi

welcome back
only y/day i asked my sis
about you
she said you were
HOLYDAYING
with hubby
hope you are having a nice time
the write up sure great
there are couples of both kinds...
what if the husband who is demanding
a divorce is having health probs?
educated illiterates eh?

sathya

Shanvy,

A thought inspiring post. Though the happy couple is rare, radha's case is common. Infertility for that matter is more so common in men these days that the poor women are still being blamed for no children. Both man and woman should grow physically and mentally and there should be compassion for both the races only then will the world be a much better place to live.

Nice thread Shanvy
rgds
ammvin

shanthi,
Welcome back...missed you and your posts a lot...

Happy couple is the one who understands the spouse's weakness or strength and look upon/at them as a humanbeing...
Hats off to those couples....
Sad to see some people, have not come out of the stone age....yet...

sriniketan

Originally Posted by sudhavnarasimhan

Dear Shanthi,
Glad to have u back.....
True that love and understanding between the couples should be the only criteria which can help glide them over any adversities in married life. the couple u said seem to ahve it in abundance and this Radha and her husband dont have it enough that they can withstand the stigma from the society! Inspite of physical disabilty they dont seem to have any emotional disability!.....

Dear Sudha,

Thanks. Yes emotional disability cripples not only the person but his family and surrounding. Both the couples are somebody I know, I simply had to share it to show the difference and the necessity of compassion in relationships.

Originally Posted by aparna chidri

hello
very nice post
nice to hear about such loving nd resposible couple
regarding radha , her husband is behaving like an illeterate nd beloning to 1950`s person
aparna

Dear Aparna,

Hai. I think this is the first time I am interacting with you personally.

Thanks for stepping in. Yes the couple are really great. Radha’s husband is a highly educated illiterate of the modern century. I know of uneducated farmers/labours who never think on these lines. Some of the behaviours of the so called professionals really makes you think about what is really education….but that is another topic for discussion…

Originally Posted by padmatvt

hi Shanti...

thanks for sharing this about such a wonderful couple. Really its difficult to find such couple. People like Radhas husband do exist really bad may be he is the reason that they are not able to get child, no need to divorce his wife. What can we say it is people own choice i know one government employee he married twice for the same reason.. he is so proud of his second wife because he got a son by her..totally mad. First wife was the reason for his success and it was she who always delayed conceiving so that he can get into good place.
But the coulpe you mentioned is really wonderful....definitely women do verything for their husband but it is rare that husband doing anything for their wife.
I remember, i know one person we call him uncle he is from vijaywada..his philosophy for marriage that he will the same girl to whom he go to see at her home for the first time....his bad luck she was not mentally developed but really beautiful....they got married, they have a daughter who is in mid thirties...they live so happily.... i have seen that uncle taking aunty to parties and he will tell her eat this first then this and finally he will tell her how to eat ice cream...that uncle and his daughter they do all the work.......
After reading your post i remember them after such a long time at least after three years and they are in chennai at present.

Hi padma,

Thanks for stepping in. yes two sides of the coin. I really wonder if it is the satisfaction for his ego, that he could father a son, at that, that makes the government servant boast.
A salute to the uncle you mention. We have a distant relative whose wife lost her sense around 30 years ago when her sons were 4,2 due to some reasons, and she used to run out of the house naked, the relative uncle used to cook, take care of her, sons and also a job. She passed away just 2 years back.

People like them really teach us what is the meaning of the saptapathi or the vows you take in marriages..the true meaning of the FOR BETTER, OR FOR WORSE, IN SICKNESS…… not many seem to really makes those these days, isn’t it.

Originally Posted by corallux

Dear Shanvyji,

Your thread opens up a lot of questions regarding a "happy married life".

OK the hubby wants to divorce the wife as she cannot conceive. What if the hubby had a problem & the wife is normal? How would society & hubby react if she said : Right I need to fulfil my maternal needs which is not poss staying with you, I want a divorce.

Shanvyji, you need to see some of the cases that I hear regarding newly married Indian couples. Many women have gone home as their hubbies were closet gays & had to get married to these girls for family prestige/dowry. Guess what, these girls faced flak from society.

Why is it that the concept of Sahadharmini is applicable to women only when the male needs her support & not the other way around?

Just my thoughts....

Regards,

Corallux

Hi Lakshmi,

Thank you for stepping in with your views. For me I think a wife should be treated more as a ardhangini…than sahadharmini…a sahadharmini is someone who is with you beside you…and a ardhangini is a part of you…

The equation changes when a wife can stand up and ask the question as posed by you….

I also ponder along with you about the definition of a married life, and it is never the same for two people.
.
Coming to the stories, I have heard about the gay stories, and also some more..some really make me wonder about the institution of marriage.

Originally Posted by vkrithika1

Dear shanthi,

Happy to see you again after the vacation that too with a bang.

If there is a basic understanding and love, life will be colourful like the old couple.No hurdles like money,tension...........can spoil the party.Even my dh's periappa is like him.OUr periyamma has some mental disturbance and he takes care of her like a small child for almost 20 years.

It is really paining to see radha's situation.i am surprised to see such husbands in this modern world.These people can never lead a happy life even if they marry another girl.If he cannot have a child even in second marriage,what will happen?the other girl will be the victim to his atrocities.

VKrithika,

Thanks for stepping in. I am still on vacation. Just popping in and out of IL.

Nice to know about such people isn’t it. A salute to your dh’s periyappa .

A nice question. For which only Radha’s husband would know the answer.
When a neat balance in life is struck, nothing deters you from being happy. And the couple are a example for it.

Originally Posted by AnithaA

Dear Shanvy,

Welcome back! I had been wondering about you.... What a poignant post! It sure is osme food for thought.

Regards,
Anitha

Hey NR Anithaa

How are you. What happened to the girl. Did she score well. Do keep me posted.

Then coming to this post, wanted to show the two people I have come across. And yes it is a situation to ponder. And I definitely hope that most of us don’t immediately ask our DH, what will he do in a situation like this.

Originally Posted by Arunarc

Hi Shanthi
You have explained both the side.
1st wife is not able to conceive and so he wants a divorce. Here it is like wife useless throw her away. In such cases I feel such men should not be left with any mercy shown to them. Here the lady should divorce such a person and go away.
2nd even wife is of no use still the DH wants her and take care of her. In this case it shows where love and understanding is important in life.
Where there is no love and understanding only then we will face the situation like in the 1st case.
I have a few friends who are not able to conceive because of some reason or the other but touch wood they have got such wonderful DH who take care of them and do not make them feel becoz no kids I don't want you, but instead will shower all they love on them.
I feel Radha should be happy to divorce such a person who do not care for her or do not love her.
Has he got married to her, before checking her out if she can conceive or not???? ..........or the problem is in his side not Radha's.............

Hi EQ,

Yes. Both the cases are two perspective. One has emotional disability and the other physical disability.


A bow to your friend’s husband.
Looks like the Radha’s case has touched a raw chord somewhere. It is a problem in our society, the stigma with many people….there are many couples who don’t even think about adoption at any stage stating that it is not their blood..and I really don’t understand if a kid of their own blood is going to be with them taking care of them till the end. Nothing is for sure. But people have some predetermined opinions and definitions and norms set for themselves, and like to lie inside that comfort zone and blaming the other and shifting the gun on to another’s shoulder.