She Was Different!!! A Tribute

A village girl who was born in an aristocratic, highly educated family with her father as Barrister, Brothers as CA’s, Professors, Prinicipal, gets married to a guy from a middle class simple and orthodox family and travels all the way to dream city called Mumbai.
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The first shock of her life was the family in which she had got in to - severly orthodox compared to hers. The tag city was nowhere to be seen. Girls were made to sit out during periods, Shraadh, Amavasya, Shashti and all those days in the Panchang was unheard for her. She thanked the Lord for giving her a man who never got weaved in that thread. He promised to fish her out from the house within six months as he did not want to be labeled as hen-pecked.
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Her first outing was to Gandhi Market, Kings Circle. The village modern girl could not take her eyes of the wares being sold. She quickly purchased a couple of sarees with matching blouse pieces, some lovely hair clips, lots and lots of bangles, bindis (big red ones) and hinted to her husband that she would love to wear high heeled sandals. He lovingly toured her through the market and was more pleased to see her eyes glinting with all those purchases she was making randomly. Her husband let her buy a pair of box heeled sandals and told her until she practices wearing heels at home, she is not going to wear them out. Lady was crazy about lipsticks, she picked her favourite colour “Cherry Red”, I think there were no matching lipsticks in vogue at that time. They had “Masala Dosa” and “Coffee” from Mysore Café at Matunga. Yes, she did have a glass of sugarcane juice on her way to the market. They hopped in to a taxi and returned home.
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There were fat faces at home and whispers that “her man is spoiling her habits and encouraging her to be MODERN”. The evergreen, ever optimistic lady was always full of laughter and fun. She would sing her favourite Carnatic Songs at home and practice her aalaaps. She would also dance in the hall to keep herself tuned to the rhythm. She was definitely not rated as the best “Daughter-in-law” of the family, she was not worried as her husband stood tall next to her taking bricks from his own members. It was very difficult for her to understand all the nuances of vidhis and culture. She had gone to the temple and prayed and that was the practise at her home. There were annual shradhs and pujas on specific days. There was no special culture or route they had to follow on other days. She discovered she was glowing with a baby taking shape in her womb. The decision of moving out of this home was postponed to after child-birth. The lady was very beautiful, fair, with long hair, poised, cultured, talented and envied by one and all. Her husband was simple and with no much fanfare. She had started picking branded clothes and shoes for him. He was also glowing in the love of his lady, who made him proud wherever he took her. Oh!! What a talent!! She would just take a cab and move around in the city whenever she wanted to without a fear of being lost or taken for a ride. Her slogan was “God has given you mouth to talk and shout and legs to walk and kick”. The dare devil was born and brought up in a simple village of India and the simple guy was brought up in a metro city like Mumbai. To the envy of all a baby girl was born, supposedly fair like her mother and was called beautiful. The family was filled with joy with few whispers, “Oh, the child is born so beautiful, this will make them proud. Wish the girl hard dark complexion..” and those bitter whispers continued. Within three months of the birth of the child they moved to a new house as decided.
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The journey to a new life began. She soon became mother of another lovely cute baby girl. As the girls grew she decided her mother decided to study further. She went ahead and completed her diploma and took up a job. Her husband was always there for her, a loving and caring father and ever helping and understanding husband. He never cut her wings and her enthusiasm to live life to the fullest. In fact, he was quietly learning the meaning of the word life from his better half. She would plan for movies every Saturday and there were outings every Sunday. She would not miss to pick up the latest sarees and those fancy earrings, clips, bindis, bangles, slippers, and kerchiefs for herself and her kids. The family was branded the most fashionable amongst the relatives and friends. Even her husband wore the best shirts instead of the long ones, which he used to wear before marriage. He also started following fashion and they were envied by one and all.

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Be it a marriage, party, puja or any ceremony, the lady sang, danced and chatted to glory. She was very quick with her work. The rangolis she drew would make eye-balls roll. Oh!! That English speaking lady with sleeveless blouse and box heeled sandals, wearing lipstick can draw rangolis, cook, sing carnatic songs, crack non-veg jokes, can sit with men and chat, laugh, a true socialite. Yes, I did mention that she was born and brought up in a simple village of Kerala.

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She would nab a man who knudged her in the bus by his collar and whip him hard, yell at the conducter to stop the bus and drag him all the way single handedly on the road to take him to the nearest police station with people around looking with aghast. She would pull a woman down from the train who has tried to pick pocket and take her to the woman constable standing near the ladies compartment and ask her to arrest her. If the lady constable disagrees, she would take her name and badge number and go to the nearest police station and complain to the head. Never she called up her husband for any grievances she faced, she was strong, determined and was very optimistic. She always had the attitude and approach of a winner. She could handle any crisis single handedly and was always looked up to for on the spot correct decisions. Her daughters had admired her qualities and were trying to learn from her. Be positive and be confident, there is always a better tomorrow, trust the God, no need of showing off with pujas and prayers. Do good for others and God will do good for you was the mantra that the kids learnt from the family. She was very kind hearted and was extremely moved by poverty. She would give long lectures to those women who suffered in the hands of their men. She would give away anything that anyone asked for. She was never possessive of her belongings except for her kids. She was named as “Dhan Veer Karan” of the family. Relatives took maximum advantage of her nature and would take away most of her brand new sarees and other belongings.
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A woman so bold and beautiful, courageous and talented, loud and bindaas type what kind of future she will give for her daughters was the question many quietly raised? She is taking them to movies, parties, buying them designer wears, latest collections; everything she did was noted. She slowly grew from mother to a friend to her kids. She was the first person to know even if anyone wrote a single line love letter in the class, she was the first person to know if any guy in college proposed or misbehaved, she was the anchor for her kids, she was their best friend. They never looked out for a better friend than her. She was always eager to catch up with the latest set of jokes. She loved to surf the net and learn more. She was eager to be a learner all the time. She would subscribe for all the books that was published by Magna Publications, she would subscribe for all the tamil Malayalam books and hindi too. The house was loaded with books; luckily her elder daughter has picked up the genes, as she is also an avid reader. The younger one is like her dad, happy with what comes the way and not going in search for it.
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A tribute to a lady who came from a simple village of Kerala and adopted herself to the much motivating and scintillating city life, who was always full of enthusiasm and fun, who loved to live life to the fullest, who never gave up rocking the boat even after losing her better half at an early age, who thought her kids to stand tall during crisis, who had friends of all ages including men (yes, this has to be mentioned as in her times having male friends was not the IN-THING), who danced in parties, who drank, sang, followed the latest hair cuts, never missed her visit to the parlour, never forgot to cut her nails and polish them, never forget to colour her hair, never gave up changing clothes more than once or twice in a day, who could multi-task with much ease, loved picnics, dance, theatre and music, who prayed to God in a simple way and never learnt any mantras and shlokas,who celebrated birthdays, anniversaries, mothers day etc.. with full enthu, who thought her kids to take God as a friend and not God the Almighty, who was ever optimistic, who always lived for today, who has the most obedient kids, who never mopped or swept the floor or cleant the house (there was a maid for all this work always – mind you, she was also earning) .. What more can one say.
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Her death was mourned not only by her kids but also by neighbours, shop owners, Corporators, Officers, all those who knew her. There was only one word going in the air, “A good soul is gone, a soul who lived for everyone, a soul who spread laughter in the air, a soul who was happy with the growth of anyone, a true friend, an iron woman, a very very talented person is gone”.
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Yes, my dear friends, this soul is gone in to a new body to do what she always like to do.. yes… living life the fullest.
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She was my mother, my anchor, my friend, my guide. I will always be proud of her. A simple village girl, who knew how to live life.
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Amma, I am proud of you and will always be.

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There is a mother everywhere but there is rarely a best friend in a mother. And I was lucky to enjoy that friendship.

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Tomorrow is 8^th May 2008 and I have to celebrate it… A honest approach towards writing a tribute to MY MOTHER.

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