Is it a Curse to Have only DAUGHTERS.....???

Originally Posted by soji

Hi Ladies, I have gone through all the posts here. Now i would like to say the custom prevailing in our community.In our community parents are staying with their daughter only. After marriage the boy come and stay in the wife's house. So Most of the MIL ,FIL problems are not there.We usually have problems when the parents have only boys. Here every parents wish for atleast a girl child. Girl Child is a GIFT

Dear Soji..
ThanX for reading the post and your FB.. Its really Good to hear about a community like this..

ThanX for the Information..
Love
brindha

Dear Padma..

ThanX a lot for reading the post and Sharing your thoughts with us..

Love
brindha

Originally Posted by padmatvt

hi all...

when i read the topic i was thinking about how generally people think the birth of girl...but this problem is more prominent...i think most of us go through this situation,,,including me.....i read most of the topics and started thinking my condition five years back....in my in laws family my mother in law never has been a prolem..but there was a big boss my sister in law and father in law being the only daughter she always wanted to rule..even she tried to interfere with our personal life when we should go to bedroom when should watch tv so many nuisance....but there was always a plus point husbands support and it saved me...my mother in law used to feel bad and she was forced to do wrong with which i realized very late bcoz by that time i too became arrogant in behavior just for them....they too tried to interfere when my father used to come to visit us...he used to come from UP to chennai but they always wanted me to keep busy...but i had a solution but it was not so good...but what to do i had to make my father feel welcome or i am going to do same with them too...i consider both of them as my parents then u too have to respect my parents.....ok i was telling the solution.....when i saw everyone is trying to keep me busy then i told my MIL and SIL in front of my husband that everyday i am taking care of everything so, i need you too help me so that i can have a good time for my father...but as i told u...i become arrogant when they didnt helped me for evening snacks and dinner then next day after breakfast i went for shopping, next day we went to park..finally they understood i will not agree this insult to my father that you show him..oh your daughter dont have time for you, she have to give importance to ger inlaws....i am facing consequences of these but i think....i dont feel guilty..i am correct..

Dear Padma..
Sometimes many egoistic issues force us to react like this...
Lets be positive Always and Hope for the best..

Love
brindha..

Hi Brindha n others

I may be a little too young to reply to this topic from the point of view of a daughter-in-law coz I'm still 19! But wht I feel is that we live in this society where living with your daughter is looked down upon.

Before marriage, they would ask, "Haven't you got your daughter married off yet?" and after marriage, they would ask, " Why do you keep visiting your daughter's house?". Even in a house where the bread earner happens to be a girl, the father is questioned "Are you living on your daughter's earnings? Shame on you." We see this in movies, but lets face it ... its in reality as well.

I dont see any solution to this problem. Maybe a change in the mindset of the people of the Indian Society as a whole may help. But I'm sure thats going to take a long long time. Till then, we have to bear the brunt!

dear brindha

we are 3 daughters to my mother and am the eldest ne..my DH is a great friend of my mom and they share such a wonderful relationship that no sil or mil will share.........when my mom was looking out for me i needed a person who wud say a yes to take of my family as am the eldest and had tht responsibility......My Dh is GEM- he has taken over the responsibility and now tells my mom tht she need not worry abt anythign till HE is there......and my mom keeps saying tht even if she had had a SON he wudnt have been so affectionate.......so dun worry...days and ppl are changing for the better.......

lov
sowmi

Dear,
It will not be very far before daughter's parents can move in with the daughter. The old mind set is fading away with girls earning almost the same ,if not more. (Iam 52 yrs old still taking care of my mom in law & still feel uneasy to have mom with me for a long time).
But i have instilled in my son that when he gets married her family is also his responsibility. He also believes in it. More and more of such boys will be in ,so girls don't worry this is your world.
Jaya

Dear Swetha..

ThanX for reading and your feedback dear...

Love
brindha

Dear brindha
a very nice post. yes most of the parents think that they should not stay with their daughter as it is a burden. and they also spend when they stay with their daugher as they feel that if daughter spends then they dpend on her. but i have seen some parents taking advantage of the situation too. but i feel now the situation is slowly getting changed..and in future there will be a dramatic change in the attitudes. let us hope for the best..

love
geeth

Hi Brinda,

Good write-up. We are 3 sisters and my parents are really happy about it.

My parents also don't come and stay with us...not that my in-laws have a problem.

But when i see my parents view point...i feel they are right at 76 and 81 my parents are so used to their lifestyle that if they have to shift to a new place now...the adjustments that they have to do at this age is difficult. They can't move around or do things as they would in their house even though we give that freedom. Somewhere still something is amiss for them.

If they are healthy, with good neighbours and helps around them and finance not being a major problem...i feel they should be allowed to live their life without much of our interference. Whenever possible go and spend a few happy days with them.

This works best for my family. As my parents get bored in a few days so even if they come they do not stay more than a week.

Originally Posted by sowminivibu

dear brindha

we are 3 daughters to my mother and am the eldest ne..my DH is a great friend of my mom and they share such a wonderful relationship that no sil or mil will share.........when my mom was looking out for me i needed a person who wud say a yes to take of my family as am the eldest and had tht responsibility......My Dh is GEM- he has taken over the responsibility and now tells my mom tht she need not worry abt anythign till HE is there......and my mom keeps saying tht even if she had had a SON he wudnt have been so affectionate.......so dun worry...days and ppl are changing for the better.......

lov
sowmi

Dear Sowmi..
I was really moved reading your feedback...As u have stated really your DH is a GEM... and you are a very luck person too.... to get one Nice guy for you and your family.
.

Love
brindha..