Excuses, Inc !

Without realising it I suddenly started laughing because Sharmilee was the last person I expected to hear from after all these years

Oh Hi ! My name is Venkatesh. I am a venture capitalist. I find buyers for companies.

I just got a call from Sharmilee.

Sharmilee was my classmate from college.

I remember her so well.

Smart girl but she was certainly a character

Sharmilee was always a difficult person to deal with. She would be late for everything.

She would promise to come to a movie or a play and then wouldint turn up. Then would start the excuses.


'My teeth are paining and I went to the dentist and he said...
My mother is ill and my cousin sister called and....
My father and mother scolded me when I told them that I had scraped my ankle....

and on and on

She never ran out of excuses it seemed

As I went to meet her thoughts were racing thru my head.

Would she be there? Would she make me wait for hours and then come up with her excuses???

I laughed silently and held on to the book I was reading.

This time I was prepared

When I reached her office I was surprised, to say the least

I stood outside looking at the nameboard and burst out laughing again

'Excuses Inc' was the name of her company !

She came out to meet me with the biggest smile on her face. 'You dint expect that name did you?'

'Definitely not. But it brings back memories', I said as we laughed together

"So why did you ask me to meet you?', I finally asked her, unable to contain my curiosity anymore

'Come inside and see what I do first', she said, leading me into her 'operations' room

Rows and rows of computers and telephone operators greeted me in the massive hall.

'She runs a call center operation', I thought

'No this is no ordinary call center operation'. she said as if reading my thoughts.

'Here, listen to one of the calls' she said as she led me into the control room where supervisors were monitoring the calls

'Good morning ! This is Excuses Incorporated. What kind of excuse do you need today?'

'My mother in law is threatening to come and stay with us for a week ! How can I get her to cancel???'

'Well Sir, we have three options for you

Option 1) You could say that your next door neighbor died and all their relatives are staying with you
Option 2) You could say that you are at the hospital and need 5 lakhs urgently for your operation and could she give you a loan?
Option3) You could say ‘Don’t wear anything red, blue or black (if those are her fav colors) since you have a new vicious dog who bites anyone who wears those colors and it will take a while to train him'

'Oh thank you so much. That is a god send', the customer said

'Youre welcome Sir ! Will there be anything else?'

'No that will be all. Thank you so much for your help'

This was repeated in call after call.

They gave excuses for everything.

Bosses asking employees to do overtime, Daughters in law dealing with Mothers in law, Husbands cheating on their wives, little boys who dint want to do their homework.... They had excuses for every situation !'

I listened to some of the excuses for a while completely enthralled

'My therapist told me not to strain myself
My gym trainer told me not to move my thigh muscle
My nutritionist begged me not to eat Tiramisu but I did
My Nephrologist is a nymphomaniac
My stockbroker ‘s illness is his terminal
The bus I was traveling in was hijacked by rioters
A Member of Parliament came to visit my son’s school'


The excuses went on and on and the calls never stopped !


'Have you seen enough?', Sharmilee finally asked me

'Yes I think so. This is some operation you have here', I replied still a little shocked by what I had heard

'Where do you get all these excuses from?'

'We have a research team that works only on excuses round the clock. And as you may have guessed, I am the head of the excuses team !', Sharmilee replied with a twinkle in her eye

'And how may I help you?', I asked Sharmilee, laughing

'Well we want to sell out. We want to find a buyer'

'Mmmmm why would you want to sell this company? It seems to be doing so well !'

'It is doing well. Thats why I want to sell. I want to exit at the peak. Thats when we will get the best valuation. And moreover I have a new idea that I want to execute. I need money to start that one'

'Whats the new idea?', I asked curious as usual

'We are going to start a service that will give callers ideas for blogs. Blogging is the new rage you know'

I left Sharmilee thinking that even a person who was so unreliable had capitalised on her weakness and made a killing doing it !


Within no time I found a buyer for Sharmilee's company. And I delighted in the knowledge that with her enterpreneurial spirit she would always have something cooking in her cauldron of ideas.

And I started blogging seriously using the blogging ideas service she had started



Several years later I fell ill. The doctor informed that my illness was refusing to go away and that I had very little time. But I was not ready to die yet.

Thats when I got a visit from the angel of death

'Come on Venkie. Its time to go. Unless you can give me a really good reason why I shouldint take you now....'

'Am I allowed one phone call ?', I asked

'Of Course. You want to call your wife?'

'No no', I said and went to the next room to make the call

'Excuses Inc? The angel of death has just visited. What excuse do you have.....'

Very very nice,
Enjoyed reading this piece of work.

All the best,
Yamuna.

Hahaha.....Good one.Enjoyed reading it...
Thanks for posting.

with luv,
seeba.

Dear Santosh,


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

wht a blog man what a blog.Now we know where this Ravana from Banglore gets his ideas.Super man .By the way how does Sharmelee looks like ? Can u give me her contacts.Regards.kamal

Hi santhosh,

Superb post...Now we know where u get your ideas for blogs...Anyway they are great So please entertain us with more....

Mindi

Excuse me Santhosh,

So, your post on excuses has arrived & it has proved the following quote wrong
"He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else."
Your sharmelee is ‘A self-made entrepreneur', cool N inspiring one!
And your write- up is very neat, simple & humorous. Write more & make us smile more!

Dear Santosh,

A great blog...........your user name is an excuse to draw attention to your blog........ your are already rocking man.

By the way where is this excuse inc situated ...in Blr I suppose. Give us the details please ha ha........

Hi Santosh
Hahahahaha that was a real good one to get, to give an excuse to an angel.
This was superb............even i wish to know where does this type of excuse center situated

good one. Must say you have a very good imagination. enjoyed it.

ammvin

That was some creative and an out and out hilarious post uncannybal. What a nice way to start my morning! If Sharmilee is the queen of excuses, you are no less than a queen, err, king (?) of posts that tickle the funny bone.

Other than the laughs, the message that I got from Sharmilee was that it is entirely upto us how we put our qualities to use (good and bad both). Quite inspiring in a way.

Keep 'em coming.

SS