Excuses, Inc !

Hi Santhosh, this is one more of those humorous attack of yours on all of us. I couldn't control letting out a loud laugh or two sitting at my desk this morning. Good one. I totally agree with some one's comments on the top - your username is an excuse to draw attention (I hope mine would be too - given the unusual username I have :).

Now you inspired me to go all the way back to my childhood to all these years and search for any traits of mine that I can make money on!!

-Venus

Hi Uncannyball(Santhosh),
That post was truly hilarious!How do you come up with such creative ideasEnjoyed Sharmelee's business mantra of making her weakness into strength.Let me check if i have any? Waiting for more hilarious creative posts of yours(yeah dil maange more!)


regards,
ammu

Hi Santhosh,

One more hilarious one from you..
So you are getting all your blog ideas from Sharmilee ..
You started taking the Excuses by calling to Excuses Inc., dont get habituated to it.. what you written will come to true in future.. you told how wil be the dependent human nature will be.. once we get used to something, we cant even lead one day with out that..

Let me ask you something.. Does this Excuses Inc., Really exists in Bangalore..? If so please pass on the contact information to us also...

regards,
ramyaganesh

yamusarna

Glad you liked it !

My sister in law always makes some excuse or the other to avoid doing things and that made me think of this

Santosh

Originally Posted by yamusarna

Very very nice,
Enjoyed reading this piece of work.

All the best,
Yamuna.

Uncannybal,
A wonderful piece of writing! You have a great sense of humour! Keep writing.......

Regards,
Anitha

uncannybal, ur humour is really uncanny....btw, do u often exist in a dope state where 10 headed ravana roams about in b'lore and u get a call from (?!) angel of death???????? anyways....to you for the hilarious pieces....would love to read more from u...

Originally Posted by uncannybal

Without realising it I suddenly started laughing because Sharmilee was the last person I expected to hear from after all these years

Oh Hi ! My name is Venkatesh. I am a venture capitalist. I find buyers for companies.

I just got a call from Sharmilee.

Sharmilee was my classmate from college.

I remember her so well.

Smart girl but she was certainly a character

Sharmilee was always a difficult person to deal with. She would be late for everything.

She would promise to come to a movie or a play and then wouldint turn up. Then would start the excuses.


'My teeth are paining and I went to the dentist and he said...
My mother is ill and my cousin sister called and....
My father and mother scolded me when I told them that I had scraped my ankle....

and on and on

She never ran out of excuses it seemed

As I went to meet her thoughts were racing thru my head.

Would she be there? Would she make me wait for hours and then come up with her excuses???

I laughed silently and held on to the book I was reading.

This time I was prepared

When I reached her office I was surprised, to say the least

I stood outside looking at the nameboard and burst out laughing again

'Excuses Inc' was the name of her company !

She came out to meet me with the biggest smile on her face. 'You dint expect that name did you?'

'Definitely not. But it brings back memories', I said as we laughed together

"So why did you ask me to meet you?', I finally asked her, unable to contain my curiosity anymore

'Come inside and see what I do first', she said, leading me into her 'operations' room

Rows and rows of computers and telephone operators greeted me in the massive hall.

'She runs a call center operation', I thought

'No this is no ordinary call center operation'. she said as if reading my thoughts.

'Here, listen to one of the calls' she said as she led me into the control room where supervisors were monitoring the calls

'Good morning ! This is Excuses Incorporated. What kind of excuse do you need today?'

'My mother in law is threatening to come and stay with us for a week ! How can I get her to cancel???'

'Well Sir, we have three options for you

Option 1) You could say that your next door neighbor died and all their relatives are staying with you
Option 2) You could say that you are at the hospital and need 5 lakhs urgently for your operation and could she give you a loan?
Option3) You could say ‘Don’t wear anything red, blue or black (if those are her fav colors) since you have a new vicious dog who bites anyone who wears those colors and it will take a while to train him'

'Oh thank you so much. That is a god send', the customer said

'Youre welcome Sir ! Will there be anything else?'

'No that will be all. Thank you so much for your help'

This was repeated in call after call.

They gave excuses for everything.

Bosses asking employees to do overtime, Daughters in law dealing with Mothers in law, Husbands cheating on their wives, little boys who dint want to do their homework.... They had excuses for every situation !'

I listened to some of the excuses for a while completely enthralled

'My therapist told me not to strain myself
My gym trainer told me not to move my thigh muscle
My nutritionist begged me not to eat Tiramisu but I did
My Nephrologist is a nymphomaniac
My stockbroker ‘s illness is his terminal
The bus I was traveling in was hijacked by rioters
A Member of Parliament came to visit my son’s school'


The excuses went on and on and the calls never stopped !


'Have you seen enough?', Sharmilee finally asked me

'Yes I think so. This is some operation you have here', I replied still a little shocked by what I had heard

'Where do you get all these excuses from?'

'We have a research team that works only on excuses round the clock. And as you may have guessed, I am the head of the excuses team !', Sharmilee replied with a twinkle in her eye

'And how may I help you?', I asked Sharmilee, laughing

'Well we want to sell out. We want to find a buyer'

'Mmmmm why would you want to sell this company? It seems to be doing so well !'

'It is doing well. Thats why I want to sell. I want to exit at the peak. Thats when we will get the best valuation. And moreover I have a new idea that I want to execute. I need money to start that one'

'Whats the new idea?', I asked curious as usual

'We are going to start a service that will give callers ideas for blogs. Blogging is the new rage you know'

I left Sharmilee thinking that even a person who was so unreliable had capitalised on her weakness and made a killing doing it !


Within no time I found a buyer for Sharmilee's company. And I delighted in the knowledge that with her enterpreneurial spirit she would always have something cooking in her cauldron of ideas.

And I started blogging seriously using the blogging ideas service she had started



Several years later I fell ill. The doctor informed that my illness was refusing to go away and that I had very little time. But I was not ready to die yet.

Thats when I got a visit from the angel of death

'Come on Venkie. Its time to go. Unless you can give me a really good reason why I shouldint take you now....'

'Am I allowed one phone call ?', I asked

'Of Course. You want to call your wife?'

'No no', I said and went to the next room to make the call

'Excuses Inc? The angel of death has just visited. What excuse do you have.....'

MY MY for the sober look of urs none will beleive the grey cells ticking away so many hilarious blog...whose ever recommendation u r one hell of a patacka here..sunkan

Seeba

Glad you enjoyed it !

Santosh

Originally Posted by seeba27

Hahaha.....Good one.Enjoyed reading it...
Thanks for posting.

with luv,
seeba.

Kamalji

Sharmilee's contact is a secret. Since I dont kiss and tell Haha

So now you know my secret !

Santosh

Originally Posted by Kamalji

Dear Santosh,


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

wht a blog man what a blog.Now we know where this Ravana from Banglore gets his ideas.Super man .By the way how does Sharmelee looks like ? Can u give me her contacts.Regards.kamal

Hello Santhosh,
This was a great piece from you..You have some( a lot) creativity running in ur nerves.....it was way too funny to read and gave my mind a tick of REFRESH!!! Absolutely hillarious and not to mention that Sharmili did captivate what she was good at...so that kinda very inspiring!!

Way to go!! You rock....