Everything I do

Originally Posted by Arunarc

Dear Anandchitra
This is so true and touchy story. Where job and promotion comes in front of love????
Both of them have taken a correct decision as at an young age the child always needs it's parent's before them or once this insecurity feeling enters into them it is very difficult to remove it.
I enjoyed this story.

Aruna love
Sorry i somehow missed this comment.. Glad you enjoyed the story.. I tried a different style.. Its not only about working.. sometimes even not working i get caught up in so many things and overlook whats more important:)

Originally Posted by roopadadia

Hi AC,

A wonderful write-up. Also this topic is very close to my heart.

As i have mentioned in another thread, we have an IB school here where 80% of the students are so disturbed coz of their family circumstances. I will not say that they come from a family where both parents need to work as the fees here are exhorbitant, so they all come from a class apart.

These students are so upset with their high flying parents as they don't have time for them...just giving them materialistic pleasure and things that money can buy is not enough. Parents don't even know or believe that their kids are drug addicts, or have other psychosomatic problems.

Where both the parents need to work out of compulsion is a different matter altogether. But where one of them can be at home...or work part time if they have financial stability then i am sure they have the satisfaction of balancing their life. And the kids will also not feel left out.

I agree with kamalji...that if you can't afford kids both financially and emotionally...then please opt not to bring them in this world and make life difficult for them.

One of our friends have mentioned that why can't the husband leave his job and take care of the house and kid...i have seen such couples too where the husbands profession allows him to work from home and his wife goes out for a job.

This problem is also arising because of nuclear family system adopted today. In joint family where both the parents are working, i have seen that either the mother or a co-sister is at home...then families opt to have a good full time maid. So the person at home is not over burdened with work and those who go out don't have to come home and slog again. And if there is an emergency then everyone takes leave in turns.

What i have mentioned above is not fiction...but what i have seen around me.

Also, proper planning and management of time, finance, available resources etc helps to a great extent. Also setting priorities in life and budgeting accordingly also helps a great deal.

Where there is a will there is a way.

Dear Roopa
This is probably the finest post reply I have read in sometime now... Please accept my congrats online
What you say is exactly whats happening around us! and becoming an epidemic.. These parents need not necessarily have to work you know! And your last few lines summed up sooooo beautifully.. so glad you replied. thank u

Originally Posted by Pushpavalli Srinivasan

Dear AC,
You have portrayed very well in your story the present scenario of both parents working .. The one child norm also deprives the child of a sibling. A nice story and keep poting more!
Love,
PS

Thank you PS.

Dearest AC,
You have written a very thought provoking post.....but I would like to differ a little from your views.
I still feels that working or stay home parents, nothing is troublesome if you can manage your time effectively. You have potrayed the view of a parent but you know some kids think differently.......we used to adore our misses in schools.......the way they presented themselves......their independent attitude.....I always wanted my Mom to find time for herself apart from spending whole of her energy on us.....
I think its selfish for a kid to think of getting her mom's attention all the time when she/he is at home......but what about the mom who will stay home once the kid left for school.....
I have seen ladies leaving up the jobs to take care of their kids.....but what about your own life once the kid is all grown up and busy in friends.....school....college.....can the stay home moms/dads demand the same from the kid.......
So, in my view, being practical is the best thing......
Sunitha could have replied her daughter politely that ahe was paying attention to the guest only for one time......while she is there for Anju forever.......She could have asked her daughter to enjoy her time with the guests also.......instead she made her kid blackmail herself emotionally and quit her job.......does it worth?
Probably, I am not a mom yet, and I don't want to hurt all our Mom's sentiment with my post......but for me, I have my identity.....apart from being a daughter......wife.....sister and I should also respect other people's identity in their respective roles........
Regards.

Dear AC,
a nice story ....portrays the situation of probably many families today....
it is often a task for the parents to work out a solution to balance their career and the time they spend with the kids....
i think the problem per se is not with the working, but with the tact that parenting demands....if the parents are able to give quality time and ensure the child feels loved, even if only for a few hours a day,i guess the children won't feel deprived...the little things like asking a child how the day went, may require just a little time from parents, but would sure go a long way in bonding with the child...
the important thing is to be able to connect with the child, no matter whether the moms are working or stay at home...

for every mother who deprives her child of the necessary attention because of the demands of her career, there is also a mother who dotes on the child all the time and spoils it....the latter is also equally harmful to the interests of the child...

well,what i intend saying is that while to work or not to work is every woman's own decision, whether or not they make good parents may not entirely depend on that decision ! often, especially in our society, one becomes a parent even without knowing if one is full equipped to handle the responsibilities that come with it....and so i guess many feel the pressure in situations like these....

Originally Posted by Meeta

Dearest AC,
You have written a very thought provoking post.....but I would like to differ a little from your views.
I still feels that working or stay home parents, nothing is troublesome if you can manage your time effectively. You have potrayed the view of a parent but you know some kids think differently.......we used to adore our misses in schools.......the way they presented themselves......their independent attitude.....I always wanted my Mom to find time for herself apart from spending whole of her energy on us.....
I think its selfish for a kid to think of getting her mom's attention all the time when she/he is at home......but what about the mom who will stay home once the kid left for school.....
I have seen ladies leaving up the jobs to take care of their kids.....but what about your own life once the kid is all grown up and busy in friends.....school....college.....can the stay home moms/dads demand the same from the kid.......
So, in my view, being practical is the best thing......
Sunitha could have replied her daughter politely that ahe was paying attention to the guest only for one time......while she is there for Anju forever.......She could have asked her daughter to enjoy her time with the guests also.......instead she made her kid blackmail herself emotionally and quit her job.......does it worth?
Probably, I am not a mom yet, and I don't want to hurt all our Mom's sentiment with my post......but for me, I have my identity.....apart from being a daughter......wife.....sister and I should also respect other people's identity in their respective roles........
Regards.

Meeta my dearmost
please accept my online salutations for your wonderful wonderful reply
I truly loved your ending and point of view
I believe this thread has been successful since many have disagreed thereby adding to good enlightened conversation:)
When I first wrote I was trying a new style and convinced noone is going to notice.. I did not for a moment think much of story line.. just rambled.. only point I hoped to convey is to make time for family.. which I did.. But i am really proud of this thread as it got so many different views.. each one special in its own way!
thank you my friend:)

hi this is my second post. I have been reading on this site for many months and today I registered to comment here. you have written very well.

Dearmost AC akka,

This is a common thing which is happening in most of the houses, where both Husband and Wife work… The kid is left alone and they have very little time for the kid, because of the work pressure and exertion… Like people have said, this need not have to be the case only with the working parents… The same situation could also be with a family, where wife is not working also… But the fact remains, that we need to spend quality time with the family… especially with the kids…

In this fast demanding materialistic world, our expectations are high… We want to reach the sky in a short span… As per the basic law of nature… If you want to gain something then you have to lose something… It is in a very rare case, you get a win-win situation… If you are more focused on money and career, then your time with the family and family happiness becomes a issue…

So we need to balance the show… With the latest emerging trends, we say that we are balancing it… But I find it is not the case… I have few of my collegues, where both husband /wife works… I also see how they suffer because of the work pressures and the domestic demands… I am also witness to the fact that some peoples efficiencies coming down and their career enhancement not happening… Slowly this makes them frustrated… Also the kids lifestyle, habits, behaviour changes… Some for good and some for bad…

At the end of the day… what for all these struggles… For the betterment in life and to protect the future of our kids… Then why not people think in those terms?????....


Veda