Everything I do

Dear anandchitra,
Very well written.What i liked is the typical portrayal of a family scenario.And you have embellished the write up by describing the calender on the fridge door just like a traditinal look of a house.I loved that.Kids are to be watched and given importance.In mahabharata,whatever decision is to be taken,they will first consult nakula and sahadeva.This is one point to be mentioned.
Nice write up.Keep up.
BC

Originally Posted by anandchitra

Sunitha woke up with a start. It took her a minute to open her eyes wide and glance sideways at her alarm clock. She had beat her alarm by just under a minute. She hurriedly shut it off and stepped off her bed without waking her husband. She entered the kitchen as a light grey dawn was peeping through her kitchen windows. She set the cooker and glanced idly at her calendar on the fridge door. Her face registered a startled look as she glared at the calendar as though it had made some mistake. Belatedly she realized no mistakes were made but she had forgotten an important guest coming for dinner that evening. Her youngest sisterinlaw (Shanthi) had called last week informing Sunitha that her (Shanthi’s) FIL would be visiting them and could Sunitha please host them for dinner. Sunitha had said Yes without any apparent hesitation though she was well aware of the work involved on a weekday. The past weekend had been too busy and she had completely forgotten this matter. Her mind now in a whirlwind of activity as she started making a list off all the things that needed to be done, her hands hurried with making coffee.
She had just enough time to wake her husband, Kannan, and then run behind her sleeping daughter Anju as she helped get Anju ready for school. Meanwhile Kannan had his coffee and headed towards the bathroom to get ready for work.
Anju wanted to know “Why the color of the sky was still grey”, What was amma thinking all the time”, Why did’n t the door bell ring with the arrival of their maid Lakshmi, Why could she not wear the yellow skirt to school, Why was her best friend Ram sick… and the questions endless. Sunitha barely got the kid ready and made her eat breakfast nodding her head without paying any attention to any of the questions.
Anju must have noticed her mothers preoccupation that she kept quiet after a while. Kannan noticing their maids absence busied himself at the kitchen sink as Sunitha got everyone’s lunch boxes ready. Before she knew it she was sitting in her company’s bus still thinking about the evening’s guests. Mentally she checked off her list of things to be done. Her maid not coming had only helped add to the stress and she could barely think of anything else during a very busy work day. There seemed to be some connection with her absent maid and work because nothing went off as planned during the day with numerous problems from the customers, Sunitha somehow just made it home that evening.
As Sunitha picked up Anju from after school daycare, she realized she needed some more items for that evenings dinner so she rushed through ShopFast with Anju in tow. With her mind so preoccupied she failed to notice the very quiet Anju by her side. Kannan came early too that evening and helped get everything ready for the guests. Shanthi’s FIL Balan mama turned out to be a fun person and had so many questions to ask both Kannan and Sunitha which they answered patiently. Finally the guests left very happy and Kannan started cleaning up while Sunitha got Anju ready for bed.
Finally she noticed Anju being quiet and asked “Anju kutty whats up my sweet one”? and turned Anju’s face to her side. Anju’s big brown eyes looked at her mother for a few minutes before she asked quietly “Why don’t you love me amma? . Sunitha was compelely taken aback with this question that for a minute she just stared back at her daughters sad face. Kannan coming from behind heard this and rushed to Anju’s side. “My sweetest baby..How could you say that? Both amma and appa love you so much. You are all we have. We are working hard just for you”.
But Anju continued to look sad and downcast. “If you both love me, why don’t you spend any time at all with me? Why don’t you answer any of my questions? Why didn’t you ask what I did at school today? Why did you answer ALL the questions that Balan mama asked but not any of mine?.All I have ever wanted was to be with both of you but you are always busy with no time for me... With that she turned and walked into her room to sleep and said a small goodnight to her parents still standing shocked by the door.
Sunitha could barely control her tears as she sat in the sofa and Kannan tried to console her saying “Sometimes it gets so busy during the day..we cannot always spend time with Anju”. Sunitha knew that was no excuse at all and so did Kannan. They both realized very quickly they had to do some serious soul searching and decide if this is how they wanted to live their lives. With both parents working full time, they thought they could afford so much more for their kid but in the process had forgotten the child needed love and attention on a daily basis.
Though it was very late when Sunitha and Kannan went to sleep that night, their minds had cleared. They were sad they had overlooked the most important person in their lives and finally made some important decisions together. Sunitha had decided to resign from her very demanding work by the month end and Kannan had decided to forego a promotion that involved more travel time.
They both knew it was a small price to pay for the happiness and closeness that they wanted together as a family. Both knew they would have to sit down later and start a more frugal budget but nothing could overshadow their joy as they knew the quality time that they would finally have to spend with each other and with their beloved daughter too.

AC,
Well written story. BTW, thanks for putting my feelings in the very best way. I could have never done that. I have no other words to say.

Originally Posted by mithila kannan

My dear anandchitra,
Such a beautiful story with a great message not only for young parents,but for all of us.In our hurry to earn,in our desire to keep a fantastic looking HOUSE ,in our eagerness to be pleasing to the social circle friends we forget our dear and near and why oh why?we forget ourselves and our need to love and be loved.to care and to be cared also.
Great writing.Enjoyed it.
mithila kannan

Dear Mithila
I was hoping you would read this and give feedback. This style of writing was inspired by you. I enjoyed reading your writings so much that I thought I will give this a try.
And I am incredibly happy that you got the point so well. Its not just about working fulltime etc.. Even in day to day lives we get so caught up with keeping house clean we refuse to allow our house member s to just LIVE.. its very sad that our own family members cannot put up their legs on the sofa and sit IF they want to!
For many years after son was born we lived with an old sofa.. his most favorite activity was to jump up and down on the sofa.. we ignored ALL comments made by everyone.. now he's taller than me and I doubt if he wants to jump all day.. we also have better sofa now .. But the point I was hoping to make through the story was the importance of being there for each other.. whether it be work or not.. people always find excuses and manage to put their near and dear ones to the back:)
I'd better stop rambling.. Thanks Mithila.

Originally Posted by anandchitra

Dear Oviya
Glad you took a different track.. Its a pleasure to read your point of view.. also everyone benefits by hearing the different track.. do keep writing my friend:) You so rightly said the chid could easily become spoiled trying to assuage the guilt feelings of over worked parent.. also if you notice these over worked parents buy everything their child asks for.. another guilt trap!

Dear AC,

Thank you for the encouragement and understanding my views in the right context.

Originally Posted by rajmiarun

AC,
Well written story. BTW, thanks for putting my feelings in the very best way. I could have never done that. I have no other words to say.

Thank You BC.. so very well said:)

Dear Rajmi
So sweet reply from a sweet lady:) Thanks. Happy Mothers Day May 11.

Hi AnandChitra,
Nice writeup. Typical situation at every household of both working parents. But i dont agree with the decision they made. In my opinion parents can balance both their work life as well as home life very well without one having to quit the job.
Anyhow, quite a nice article.

Hi AC,

A wonderful write-up. Also this topic is very close to my heart.

As i have mentioned in another thread, we have an IB school here where 80% of the students are so disturbed coz of their family circumstances. I will not say that they come from a family where both parents need to work as the fees here are exhorbitant, so they all come from a class apart.

These students are so upset with their high flying parents as they don't have time for them...just giving them materialistic pleasure and things that money can buy is not enough. Parents don't even know or believe that their kids are drug addicts, or have other psychosomatic problems.

Where both the parents need to work out of compulsion is a different matter altogether. But where one of them can be at home...or work part time if they have financial stability then i am sure they have the satisfaction of balancing their life. And the kids will also not feel left out.

I agree with kamalji...that if you can't afford kids both financially and emotionally...then please opt not to bring them in this world and make life difficult for them.

One of our friends have mentioned that why can't the husband leave his job and take care of the house and kid...i have seen such couples too where the husbands profession allows him to work from home and his wife goes out for a job.

This problem is also arising because of nuclear family system adopted today. In joint family where both the parents are working, i have seen that either the mother or a co-sister is at home...then families opt to have a good full time maid. So the person at home is not over burdened with work and those who go out don't have to come home and slog again. And if there is an emergency then everyone takes leave in turns.

What i have mentioned above is not fiction...but what i have seen around me.

Also, proper planning and management of time, finance, available resources etc helps to a great extent. Also setting priorities in life and budgeting accordingly also helps a great deal.

Where there is a will there is a way.

Dear AC,
You have portrayed very well in your story the present scenario of both parents working .. The one child norm also deprives the child of a sibling. A nice story and keep poting more!
Love,
PS

Originally Posted by lalitha shivaguru

Dear Ac,

A nice and hot topic of today.

I second Kamla in saying whether all things can have a fairy tale ending like this. With prices really sky rocketing, it is very difficult to make both the ends meet for a middle class family. Take the example of myself, because of all these reason, I am now working after a gap of 12 yrs. Though I feel guilty that I may not be there when kids really need me but in a way I am also helpless. Another poin I have noticed is Kids also are more independant when parents are not around.

Dearmost Lallu
Somehow missed this.. my bad really:) You have made a good observation.. that kids become too dependent .. I totally agree. being a stay at home mom my son is headed that way.. its more work on my part not to make so.. thanks for writing and expressing this:)