Everything I do

Dear Ac,

A nice and hot topic of today.

I second Kamla in saying whether all things can have a fairy tale ending like this. With prices really sky rocketing, it is very difficult to make both the ends meet for a middle class family. Take the example of myself, because of all these reason, I am now working after a gap of 12 yrs. Though I feel guilty that I may not be there when kids really need me but in a way I am also helpless. Another poin I have noticed is Kids also are more independant when parents are not around.

Dear Anandchitra
This is so true and touchy story. Where job and promotion comes in front of love????
Both of them have taken a correct decision as at an young age the child always needs it's parent's before them or once this insecurity feeling enters into them it is very difficult to remove it.
I enjoyed this story.

Originally Posted by Kamla

Dear Anandchitra,

A very well written story. I loved the little family scenes you have inserted..So true to life and so natural.
I was wondering what you were leading us to...Me mandu did not guess till Anju spoke her words!
All is well, mom and dad decide to go easy on work and mom stays back to look after and raise a happy girl. Nice thoughts, but somehow I am not sure if it can work like that in real life Ac. Call me skeptic if you want, which I am.
Money spins the world, the same parents have to pay through their noses if that child wants a bright future, good schooling, college degrees, commutes etc etc. Everyone here will understand what the demands of the society are today. Yes, one can live with less money, but believe you me, that also means a lot less security. And before you realize, old age catches up and who is going to pay all those medical bills, rising inflation costs, so on and so forth. Don't mean to come down on your writings...But...reality is sometimes very harsh and one seems to need a lot of that money these days, whether we like it or not.
It is okay to give up or cut down on work if one is somewhat safe monetarily, but many do not have that luxury. I therefore want to be mindful of their dilemmas and be kind to such parents who are trying very hard to secure a safe future for their kids and themselves...What say you?!

L, Kamla

Dear Kamla
Your reply is a gem..as beautiful as you.. I totally disagree with you that one needs to work and so one has security.. even without thinking much I can name 50 of close circle friends, mostly doctors, who earn sooooo much.. still they dont have time for each other and no time for kids and above all money is spent like water that they also dont have enough money...
Its my personal experience that those people who MUST work alwaysmanage to find time for kids and family.. so very happy you wrote it..

Hi anand chithra,

very nice story...and your prtrayal of a typical house was very good...But i also cannot totally agree with the option the mother took...If one learns to balance work and home,spend quality time with the child,and the father too helps a lot with home and child i think it makes a happy family...i had decided to do part time when my daughter was born and my husband too decided to relocate so that he reduced his commuting time and wud be home by 6...those were wonderful years and now i think it was really worthwhile when i see my confident daughter....

Mindi..

Dear AC,
Very well writtern and "in need of the hour" post.Trust me in IT Firms esp...(i know its prevalent in every field), you can find kids literally pushed to day care and parents hurriedly catch up with the office bus. I see this scene everyday...poor those sweet little ones...I agree that a little bit of sacrifice is no harm .. for those lovely moments of kid growing will never ever come back..BTW, my SIL is a CA graduate and she quit practising post preg...the kid is now 2 yrs and she plans to work only after the kid is 3.She enjoys every moment with the kid and viceversa..But, this will not hold good to household where money is a constraint, but we shud make sure to talk/sing/dance with the kid atleast for sometime..my humble views!

Originally Posted by Mindian

Hi anand chithra,

very nice story...and your prtrayal of a typical house was very good...But i also cannot totally agree with the option the mother took...If one learns to balance work and home,spend quality time with the child,and the father too helps a lot with home and child i think it makes a happy family...i had decided to do part time when my daughter was born and my husband too decided to relocate so that he reduced his commuting time and wud be home by 6...those were wonderful years and now i think it was really worthwhile when i see my confident daughter....

Mindi..

Mindi
You have rightly said those choices that work.. they are also more common choices.. I too worked part time.. but we do not have a career to speak of bec of the compromise.. Thanks for writing in.

Originally Posted by Oviya

Dear AC,

A very nice and important one..

It is a thought that attacks everybody at the end of the day. Was I good to my little one? Even the homemaker moms cannot be attending every single thought of their kid.

Kids learn it the natural way. Get exposed to things; then learn. But, there is no second opinion as to the working parents manage the kids, hard way. They have so much of guilty feelings. A friend of mine, who is a working woman, revolves just around her daughter after she comes back.

Just because she is working she is spoiling her daughter like anything, making her life miserable by attending her too much.

Actually, I personally feel that they don't need their parents 24/7. Depending upon the way they are brought up and what they see, their thirst towards independence is getting increased day by day. So, naturally they spend a lots of time for themselves.

But, they really want quality time from the parents. When that lacks, this story kind of occurence becomes so common. That is the reality of these days. Mostly, the parents are running behind so many stuffs and end up losing the game of winning their kids' hearts.

AC, your story triggered my thoughts. Sorry if I took it to a different track.

Dear Oviya
Glad you took a different track.. Its a pleasure to read your point of view.. also everyone benefits by hearing the different track.. do keep writing my friend:) You so rightly said the chid could easily become spoiled trying to assuage the guilt feelings of over worked parent.. also if you notice these over worked parents buy everything their child asks for.. another guilt trap!

Dear Ac,

Thanks for seeing my argument even if it was against the thoughts you have expressed.
I agree Ac that those who have the money and can make do with a bit less have these choices to ponder and act upon, like the docs that you mention. But I am thinking of those many many parents where both need to work to afford a decent life and education for their family and also many have the added responsibility of having to provide for their older parents and siblings. Those couples have no choice, really.
You have started a very thought provoking story/initial post, good job!

L, Kamla

Originally Posted by anandchitra

Dear Kamla
Your reply is a gem..as beautiful as you.. I totally disagree with you that one needs to work and so one has security.. even without thinking much I can name 50 of close circle friends, mostly doctors, who earn sooooo much.. still they dont have time for each other and no time for kids and above all money is spent like water that they also dont have enough money...
Its my personal experience that those people who MUST work alwaysmanage to find time for kids and family.. so very happy you wrote it..

good write up AC. It is always a difficult situation. It is human nature to not to look around you but beyond you. Happiness is near you. Embrace it and you will feel wonderful.

ammvin

Dear Ac,

Wonderful topic as expected from you . Very debatable too!
I guess its imperative to work if you fall in the category of people who need both the parents working to meet the minimum subsistance.
I also understand that no body can take care of kids like the parents. A very difficult choice for some parents I guess where its a question of being caught between the devil and the deep sea!
Youve narrated everything very well.Excellent write up AC. loved it!!

Love,
Devika