My old Age

Dear Kamalji,

The leading post, replies and your fantastic reply to those were all done.

Still, I want to say what I felt reading this thread.

The reality is that it is so sad to talk about death. I felt sad, too, for sure.

But, it is so common for all the people to think this way at one point in time. I feel it is so intelligent to do that. (Anyway you said Harshaji didn't see that. So, it is fine). The travel towards the mystery leads to so many good decisions. Did you decide any? Have you informed the good news? Sorry, if I'm getting too much into this.

You speak the heart, Kamalji. Another post from you carrying a heavy messege portrayed in a lighter way.It was so thoughtful of you to talk about re-marriage with Harshaji, though very unimaginable from a woman's point of view.

Long live, Kamalji..

Originally Posted by Oviya

Dear Kamalji,

The leading post, replies and your fantastic reply to those were all done.

Still, I want to say what I felt reading this thread.

The reality is that it is so sad to talk about death. I felt sad, too, for sure.

But, it is so common for all the people to think this way at one point in time. I feel it is so intelligent to do that. (Anyway you said Harshaji didn't see that. So, it is fine). The travel towards the mystery leads to so many good decisions. Did you decide any? Have you informed the good news? Sorry, if I'm getting too much into this.

You speak the heart, Kamalji. Another post from you carrying a heavy messege portrayed in a lighter way.It was so thoughtful of you to talk about re-marriage with Harshaji, though very unimaginable from a woman's point of view.

Long live, Kamalji..

Dear Oviya,

Remarriage is always a possibility, and why not let the partner know yr views when u are alive.

And these things are better to talk when alive, so u can prepare for the final journey.I learned this from my Dad, guess we pick up things from our elders.Things were easier when he died, bcs we knew what he wanted to done after his death.

He died on the operation table, he had a retina detachment.Two hours before the operation,(mind u he was hale and hearty), he told mom for 2 hours, that suppose he were to die on the operating table, this and this is to be done.My mom was shocked,aas she knew this was not a life threatining operation, just a simple one hour one.

But he died on the operation room, some botch up by the Docs, but we did not press charges against them.When Dad was no more, what was left to fight for ?

So ive learnt from him to cheerfully talk of death and its aftermath,and i want to leave no loose ends, and put my family in trouble after i am no more.

I am very practical,younger people die before me every year,and there is choas all around in their family.The finances aer disarrayed,and i am amazed at the stupidity of the male who died.Their families spend years attending cours and banks, who freeze the accounts as either the nomination was not made, nor was it a joint account.

This is one mistake i have avoided, and make sure that whatever i have, goes smootly behind to the rightful heirs with out trouble.

I feel most I Lites are not comfortable with this topic,which amazes me.But we leave it at that, and i hope i dont raise this topic on this forum.Regards.kamal

Thanks and regards.kamal

Dear Kamalji,

Thank you for the detailed reply...

KamalJi,

Again a heat-touching post.I get amazed by variety and depth in your topics. How do you manage to watch life so minutely?

I actually found your views very right on the mark. I dont know why we all shy away talking about our own death. While thats the biggest certainty we have. Its better to lay out plans than leave things in hang.

I think it takes a very practical person to do it. About remarriage I think in India , we still are ages behind in shrugging the social stigma of widowhood. Leave apart remarrying. But its certainly refreshing to know , someone of your age group supports it for your own family. It speaks of your progressive attitude.


Ria

Hiii
I read ur blog and i found a fear of death .I think it is perfectly wise to think abt death ad old age and to make plans abt it ...But fear ..atlaest i dont have that negative attitude towards death .And especially when u say life has been good to u. Lets start seeing death as a continuity in life one for phase after old age .well atleast i think of death just a step ahead ..in diffferent religions people heve different stories abt death and wat happens after it ..well i am looking forward to it....Yeah i fully agree with u their is more insecurity in being left alone so i will advice is spending a lot of good time together .....

Hello Sir,
While reading this thread, I thought you must have written this after your drinks..
But it got serious and serious.... I really felt bad about few points that you have hard time pass during 10am -- 8am and after your younger one is married, how you would lead the life etc... it really made me to worry about my parents and how they are doing time pass during their old age, and off course about myself that how I am going to lead my old age with so many health problems.
Yet... you have given good points to everybody about making the WILL, keeping it ready and letting the dear-near ones know about all financial matters.

I am still in the sad mood....

Regards.

Dear Kamalji,

Yes, like everyone else, the talk of death in your post did make me a little sad. Especially when one places a favorite blogger like you in that scene, it does appear grim you know.

Having said that, I can perfectly understand and relate to this kind of open discussion with your close and dear ones about this inevitable aspect of life. I agree that at some comfortable point in ones life, this must be talked about in its practical form.

My Dad is just like you in this aspect. He has talked to Mom and to us (me and my siblings) about death in a similar open and practical manner. And the will, yes, an absolute must, I think. From the time I remember Daddy has always had a will. It has been updated as years went by and as he accumulated more stuff. At every point we have all known what is there in the will and where the will is.

Then a few years ago on one of his visits here, he talked to us kids and Mom about remarriage. Not for my Mom, but for himself if Mom left before him! Again, his practical mind was in full force. Matter-of-factly he said, no matter how hard one tries to engage themselves in other pursuits, the reality is that life is tough without a partner to share your thoughts with. Kids have their own life and while they love you unconditionally they are in no position to share your daily thoughts and neither your daily battles. So a partner who is mentally compatible with you, is quite a necessity according to him. He then went on to tell Mom that she also should not have any inhibitions about such a partnership for herself if he were to leave before her. Now one can easily guess Mom’s reaction to all this talk – tears and sadness flowing down her cheeks! And not because Dad may re-marry after she is gone but that he will have to go through the pain of she having left before him or that he may leave before her! Such are women! You cannot help but love them for this crying, can you? J

So when I read your post Kamalji, I was reminded of the conversations Daddy has had with us. My initial reaction to the conversation with Daddy was, why do we want to talk about it so early in life? But as our conversation progressed, I saw the practical aspect that you have written about – making sure the people that are left behind are comfortable in every way.

Anyway. After a long-winded reply, I must admit that I am happier when I read the funny and humor filled posts from you than the “practical” ones like these! J.
And knowing you Kamalji, I know we will be showered with the funny posts more than the practical ones!

SS

Dear SS,

Humour, is it ? I posted one yesterday called " Childbirth", and there i sjust one comment, and so many on this crying subject.

Everyone wants funny blogs, but no one wants to comment on them.HAHA

Good ur Dad is so open about these things.Makes life easier later on.

the problem with remarrige is that the kids of the spouse come intio teh picture, and lots of complications whre property is concerned.

REgards.kamal