My old Age

Originally Posted by Kamalji

My Old Age

I read a wonderful story ,which brought these thoughts on.





Today I am 55, and Harsha my wife is 54.I don’t know if we are old, but we certainly are middleaged for sure.Elder daughter got married two years ago, and the younger one Sita is giving her final exams for her graduation.She is 21.




Another few years down the line she will get married and gone.We have braced ourselves for that.She is the joy of the house,and since she is busy with studies and dosnt get time to read the papers these days, at night she will ask me all the news of the day, and I tell her the juicy stories, of the cheerleaders, the LIC snake one,Bhajji slapping Seesnath, and it is heaven to see her laugh her joyous smile.You all read Kamalji, and she hears Kamalji.




After she is married and gone, who will listen to my stories ? You all are there, of course who will help me keep sanity,by yr comments and encouragement,but who knows eyes may get tired a few years down the line, and I cant sit at the PC as long as I sit now .I feel the hardest hours to kill are the 10 to 8pm, while the night flies with a few pegs of whiskey, the TV, and a nice sleep.




Sometime back I was having tea,and we were reading a news paper each.Suddenly I asked her “ Listen Harsha, suppose I were to die before you,what would u do ? I have made out the will ,in your favour.If us wish to remarry,after I am no more, please carry on, you have my blessings.She was shocked to say the least, as these deathly thoughts are not for the early morning.I said, this is a fact of life Harsha, either u go first, or I go first, or we go together in an accident.There is no 4^th way about it.




Suppose I was to go first, and if u met a partner and u wished to marry him,you would not know whether Kamal would have liked it or not.That is why, when I am here ,I tell you that you can marry, without worrying about me.She said what about u.I said I wont marry ever.Once is enough.Even if u give me the permission I wont ever marry.




And I told her,she can stay in this house, or she can shift to a flat in m umbai after selling this Bunglow, not to worry, the choice is hers.We both have built this bunglow brick by brick, the first bunglow in many many generations of our family.But all good things have to come to an end, including our lives.



And I told her, after I am gone, no pandits, and all the rituals.My ashes are not to be taken to Haridwar or Anywhere .Just put them in the Worli Sea Face, where my dad and grandmom’s were put, with all family members including children putting me to sea on a bedsheet.




When my grandmother died at a ripe age of 85 plus in 1995, This is what Dad decided to do.We all from the family, nephews nieces, all , went with the pandit to the Worli Sea Face, on the rocks, overturned the Urn on a white bedsheet,and let the bedsheet sail in the Sea.The next year Dad expired and he too wished the same, and we did the same.He used to say, When u all walk down the Seaface, you will always look at the Sea and remember I am here close to you.




The same I told my wife, Haridwar and these places the Pindas and the priests are horrible, I have been there and they literally swindle you and hold u to ransom.I would not like to trouble anyone with my ashes, and just a simple half an hour saying good bye by all the family members at the Seaface would be a good sendoff.




I am more worried about her than myself.I can get by.I hav e loads of friends, I have varied interests,and I can joyfully carry on.Its about Harsha I think a lot sometimes.I wouldn’t want to trouble my daughters and their families to take care of her.Everyone has their own lives tolive.




That is one reason I am at times a bit stingy.I want to have sufficient funds for both of us in our old age,for meeting unexpected contingencies like sickness, and other comforts which we must have. We would never like to have our palms outstretched ,God forbid.And yes the lord has been kind to us.




And u guys and gals , don’t u worry, I wont come back and spook u with my blogs.Once gone always gone.So if u ever don’t see me for a month or more here, then just think Kamalji is no more, and pay condolences by reading at least one blog of mine and commenting, that will soothe my soul, if troubled.I have never seen anyone go and come back one last time in a dream or something to say Goodbye once again.And I wont too.


KAMAL MAHTANI

dear kamalji,
you have brought on some pleasant memories with me, before my husband could die he was very sure i would remarry i dont know how he decided though and kept threatening i would come as bhooth and kill him so,

i used to tell him one punjabi story i heard a long time ago, a farmer had his daughter marriageable age and that night one traveller came for the overnight stay as he knew no one, so they all slept in one room with just pillows to separate them, the traveller was passionate about the daughter and he was very handsome drawing the young girl's attention too.

so the entire night he kept contemplating jaoon ki nahi,shall i make a move or not so this went on and it was morning before he could realise, now all things packed and he was leaving then he told the girl in low tone that he would jump over the wall and asked her to be ready and he would take her along, she laughed out loud and could not stop laughing
i know you must had guessed but still let me finish, she told when you could not jump a pillow what are u going to jump a wall..

like wise what u can give when alive that memory will keep harsha so happy even if she were the one to stay back, instead u r rambling here about things when you are only in fifties have a heart kamalji, i am sure u r jolting every one around.

why worry about something when you are not going to be present, worry about something that u can do in such a manner that people around you feel so, that he lived like a king and died like one, he has done a lot caring and being with us when needed i know none can replace my husband...

not the statement of thank lord i am releived now, i could never satisfy him in any manner...got it bhaiya zara sa????sunkan

Kamalji,
That was a very touching piece from you. Of course you have stated that you had read it as a story somewhere. But then the husband's concern about the wife if he passes away before and the wife's similar concern about her hubby- these are the thing that make life going. The Love for each other does give us a fillip in lod age. By the way55 is certainly not an age to think about death!
Regards,
Malathi

Kamalji..
So you are 55.....that means ''Umr 55 ki..Dil bachpan ka""
I assume you are tired of writing blogs which make us laugh clinging to our stomach..So you are trying to write the one which will make us cry our heart out...Good try...but ''BEWARE'' don't do it again..

Dear Kamalji,

Like others, I too felt sad to read this mail. Instead, you can think about all the activities you both can enjoy doing now which you could not when you had small children to take care of. Enjoy this freedom and live a wonderful life with Harshaji now.

Kamalji meri bhayya
aapke sare blogs me se yeh bahuth acha hai.. I think this discussion is very essential between couples . You have as always written an exquisite blog.. keep blogin friend:)

Dear Friends,

Excuse me for not replying to everyone individually, which i normally do.I am very touched by gesture and concern for me and Harsha .Let me put forward a few points on yr comments, and on this blog.


1) We are hale and hearty - No health problems touch wood.We are both fine.

2) I am in good spirits - Neither am i depressed or anything.I am in the same jolly spirits, had a game of cards yest with friends, had a nice chick, sorry chicken for lunch and dinner, and the usual pegs.

3) Ready for anything - My dad used to have his will ready, and so me and harsha have our wills ready, whereby we both nominate each other, and incase we both die, then everything divided half and half between our two daughters.


I have seen ladies devasted by their husband's deaths,and the ladies have a hard time in courts and banks, as nomination and wills were not done by the husband.He leaves behind messy finances and rounds of courtrooms for his wife and children.


I beleive that Harsha must know where what i have got, and we both are joint holders in all Bank accounts or nominated .

I dont know why people brush away the topic of death, which is a certanity for all of us.What is there to be sad about this topic.Why not let yr partner know, what he or she can do when u are no more.This has to happen some day.And death never comes announcing, it is sudden.


You all must have been very surprised by my morbid blog, is i may call it so, knowing what a jolly person i am.I am very practical ,and no topic is taboo for me.

Some body once said, i dotn know who

Life is full of misery.If u die soon, u leave misery.If u live a long life, u see the dead bodies of yr dear and near ones, and friends and relatives in front of yur eyes.

So iether way, there is no particular age, when we have to die.Life will always go on without u.So why bother, but let yr dear spouse know what eh or she should do in case u are the one to go away first.

And dont u all worry.I will be posting more jolly and happy go lucky blogs in a day or two, the masala is ready,and here are some of the points of the blog

1) A boxer dog, whose owner charges 10000 per mating , with the dogs of the rich and the famous.
2) Bhajji and Sheesnath slapping.
3) the covered Cheerleaders.these days.

And many many moer topics, i have to see the clipping that i have cut out.

Thank u all so much for yr kind comments I am very touched.Harsha dosnt know of this blog,why bother her.

So cheers with a cup of coffee, all of u,thank u all once again.Regards.kamal

Kamalji
Speculating about death is quite natural .sometime we do think about it ,so this is one of those days for u. This is quite normal.
Yes it is quite difficult to live without children & this is the age when children usually leaves parents for studing or got marrige & settle down.
With two daughters it is still more so in our Indian society . Me & my husband sell in the same boat having two gaughters & both are away at hostels studing ,one doing MBA & younger one at school in class 12th. So I can understand that lonlyness very much.
This is also very necessary for one to have good finicial support for both husband & wife in coming old age.
This is true that we are made scared of death right from childhood ,Actually it is the fear of unknown that what happens after ?
U know the question which Yaksha asked Yudhister - What is the biggest surprize & yudhister answered that People know that death is amust ,see people dying everyday yet forget that they could die .

Dear Kamalji,

I am your silent reader of your blogs since I have become a member recently. First time I am giving my thoughts because it is a sad blog for all of us to think about our end. It is true that nobody can escape from it. But God has his own plans for His people. So do not worry about tomorrow. Live and enjoy “today” and tomorrow is another day which will become “today” for us. I would like to quote the God’s word from the Bible

Isaiah 55:8-9 (New Living Translation)

New Living Translation (NLT)
Holy Bible. New Living Translation copyright © 1996, 2004 by Tyndale Charitable Trust. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers.
8 “My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord.
“And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine.
9 For just as the heavens are higher than the earth,
so my ways are higher than your ways
and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.


So be happy and though this blog is a reality for everybody, we will not ponder upon it. God will take care of you and all of us.
Best regards
Vinoran

Dear Kamalji
It looks like you were testing us all...........
Good to see you back your reply was great.................now waiting for the next blog.

I know, Kamalji is not of this type of the person, who thinks about and writes emotionally about death, which is certain....
I think you want to cover all the topics in your blog...

These kind of things going on in one's mind clearly shows how he/she loves his/her family....the same kind of thought went through my hubby when he had the by-pass....


sriniketan