The Married Widow

THE MARRIED WIDOW

There was a lot of chaos in the station as the people were hustling and bustling to get to their seats. Vaidehi looked out of the window at the station. She bid her final adieu to Mumbai, the city of many dreams and her nightmares...
Tiara was sweating profusely and she blew soft breeze on her face, as Tiara smiled the knowing smile. It would have been hot and frustrating, but just the smile of this tiny tot had so much of calming effect on her.
Just then Veshumma came in with 2 glasses of chai. Vaidehi took one and sipped. She looked out again once more, loving the place but hoping she never visits here again.
A couple of minutes later the train moved ahead and so did Vaidehi’s life…….
Vaidehi had been the daughter of a lecturer in a college in <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-comffice:smarttags" /><st1:City><st1lace>Bangalore</st1lace></st1:City>. She had grown up with a lot of values and principals and had been very generously gifted with both beauty and talent. She barely finished her schooling and she had been getting proposals for her hand in marriage. A mother less child, her father had always been carrying on the responsibility of raising her as a mother and father. He never rushed her into marriage enjoying seeing the fruits of his labour, love and affection growing so wonderfully.
Finally one day cupid struck and she fell in love with a very wealthy businessman from Mumbai. He had come to <st1:City><st1lace>Bangalore</st1lace></st1:City> on business trip and was totally floored by the beauty of this girl who had come to her friends house to meet her, the house that happened to belong to his cousin.
Arjun was totally mesmerized. Vaidehi too was enamoured by his looks. She too wished to get married to this boy. She asked her friend Tulasi about Arjun and was a regular visitor at Tulasis place on one pretext or another.
She had a very open relation with her father. She always discussed everything with him so told him that she liked this person. Around that time Arjuns uncle too came to their house with the proposal. Krishnaswamy or <st1lace>Krishna</st1lace> master as he was popularly called was very skeptical. Life and experiences told him that this wasn’t a very good match. He told Arjun’s uncle that the difference in the status would definitely pose a problem for his little daughter and she might have to bear the brunt of not being very rich. His college salary let them live a very comfortable but unluxurious life. Comfortable and contended.
The uncle did his best to convince him. He also met with Arjun, who told him that he merely wanted Vaidehi to be his wife and he wasn’t looking at money.
Finally the marriage was fixed for the next month. Arjun left and was to come for the wedding with his family. Krishnaswamy went with Arjuns uncle to Mumbai to meet the family. Though the family didn’t seem genuinely interested about getting their only son married to the daughter of a middle class professor. Their reservations and lack of comments seemed to be an indication of an impending misfortune.
On his return back though he hated to tell all this to his eager daughter, yet he explained things to her. He hoped she would understand and probably agree to marry someone from the own status in <st1:City><st1lace>Bangalore</st1lace></st1:City>. A few of his ex students who were now well settled in their life had expressed their desire to take Vaidehis hand in marriage. But Vaidehi never thought that she would ever fall in love , infact she was very sure till recently that she would marry a man of her Father’s choice , but now she was already blinded in love. She was fascinated by the whole idea of being a bride to one of the most eligible man. An envy of all her friends.
A week before the wedding Arjun came. He was unescorted by his family that sent a few gossip mills churning and Krishnaswamy was indeed worried but a day before the wedding his family joined him. Though they were present they still looked very disinterested as though forced to be there by their son.
After the wedding Vaidehi moved to her new world. Her father cried like a baby. All wisdom, all pre planning not to shed tears failed as Fatherhood and motherhood took over. He prayed that his baby always be happy and Arjun promised him that he would keep her so.
Vaidehi moved to her new home and family. Hostility that was evident in the in-laws during the marriage was further strengthened here. Her in-laws resented the fact that their only son had done something as stupid as marrying a middle class girl where all the big names of industrialists were waiting with their daughters hand for him in marriage.
She was constantly reminded of how unfit she was for this elite family.
She was treated well by him though he was mostly out of this house from the first day of their coming here ,busy with his work . But those first days she was occupied in looking around the huge mansion called home and though she was a rational girl, she was overawed with all the luxury, things that she had only heard , read or watched in movies The initial ten day were very blissful.

The eleventh day he announced that he had to go to US . She wanted to go with him but then he was going on business and explained to her that in a foreign land he couldn’t leave her alone.
She agreed to stay back but was very unhappy. He would be gone for a week and she didn’t know anyone here and had to adjust to very indifferent in-laws.
He left for the <st1:country-region><st1lace>US</st1lace></st1:country-region> and his parents did all to make her uncomfortable. She had but one soul mate, Veshuamma, the maid of the house. She understood her and would often try to be with her. She enjoyed the care Veshuamma was bestowing on her, very motherly something that she missed always and something she had expected from Arjuns mother.
Arjun was supposed to arrive in a week. He called to say he would be delayed by a few days. One day she was missing him terribly. It was around 2 in the afternoon . Well it must be night in the <st1:country-region><st1lace>US</st1lace></st1:country-region> . He won’t be busy. I can talk to him for a few minutes she thought. She dialled his number and a lady with a husky voice picked up with an accented ‘Hello’. She thought she had dialled the wrong number and dialled again. This time again the lady picked up. Afraid she asked for Arjun. “He’s asleep, Who’s this?’ asked the lady. Vaidehi hung up. Who must this lady be she wondered.with a churning feeling in her stomach. Veshuamma entered the room with her cup of tea. “What happened” , she asked looking at Vaidehi’s face. “Veshuamma I just called him and some lady picked up the line”. As if knowing something Veshuamma muttered , “I hoped he would change after marriage”. Vaidehi wondered what she was talking about. She looked quizzically at Veshuamma, who tried cheering her up” Oh don’t worry dear everything will be alright dear”. Yet Vaidehi felt something was amiss.
Arjun arrived back after two weeks and though he seemed happy to see her, he was preoccupied. She tried to find out about the girl at US but then left it, thinking he wouldn’t like to be probed. She would wait for a good time to broach that topic she thought. Things weren’t as it was a couple of months back but then a honey moon doesn’t go on forever ,she pacified herself.. Yet she couldn’t stop herself any longer so one day she asked him about this girl in US. “Oh Ramona, shes a good friend of mine “,he said dismissively. “But Arjun she was with you at night”. “Oh don’t act like an uneducated village belle,” was all he said ,as if indicating that the topic was closed.
The next month he took her for a party. The first one she was attending. Actually she had been insisting on accompanying him to the various parties that he frequented without taking her. But he always went alone on some pretext or the other. But this one she kept persisting and finally irritated he relented. He asked her to wear some western outfit. He had got some short skirts, jeans and things which she wasn’t accustomed to wearing. She felt extremely uncomfortable and told him that she would wear a saree. That triggered their first fight.”Do you want everyone to know that I have married a village belle”, he fumed. “Oh , do you regret it?” she asked .He didn’t reply... She finally agreed and wore a party gown that she found was very revealing and she was very uncomfortable in it. She went for the party and felt like odd one out. This party wasn’t what she had envisioned. This was full of men and women drinking and smoking and dancing senselessly and falling all over each other. She felt very lost and scared. Arjun excused himself and walked across to meet a couple of friends. She saw him talking to a few girls and saw a couple of them kissing him on his cheeks. She was extremely uncomfortable. Witnessing someone kissing her husband brought some strange feeling in her stomach. She walked straight to her husband and held his hand. He looked at her in discomfort yet introduced her. One of the ladies said”You lucky woman your conquest had been my amour for a long time. Lucky you”. Vaidehi sneered at her. Look he’s not a conquest. He is my husband. Arjun looked at her angrily, warning her to keep her comments to herself. This lady went ahead and kissed him on his lips right in front of Vaidehi. Vaidehi didn’t know what came over her. She placed a tight resounding slap on the face of this dirty woman. How dare she? And before she could say anything she was aghast to see that her husband was all over this woman trying to pacify her. She quietly walked to a corner hoping that lump in her throat doesn’t give up. Suddenly she felt a mans voice with a throaty laughter beside her. She looked to find a French bearded bespectacled man. He said “Surprised? Well this is high society dear .Here ones husband comes with his wife but leaves with another’s:’ He ended again with that insane laughter. She felt stifled, throttled .She wanted to breathe. What the hell was he saying? He must be mad. She wanted to go home, she looked up but could not find her husband, Where was he? After a few minutes he emerged from the bar with this lady in hand. He came and stood by her. When she opened her mouth to speak he silenced her with “You need to apologize to Kash” “I will not” she said sternly. She suddenly felt she had more integrity in her little finger than these ladies had in their whole body! She walked out from there and said “Arjun I am waiting for you near the car”. Once out she struggled to gain her composure and she wondered what was happening ? What kind of a person was Arjun really? She wondered if he had been hiding behind a façade. If so she wished that Tulasi and her father had been honest about it.
After a few minutes and what seemed like hours Arjun came fuming. “Grow up village girl,”he almost screamed, “you got me thoroughly embarrassed today. Don’t you know how to behave?” “No I cannot get social with a woman who’s all over my husband”
They went home and then began her walk through one of the most difficult phases of her life. Over their fights she came to know that Arjun married a village belle, hoping to find a very submissive female who’ll dance to his fancies, but here was a professor’s daughter who fought for her rights, her husband.
Now it was the entire brigade against her. Initially whenever her mother in law complained about her Arjun would shield and protect her. Now he seemed too immersed in himself. One day she decided to check out what went wrong,’ “Arjun what have I done wrong. Why are you moving away.from me. This distance is killing. I am feeling very insecure. I am desperate for your comfort. Arjun was just getting ready to sleep. “I am tired, want to sleep” “Please don’t do this. I am very scared “, she said.” I have left everything and come to you. “Everything what everything? what have you left apart from your father?”. She was too shocked to speak. What was happening? This wasn’t the man that she had married. “You knew me well before marriage. Why did you marry me then knowing that I will not be able to adjust to this kind of society”?” Well don’t adjust but don’t interfere .I have given you enough wealth, now if you cannot gel with my crowd then stay away from them. Don’t you ever interfere in my mingling with them”. Her head was spinning. Dear God! What was he saying? No there must be some mistake. She will let him sleep and speak tomorrow. This must be his stress that he is talking like this.
The next morning she tried to broach the topic very subtly. “Arjun what is happening?” she asked.“ Whats happening is that I have made a mistake my family warned me against marrying a middle class village girl like you but I thought that I could change you, make you see things in my way.” “What way Arjun? I am ready to be modern, ready to wear the clothes you want me to, ready to entertain your friends at home ready to go out with you, but I am not ready to see some woman all over you Arjun. Is that wrong? Would you be able to see me with some other man?” Oh please don’t talk like those typical middle class females. This is a modern world and we have to move with the times”. “You mean that you wouldn’t mind?” “No not at all” , This sent shivers through her spine Oh my God!! What was happening?. Here is a husband who doesn’t mind his wife seen with other men. Where was even these kind of words heard in her village? As a parting shot he said, “Listen Lady when I married you I thought ,you would just be the quiet village belle that the girls in the village normally are. You wouldn’t interfere in my life and would merely follow what I wish you to do. I hadn’t bargained for this kind of everyday interrogation. I’ve given you wealth ,enjoy it and let me be. Ever heard of no strings attached?” He walked off carrying with him all her unfinished dreams and desires and throwing her in a desert where she was thirsty for love.
After that day began her tryst with life. Things just got from bad to worse and the saddest part was that there was no explanation. She hadn’t done anything wrong,
She tried to be a good wife , that wasn’t really wanted and a daughter in law that was treated worse than a domestic help .She was being tortured. Maybe some Karma of the previous birth, she sighed. She struggled for existence. She took everything in her stride. Whenever her strength gave up she cried on Veshuamma shoulders. She kept hoping against hope that things would change. She will find her place in this house. She waited ....
All this went on till the day she came back one evening from the temple on Shiv Ratri day. She had been fasting all day for Arjun. She returned home .The temple was so crowded that it took her two hours to get a darshan. She reached home and decided to complete the pooja. She went to her bedroom to change into a red saree. She opened the door and was surprised to find her husband and a woman enjoying their drink sitting too close for comfort. She was too shocked to speak. She felt faint and giddy. Her legs were wobbling.”Arjun” she called meekly. He didn’t respond .Probably her voice was lost in the laughter of this other woman “Arjun” she said again and this time it was fierce . Arjun turned around to see her, no remorse, no guilt on his face. This other woman said, “Oh you must be Vaidehi. Can I call you Vids? Vaidehi is just too…..”… hahaha she laughed. “Well I am Shells. Won’t you introduce us Ari dahling” she purred. Arjun said “Meet her she is a good friend of mine”. Shells laughed, “Friend? Yes a friend who keeps you warm and snuggly”… Vaidehi just couldn’t hear anymore . She quiely walked out . Here she was fasting for her husband while he sat in the bed room with a …….
She had no more strength . She went and picked up the phone and dialled her father . His soft Hello brought tears trickling down her face. He sounded so old and weary . She wouldn’t want to burden him with problems . After all didn’t he ask her not to marry this person. Quietly she kept the phone down. Just then the phone rang . She picked it up ,expecting her father ... Some man on the line asked for Veshu. Veshuamma came and answered the phone. Her daughter was seriously sick . A case of pneumonia. She was in hospital. Veshuamma began silently crying . Her daughter lived about 10 kms away. Vaidehi forgot all her sorrows and decided to accompany Veshuamma . After all no one in this house would miss her. She hailed a cab and they went to Kurla where Saritha lived . Saritha had married a Catholic Yohan and they had a 3 year old daughter .A year after their daughter was born Yohan had died in an accident . From then Saritha had no wish to live. She merely survived for Tiara. Tiara such a beautiful name They reached the house and asked for the hospital address. They reached Rajawadi hospital . The doctors pronounced her dead . Veshuamma was grief stricken. .There in the crowd of the hospital and amidst all cry Vaidehi eyes fell on a little girl tugging a Veshuammas saree.”Don’t cry Ammuma. I am there for you.” The strength of this tiny girl overwhelmed Vaidehi who instantly picked her up .This beautiful little girl looked at her . This kid had tears in her eyes but wasn’t bawling and screaming. Vaidehi felt a strange connection with her. She was so sweet and so brave Vaidehi had always wanted a daughter like this . Vaidehi hugged Tiara and it sent a rush of maternal instincts all over her body . Vaidehi held her tight as if fearing to let her go. The whole night she witnessed the strength of a little girl , a girl barely 3 ft high , but had an amazing courage . Probably Saritha’s mothers illness and her basic lack of interest in life had taught this girl to survive and how !. Vaidehi was too fascinated by her. Even at this tender age she had enough fortitude to take care of her Ammuma and to take on the world. She had probably been the pillar of support for her mother.
Vaidehi waited there the whole night and left the next day after the rites . She called Arjun twice on his cell and then left a message when he didn’t anwer. He never once called her.to find out where she was. She told Veshuamma she would be back if need arises.
When she reached home , her mother in law opened the door . “So with whom did you spend the night.”,,she asked. Stunned and shocked at this immoral question Vaidehi looked at her husband who was seated on the dining table . Seeing that there was no answer she replied in a cool voice that was unknown to her own self, “I am not like your son . Spending night and day with different women is his passion not mine .” There was a thunderous sound as her mother in law slapped her. Vaidehi herself didn’t know from where she had the courage to speak like this. She looked at her mother in law and said “I can give this to you too but my father would’nt approve”.
She went to her bedroom ,as her mother in law screamed from behind , “Get out of my house you dirty woman you lowly creature ,we don’t have place for you here”.
Vaidehi picked up a few of her clothes and packed her bags. She had made her decision . What transformed her? she wondered , Probably the sight that a small orphan all alone in the world looked stronger than her . If a small child had the strength why not she. ?
Just as she entered the living room, that now seemed so spacious yet dead , she placed her bags down and turned to her mother inlaw. “You know Mrs. Reddy, Sorry I just cannot bring myself to call you ‘Mummy’ ,that would be an insult to this word. When I got married I was happy that I will now have a mother , someone I craved for my entire life , though my father managed beautifully ,yet there was this desire to have a mother , to know how it feels to utter the word Ma. But you cannot be that one. You have failed terribly, no not as a mother to me , but as a mother to your so called only son. You could’nt instill any qualitites in him , how could you? When you yourself are so hollow. You live an ostentatious life and pretend to be happy. Your son is a philanderer and that’s acceptable, infact it is applauded . Good ! Great! But then that’s to expect from Mothers like you . These so called high society Moms .And Papa well the less said the better . Knowing my Father I wonder how can there ever be a father like Mr. Shetty, Your son can commit a crime and he’s forgiven , he can play with a woman’s life and he’s excused whereas I went out to help Veshuamma and I am treated like a whore.
Infact I should thank you , thankyou for giving me the opportunity to see this dark side of life , a side I would have been oblivious to had I continued living in the heaven ,called my home, my father’s home. Now I know what is hell, hence would be able to appreciate heaven better. One more thing , no one, absolutely no one has been able to live peacefully in their life after torturing a woman. I move on to freedom but though I hope you live a happy life , yet I know the two things you will miss till your death is happiness and peace and all this money will not be able to buy you that! She then turned to her husband. Do I need to tell you what I feel about you?. You who promised to love me , promised to care for me, promised to give me happiness, Well what a man of words! I might find all this now but you will never. I move on to my life Mr. Arjun and from this moment I have nothing to do with you. I consider you dead . Dead because you being there couldn’t support me when I was being tortured by your family , infact you added to it.. Dead because though I was here you never needed me. Dead because there is no life with you for me! You may continue your numerous flings, but please in future do not play around with any other innocent girl the way you did to me. I am pretty strong , your next conquest might not be. So Mr. Arjun to hell with you and your family!”
She picked up her bags and left , while her husband and family looked on with their mouths wide open.
A bad phase of life she thought . She was a strong woman she will not fall at their mercy she would not cry ,she will survive without this beast called a husband.
As she hailed a cab she went straight to the hutment of Veshuamma . Veshuamma hugged her , “Don’t worry Mole,I understand you’ve been through enough. Ponnhu Suji Anangilim Kannil kuthiyal ,Kannha Potum ale? (Even if it your favourite needle ,it can break your eyes if it pokes doesn’t it?),she said knowingly, out came Tiara running towards her. Tiara the child who instilled motherhood in her ,Tiara the kid who unknowingly made her strong , Tiara the kid who awoke the strong woman in her, Tiara who she knew instinctively would be with her for the rest of her life!!.
The train halted and all the passengers rushed to the door . But she wasnt expecting anyone .She hadn’t informed her father. It was best to explain things to him rather than let him go through hell wondering what happened.
Krishnaswamy was very disturbed on hearing everything but glad that his daughter came back safe and sound . Yes he had to deal with the society and yes there would be a lot of tongues wagging , but he and his daughter would brave it all. They would face it with head held high . After all what did Vaidehi do? .She merely married the man she loved . If she was abused it wasn’t her fault.
The next week she went for her interview at the college where her father spent his entire life . Her interviewer was very happy with her qualification and said , “ I guess you are exactly the professor we were looking for . One last question though . Your marital status ,you haven’t mentioned it.” She thought for a second . Well what do you call a marriage where the man doesnt mind sharing his wife ,where the man doesn’t support his wife , where the man spends his nights in the arms and bed of other women… “WIDOW” ,she answered… and life moved on!



Love,
Devika

 

Dear Mindi,

Thankyou so much for writing in!! Yes its amazing to sometimes see how a small child can kindle enough strength in you!
Love,
Devika

 

Dear Aishu,

Thanks for the opening comment. I 'm just worried about your opticianRantme for the font. I tried dear but I guess the content is more so will not fit in here.
Well Yes Vaidehi is a strong woman and I absolutely salute woman who face these adversities and emerge a winner. In true sense she is a winner, coz not many would be able to do it in our still male dominated society where its really tough to stand for yourself.
Love,
Devika

 

Dear Krittika,

Sorry about your eye strain dear. Thanks you went thru it despite it!!BowI am glad you admired the courage of Vaidehi!

Love,
Devika