How we celebrated an Iyengar Marriage at Hyderabad

"Inka koncham 'peruchali' veyandi",saidthe man from Kakinada!

My second sister in law, Vasudha’s marriage was finalized. The boy was a chartered accountant, working in Hyderabad and living with his parents at Hyderabad.. Enquiries made by my husband gave very good reports about his character.His boss said that he would surely come up in life, he being a sincere ,hard working boy.My sister in law was a post graduate, well versed in carnatic music.So the match seemed very good.
There was one issue that bothered all at home except my husband and my MIL.That was, we are iyengars and speak Tamil at home ,where as the boy and his family including his parents were born and brought up in Andhra.So, eventhough they were also Iyengars, they spoke only Telugu .We ,the bride’s people knew not a word of Telugu and the boy’s people could not understand a word of Tamil.My father in law had his doubts about giving his daughter in marriage into a fly, who could not even speak Tamil.But my husband and my MIL stood firm.My husband felt that the boy was a very good person,the family was good and the boy’s father spoke excellent English,he being a college professor and my husband was very impressed with him.
My MIL depending on her native intelligence, felt that a C.A son in law will go places and that her daughter could be taught to speak in Telugu within no time.
My SIL being a good girl said,”Whatever my brother does will be for my good.I have full faith in him”(.Hats off to her,she maintains that stand even today and even for her daughter’s marriage my husband’s advice is the first one they solicit.)
Now, the big question arose.Where to conduct the marriage?.The boy’s parents said,”We have no objection to your celebrating the marriage at Madras, but we are a big family and our son’s friends will also attend the wedding,so you have to make arrangements for the travel and boarding and lodging of around 500 people for the marriage”.My husband being a stout hearted person, at that time ,did not faint on hearing this.Fortunately my husband was working in Hyderabad,we were living there, so we decided to celebrate the marriage at Hyderabad,not knowing what we were letting ourselves in for.
The marriage party ie my parents in law,my married sil,her husband and her children, other sils including the bride to be ,my BILS, all of them unmarried at that time ,landed in Hyderabad one week before the marriage.By that time my husband had fixed the marriage mandapam,bought the nitty grittys required.
When they arrived, we saw that my BILs who were a jovial, cheerful type, were glum and listless.My husband thinking that may be they were tired after the journey, told them to take complete rest.They blurted out,”Kanna, life at home has become very difficult after finalizing Vasu’s marriage”
“Why,money problem?”asked my husband solicitiouly.
‘No Kanna,ever since the marriage has been fixed, our mother has started talking to us in Telugu.She says that all of us should try and talk to Vasu also in Telugu.Yesterday mother told me to buy brinjal in Telugu,I bought onion and came home, only to get a mouthful from her”My brother in law’s face had become small,so were the others’.
Oblivious to all the happenings at home, the bride Vasu was sitting in a room with a serous expression on her face holding in her hand , the book “Learn Telugu in 30 days” and a note book and pen,my FIL sat by her side to give her moral support.

Five days were left for the marriage.Both my daughters,toddlers at that time, were very happy, because in the entire house ,the floor was littered with things like newly bought bedsheets,clothes,big utensils,fruits,vegetables(what the fridge could not accommodate)etc and they were having a wonderful time, examining everything in detail.

The D day arrived.We, the bride’s people, arrived in the mandapam one day earlier to supervise the arrangements.The mandapam was a huge bungalow,the ground floor was let out for one marriage party and the first floor was given for another marriage party.We were given the first floor.
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It was Muhurtham month with many marriages taking place in different parts of the city.Almost all the reasonably good cooks had already been engaged by the time we started searching for a cook.It was with great difficulty that my husband had engaged Sudarsan,the cook who was quite well known as a good cook in secunderabad.H e was very expensive,but we could not do anything about that.He made a grand entry on the previous afternoon with his assistants in tow.My husband introduced Sudarsan to my MILas the one who was going to make the marriage a grand one.Here I must tell you one thing.One may spend lakhs and thousands of money on a grand mandapam,gifts to the guests etc etc.But if the food served is not up to the mark,people would say,”Hmm,what marriage did they celebrate,even a beggar would have given a better marriage to his daughter!”.Such is the importance given to the food served!.So the cook becomes all important on that day.
My MIL who was a tough nut to crack, looked at Sudarsan and said to him as was her custom,’Sudarsan mama,you have charged lot of money,that does not matter,but the food has to be excellent.You should see to that your assistants are clean,ok!”I looked at my husband with trepidation in my heart and my husband looked at Sudarsan with an abject appeal in his eyes.Luckily for us, Sudarsan did not seem to mind what my MIL said.He simply smiled and went towards the kitchen. “Amma,be careful about what you say to Sudarsan ,he is a tough person you know?”pleaded my husband with his tougher mother.
“Poda,I have seen so many tough cooks in my life,”said my MIL and walked away,nonchalantly.

The next morning all of us got ready for the function.My husband called my MIL and said to her,”Amma,this Sudarsan is an angry old man.One of my friends engaged him for his sister’s wedding.My friend’s father criticized Sudarsan about the way his assistants cooked,do you know what Sudarsan did?”asked my husband,keeping his voice suspenseful.
“What happened?”asked my MIL with interest.
“Well,Sudarsan did not say a word,he got up,called his assistants,returned the advance he had taken from my friend and walked out’said my husband,raising and lowering his voice giving the suitable impression which only an Alfred Hitchcock film can give.My MIL’s face whitened on hearing this.
“Then what happened, you know?”continued my husband.
“What?”asked my MIL.
"My friend and his brother ground the idly atta,his uncles cooked rice and sambhar,his mother took care of chutney,his aunts and athais took care of the sweets,all the available men and women including kids had to serve the food.It was a holy mess, and the sambhandhis were very unhappy because,they also had to chip in and serve food to the guests”,finished my husband, all the time looking at my MIL’s facial expressions.
The next few hours saw my MIL taking care of Sudarsan in a special manner.
She would ask him repeatedly,”Sudarsan,did you take coffee?Sudarsan,take some rest you look tired,Sudarsan, do you want a cool drink?”.
One major issue was taken care of in this manner.

I told you that the kalyana mandapam had two floors and they were let out to two different parties.Even if a small suspicion had occurred in my husband’s mind about the problems we would face in taking one floor of the mandapam,he would rather have agreed to have the wedding at Madras.At the Muhurtham time ,my husband,I and my parents in law were in the Dais with the bridal couple and the bridegroom’s parents.
My BILs ,SILs and other fly members were taking care of the guests and supervising the breakfast being served.The bridegroom’s relatives were comfortably sitting in the AC hall.So,our people who did not know anybody in the crowd were managing the breakfast show.People kept coming for breakfast like ants from an anthill,the cook and his assistants were serving them tirelessly.After some time the cook came and told us," All the idlis are over, there is no atta left,we made uppuma,thats also over.So far 500 people have taken breakfast alone,now what shall I do?”We were stupefied.The bridegroom’s parents had told us that for breakfast,only 200 people would come.
My husband told them to make kichdi and wind up breakfast fast,because it was already getting late
The breakfast went on till 2o’ clock.Then ,a worker in the mandapam told us that people who came to attend the marriage in the ground floor, came up by mistake and having come up, they enjoyed the hospitality offered by our BILs who mistook them for the bridegroom’s side people.
The breakfast was over and the bridegroom’s only sister who had gone to the nearby temple, came in and sat for breakfast with her in laws.We looked at the head cook,he looked inside the kitchen,He called me and said,”Mami,some left over idlis are there They are cold.I will scramble them and make uppuma,nobody will know,we will say it is rice uppuma”I had no option but to agree.Uppuma was served to them,they were half way through,when suddenly the bridegroom’s sister yelled,”No!”,and sprang up. I thought,may be a lizard or some insect had gone inside her petticoat and went near her to shake her dress.She gave me one dirty look and said,”This is not rice uppuma.this is old idli made into uppuma”The cook was willing to swear that it was rice uppuma only, but she would not listen.She created a ruckus.”How can you cheat us on such a small thing and make us look like fools,what do you think we are,some beggars?”.Harsh words no doubt,but we deserved it.
The bridegroom Sridhar,now that the marriage is over we can call him by name,came to our rescue.”Ok,any how you have eaten half the breakfast ,finish the rest also,don’t make a scene”said he, much to our relief.
Then the lunch started.The head cook and his assistants who were tired after making and serving breakfast till 2 o’clock in the afternoon, told us,”Only two of us will help you in serving lunch.You have to manage.”
My husband,his brothers and other volunteers among relatives started serving food.My brother in law was in a foul mood, what with the breakfast episode and the cook not willing to serve lunch.If at that time somebody had said ,”Hi!” to him he would have given that person a punch.
A relative from Vasu’s in law’s side who had come all the way from Kakinada and did not know a word of Tamil, pointed out to what was in the bucket carried and served by my BIL and asked him in chaste Telugu,”Sir,idhi peru emandi?”ie sir what is the name of the dish you are serving?. My BIL who was serving morkhuzhambu,gave him a stare and said in Tamil,”idhu per peruchali” ie this item’s name is 'bandicoot'.
The poor man thought, that was the name and said,’Peruchali bhagundhi,inka koncham peruchali veyandi”ie bandicoot is very nice,give me some more.Suddenly the hall burst into laughter and the mood changed.The man from Kakinada, who had done us this favour,without knowing it,continued enjoying ‘peruchali’.

Vasudha’s marriage was over.The next morning, all of us including Vasudha’s parents in law sat together, had food,chatted amicably.Vasudha left for her in law’s house in a cheerful frame of mind.
We stood at the gate of the mandapam to say ‘goodbye”to her.One of my co sisters who has an uncanny ability of irritating my MIL by saying the right things at the wrong time came and stood near me.She said,”Manni ,Vasu is lucky,you know!”
“Why” I asked her.
“Manni,she does not know Telugu,her mother in law does not know Tamil.So there won’t be any fights between them,you know!”said she wistfully.Thankfully my MIL was a comfortable distance away from us and so my sil was spared!.

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Thoroughly enjoyed the read...

It was as if I was one of your family and clueless of what might happen next :) it was a great write up Mithila... you are awesome...

Dear mithila ma m

Excellent writeup.very interesting to read.

bye
kapuchu

Dear Mithila maam,

Excellent piece of writing and narration in a very simple and unique way of urs...
Enjoyed Throughly.....

Cheers
vaidehi

Dear Mithila mam,

Yet another delight...hilarious...I was laughing loud, that my colleague started asking for the story, I had to somehow explain him in english,...dont know what he understood, but started lauging with me....

I like the part 'peruchali bhaha undhi',excellant writeup.Keep going,we are expecting more from you.

Dear Mithila,

Wonderul write up.I competely enjoyed reading every line.Fantastic.
You know Mithila you remind me of Santa who comes with his sack full of toys and goodies for the kids.You have your sack full of intersting anecdotes that all of us want to lap up and relish.. Looking forward to your next one.

Love,
Devika

Dear Mithila Ma'am,
I was visualised all the marriage description and visualised you as my own Mom who is the eldest DIL and as my Grand Mom has passed away long back, she has to arrange everything during any family function.....finance/arrangement.....and finally the very next day she used to have a cracked voice because of constant talking all 4 days (marriage rituals).......
But it was really fun to visualise everything thr ur write ups....
regards.

Dear Mithila Mam,

i throughly enjoyed reading the post and your description of events is awesome
mam
Looking forward to read many many more from you....

mithilaa maam,
as usual....besh besh....! indha kadhayum baaga undhi...

rgds,
sowpar