Are we setting the right example?

Lalitha Shivaguru · Apr 2, 2008

Today I was coming from my office. I have to catch two buses to reach my place. The place where I change my bus is called Majestic, this is the central bust stand of Bangalore. Normally, from this place I come with my DH, but today due to some other work Dh had asked me to go by bus. So I was here, waiting for my bus. When the bus came, we got in and I occupied one of the window seats.

In front of me was seated a small boy aged aroun 8-10 yrs with his mother. Lot of ladies were standing as it was the peak hour. One lady requested the lady to adjust or make the child sit on her lap, there ensued a verbal dual. The lady (kid's mother) started telling she is buying tickets and her son will sit in the seat only and she will not share with anybody. The lady who requested did not want to continue the fight and left it at that point. This instigated my process of thinking. Are we setting the right example? Are we not displaying utter selfishness? There is no concern about other fellow human beings. If the lady had adjusted, nothing much would have happened atleast another person could have sat and relaxed. She could have atleast set an example to her child to care for fellow beings.

When are we going to wakeup and really start observing small things which is sending wrong signals to the New Gen ?

ANK · Apr 2, 2008

Hi Lalitha,

I agree with u! What kind of example is the mother setting for her child?? I have a son too, born and brought up outside India. To this day, he touches elders feet when we go to India, even here. And when some one older enters the room, and if there is not enough chairs, he gets up and seats the person! I feel good abt. it now, only after one of the aunties pointed out that he was such a wonderful boy, in an age where kids are forgetting the basic manners, empathy and sympathy for human beings. You should have given that lady a piece of ur mind!

Sujimallige · Apr 2, 2008

Dear Lalitha,

I completely agree with u that the mother must have adjusted and made place for another woman and set an example for her son.But I really feel like adding my experience here.Pls dont feel offended as I am not opposing ur intent here,just sharing my experience.
I am originally from bangalore.I also used to use bus to work and had to change in the Main Majestic bus stand.So i know how it is to commute.
I am a slim woman so many times i have had the experience of people asking me to push in a bit and allow them to sit.Initially i used to agree even tough it used to be v uncomfortable.But twice what happened was 2 really huge woman sat next to me and they left so much of their weight on me that I had to apply moove and take hot water bath as soon as reaching home.So after that i stopped adjusting to people.See we r willing to help people and there are many who misuse that also.So I feel what will happen to small children if women put their weight on them.We adults can atleast understand what we r feeling and take treatment but kids cant even do that.
I just wanted to say that we need to help but sometimes we have to become selfish if the other person is harming us.
Just my cents and my share here,no offense meant to anybody.

suji

Sujimallige · Apr 2, 2008

Dear ANK,

Really sweet to know abt ur son and his gud culture.
May God bless him.

suji

puni88 · Apr 2, 2008

Hi Lalitha,
Me too from Bangalore and I know how difficult it was to commute during collage and working days.
I agree with you that mom should have behaved properly and made her son to get up or adjust with other fellow lady.
But now a days in India that too with so much population it has become "survival to fittess".
Even if you help others, I think people will not remember it or be thankful to it.
People memory is short lived.
But this is not the discussion here..... we need to teach kids to behave good with others (elder/youngers), to speak always truth, not to cheat anybody etc etc....
same time we need to teach them to be self defensive too.....
Kids learn most of the things from parents. Until unless we practice, they are not going to learn.

Regards.

APassionateOne · Apr 3, 2008

A real time experience people go through every day in India. Yes, the mother should have adjusted, put the kid on her lap and should have taken a little responsible action which would have been such an investment in her child's growing personality. Now the kid learns to be selfish too and you know what ..Ha..ha.I cannot stop smiling, he may actually use this selfishness to push his mother out of his life!

People have to realize that anything in front of any child (Not just theirs) should be done responsibly. Because once the kid grows up, he/she may view and treat the society in the same manner.

But people have so many different experiences traveling/commuting in India. Being someone who started commuting to school in very crowded buses since the age 5 - my commute helped me to understand a tiny bit of this world.

A good one lalitha.

Anandchitra · Apr 3, 2008

my dear friend lallu
you write so well... I am not surprised.. this is the norm today..what to do???

Sriniketan · Apr 3, 2008

Lalitha,
What you have expressed here is right, I totally agree with other ilites too...we should be an eg. to our children or any other children...like charity begins at home....

sriniketan

Lalitha Shivaguru · Apr 3, 2008

Dear ANK,

Wonderful son you have got. Blessed are you. Iam not boasting but my kids are also the same as we are in a Joint family whenever there are shortage of chairs, immediately my elder one will make way for her grandmother or GF.

I really appreciate them for this. Do appreciate your son's good qualities.

Thanx for coming here.

Lalitha Shivaguru · Apr 3, 2008

Dear Sujimallige,

Nice name you have got. Seeing your name itself, I understood you too are from Bangalore. I love that flower also.

Sorry to note about your experience and the after effects. Agreed, people of both extremes are there. In this connection, the mother could have made the boy sit on her lap, and made way and set an example in building her son's character but the way she argued she has taught her son to be more selfish & quarellsome. Do keep coming......