Does this happen to you also?

PushpavalliSrinivasan · Mar 31, 2008

Call any friend or relative over phone, pat comes the reply, " I was just thinking of calling you." It is our habit to call our close relatives and friends at least once in a month to enquire about their welfare. Except one person , my sister's daughter about whom I have mentioned in my last thread used to call me at least once in a week and used to have a long chat. She is no more now, but still her voice is echoing in my ears.How I miss her now! Also my second sister's daughters also always will keep in touch.
Our Telco friends will call us if they wanted to get any other friend's number because we keep track of all the friends.
Some times I'll tell my DH that I would stop calling those who are not reciprocating. But he would say," Why do you want to change yourself? Perhaps they might be very busy." He would dial the number and give the phone to me. Of course there are one are two friends who would call at least once a month.
What about you all? Are you also sailing in the same boat?

Devika Menon · Mar 31, 2008

Dear Pushpaji,

Nice thread,

I cannot thank Graham Bell enough for his invention. What would life be without telephones. God!!!!. For someone like me as my hubby says I am married to it.
Yes I do keep in touch with all my friends . Most of them have been my best friends for more than 20 years and still going strong.! . Among them they are 2 friends with whom I have been talking daily for the past few decades. Infact if I do not talk to them even for a single day my day is incomplete.
Yes but I am a bit selfish in this. My love for them needs to be reciprocated. It just cannot be onesided. And I wonder if this a transferable trait because now I find my daughter too yapping on the phone away to glory!!
Yes Pushpaji for me it is important to keep in touch .

Love,
Devika

Huma · Mar 31, 2008

hi

yeah, i am also in the same boat....i keep contact with everybody in my life but they don't reciprocate...but i still continue because at least some of them keep in keep in touch with me.

i have long chat with my mother in India, my brother and my best friend from France. i called them once a week....send sms on cellphone to my friend.

take care

Vysan · Mar 31, 2008

Dear PS,

I feel like talking to a person, I immediately call that person... I dont think in terms of why they didnt call us, why should we call and all those things... I like to talk to him/her... so I call... It is something like... I love a person... It is not necessary that they should have the same feelings towards me... It is not a barter.... I used to get a huge beating from my DW... because of the telephone bills... Now fortunately escaped for some time, as she is in India... hahahahaha... Hope she does not read this and RantRantRantRant...bonkbonk...

But I cant accept people just make up for not calling by saying, just now thought of calling you... My immediate reply will be," OK, I will keep the phone down, you please call me"...

So... pls do keep calling all those you love...

I dont mind pm ing my/DW no... and would love to be pampered by wellwishers calling us and enquiring.... Big LaughBig LaughBig LaughBig Laugh

Veda

Sindhuja · Mar 31, 2008

Dear Pushpa Ji,

A very interesting topic.
Yes, I am sailing in the same boat too!

I love talking to friends and relatives. I will always try to be in touch with my friends. If they don't call me for a month or so, I will think ok they are busy. When I call them again, they will say that they were about to call me (from next time going to follow Veda sir's technique). But if they do not call me for long time, I don't feel like calling them again. But I give them e-mail greetings on their birthdays and anniversaries.

Dear Veda sir,
I enjoyed reading your post. What you have said is true. Will surely try.

Arunarc · Mar 31, 2008

Hi Pushpa
Yes me too sailing in the same boat............hope the boat don't sink off with so many of us in it.....................Big LaughBig Laugh

I don't wait for a person to call If I feel like speaking to anyone I just call them and talk to them..............many of my calls being international I prefer to call them once a month in case I don't get to see them online for a long time.
The only person I cannot call is my sis. becoz she is having a hugh family and whenever I call her by the time she comes to the phone it will be 5 minutes and ISD is too expensive for waste of time. So I ask her to call meHarhar
More then phones I think I am online having a good time with friends and relatives.

So Sure · Mar 31, 2008

Pushpa,

Interesting thread!!

I call our families ( both my hubby's and mine) regularly. No matter what! If they forget to call and wish my kids "Happy Birthday", I call and say " Today is Chutti's birthday. Here, talk to her!! ".
I have a few friends whom i call regularly. They will call if I dont and yell at me.
But I dont think I say "I was thinking of calling you" to any others when I was not. I understand people are busy. As I am. So, I understand if they dont call, as they will understand if I dont call! If I feel like talking, I just pick up the phone and call.
Regards,
Sharada

Sriniketan · Mar 31, 2008

Dear Mrs.PS,
As aruna pointed out..is there a space in the boat, let me hop in...
see to it that the boat is big enough to accomodate all of us...

sriniketan

Nandshyam · Apr 1, 2008

Interesting

I am a person who keeps contacts with those who at least reciprocate normally. I don't like to pester people and have THEM talk to me If I call a couple of times and still they don't get back.. then that's it.. bubye.. if they think my contact isnt worth it, then same goes this way too.

I kinda feel, if people really love and want to maintain contact with us, they wouldnt miss talking to us. I understand if once or twice they might be busy, but if this keeps going on, I dont see a point.

Now coming to the question... Am I sailing in the same boat. Nah.. As explained before, I had made sure my friends and families know what kinda expectations I have. So the contacts I have are mutual..

SoaringSpirit · Apr 1, 2008

Dear PS,

I hear you. Please let me hop onto your boat too! J

Well, I absolutely love interacting with people. I have a few close friends from all phases of my life (right from elementary school till now) that I keep in regular contact with. For the time I am interacting with them I get transported to that particular phase of my life and I enjoy it to the hilt. So yes, keeping touch is very important for me and I really thrive on it. Getting an email, an IM, a card or a letter from a friend really makes my day.

With most people once the relationship goes beyond a certain level, I don’t care much for their reciprocal phone call or email etc. But until the time this relationship is in its building phase, it is important for me that the other person also show some amount of enthusiasm in taking the friendship to the next level. If there is no reciprocal action then to me it reflects lack of interest from the other party and I gracefully let go.

I used to be the kind to keep in touch with people long after the desire to be in touch was gone. It was because somehow I used to feel that keeping in touch without expecting any response was the right thing to do. But over time I realized that in matters of the heart such as these, the right thing is not always the best thing. I think a one sided relationship is bound to die sooner than latter. I also realized that such a realtionship dies a rather bitter death.

So for the last many years after trying hard enough to keep a friendship/relationship alive, I have given myself the liberty to let go of it and move on if I do not see any response from the other side. But I also make sure that I leave the door open. If they want to walk in any time again, they are always welcome to.

SS