Discipline Has Changed

Originally Posted by Kamalji

Dear chitra,

Well said.I am on yr side.

In oru days, a note was written in the calender that we used to carry, and we had to get it signed by our parents.So they are aware of whats going on.

we wer also caned at times.And our parents never ever said a thing.

Punishment is always good for the students.Dont we train a new puppy with a trainer, who has to be cruel at times, to teach the dogs.Same is the case with humans.

Even today, i dont mind ticking off my kids if they are wrong sometimes.We loved them, that is why we scold them when the need arisies.

Regards.kamal

Dear Kamal
so very well said.. we do scold our kids because of our love for them.. you know there is a saying "spare the rod and spoil the child"...Though we have never physically beat our kid we are quite strict.. once the kid knows that we are with the educational institution they almost always tow the line:)

Dear Ilites,

I was surfing through & this got my attention. Just wanted to share an incident that happened here in Oz a couple of years ago.

A child was bawling in a supermarket for some sweets, the mother tried to reason with it but no result. She ultimately did what every mom in distress does : Smack it.

Guess what? The kid went on air & divorced the mom. The Media took the kids side.

Hey c'mon people, looks like we are going to face a generation that will be selfish & a type that says : I want it, so I get it or else.....

I believe a bit of control is necessary to ensure the kid grows into a good person.

Spare the rod & spoil the child seems to be the new mantra these days.

Regards,

C

Dear Corallux
Never ever heard of such a thing.. kid divorcing mom.. dont think its legal here..But youve got a good point.. I have actually met quite a few young women married and with kid..who ORDER their husbands to tow the line..if they as much as think then the word is Divorce.. It because it will always be my way or the highway:)

I agree Anandchitra,

Coming from India, it sounds ridiculous. But hey, too much of everything is bad. That included, love , material comforts & freedom.

Some parents were of the view, the child should have no access to Monetary help from govt. But who cares?

The biggest problem here is the Allowances doled out by Centrelink. Newstart allowances etc only tell the kid it is poss to live without parents.

Regards,

Corallux

Originally Posted by anandchitra

Dear Corallux
Never ever heard of such a thing.. kid divorcing mom.. dont think its legal here..But youve got a good point.. I have actually met quite a few young women married and with kid..who ORDER their husbands to tow the line..if they as much as think then the word is Divorce.. It because it will always be my way or the highway:)

Dearest AC

Very nice , interesting and important topic...........i read all the replies by our friends.........and noted all the points.......almost all are correct ........i second u for some punishment is always good for upbringing of the child.....

My son, is tudying in ICSE school run by JK ( J.Krsihnamurthi.LEGEND in writing). .and there they have
NO REWARDS NO PUNISHMENTS.
NO FEAR NOO TEAR........

they treat the child very friendly......and child never feel fear or afraid to go to school or face the princi/ teacher........they are soooooooooooo ..pateince ..and neverever punish the child for anything........they wont even use any harsh words......to the kid.....they feel nothing would happen...if they give punishment.........they dont beleive in that.....instead they want to change the child by pouring UNCONDITIONAL LOVE AND PATEINCE.........so so far.......no bad incidents have occured there.....since they have given enough freedom to the kids..and they too have took that in correct way........not to MISUSE the freedom.............and small kids used to indulge in some activites...in that case.they used to advice the child .in very polite manner.........to my surpise the child wont repeat...the same in the future.......

And, i sometimes get irritated by that FREEDOM.....aspect...i feel some sort of mild punishment and fear shld be threre for students..........since the kids are expcting the parents to be in the samw way..that they are in need of full freedom in the house also....and expect us to be with patience .........and not to punish them for anyhtyhing.....even if they did some wrong i the house.......jus bcos they are used to that in their school.......My son used to lament to me...' U R ONLY BEATING ME FOR EVERYTHING.IF WE DO ANYTHING WRONG IN THE SCHOOL MY TEACHER WONT PUNISH ME LIKE THIS INSTEAD SHE WILL POLITELY EXPALIN ME AND EADVICE ME NOT TO DO SO....."...........U DONT HAVE PATIENCE AT ALL..........i feel that is highly impossible for parents like me..to practise that.........i sometimes worried this FREEDOM may spoil the child........and they also get chance to take EVERYTHING FOR GRANTED...........and i feel they may not be able to face the REALITY OF LIFE........and understand the other side of life..........

Let me stop with this..............hope u got my point..........( iam not very good in writing.....and there may be lot of mistakes...........friends..........pls bear with me....)

my dearmost friend Lata
You are very good in writing and I humly request you to stop saying otherwise..
I was not aware of such school policy though I have heard about school.. very very interesting to note.. its my opinion that the environment has to be balanced.. that helps the chid in the long run..The word discipline for some reason conjures up beating and whippings and such.. not so.. For example my son has to practice music.. he does not like it..We have told he cannot have continous classes if he does not practice..but he wants to learn only does not want to practice.. Here the discipline to sit and practice is very important.. to enforce we have said a simple message.. very softly.. no practice no lessons.. since these lessons cost money :)
After reading everyones turn on this I still feel discipline is important for ALL:) definetly not the abusive or hurt kind.. but it is still a required:)

Children learn not just from school but mainly from home . If the parents do not monitor and correct the misbehaviour at home, the same child will definitely not tolerate any disciplining from anybody else -- whether in school or elsewhere like shops etc.

Some years back, while in Dubai, I have seen my colleagues son , totally left to the care of maids while the parents work. So the few minutes they spend with him in evenings is only for petting him & obviously no strict punishments for anything. One day, I happened to meet her in a shop and while saying hi , that kid came & gave one huge kick in her stomach !! I was appalled , she just smiled & tried to hug him !! He was impatient to go home to his video games it seems --- she had just started picking fruits & he was pulling away the bananas & putting it back in the shelves !! I felt like giving him one whack -- the whole shop was looking as the boy was screaming too while kicking her ---- totally unacceptable behaviour. The poor mother was on the verge of tears, quickly dropped everything and hurriedly grabbed him & left the shop !!!

Recently read a news report of a school in Dubai, where the Grade 3 boy who was just told not to run around the class & disturb others. He kept doing it so the supervisor was called , who came & said the same thing to him. Guess what happened ??? The next day the boy's mum, grandma & maid all came and beat up the poor lady teacher -- who became unconscious & was hospitalized but thankfully no physical wounds , only emotional shock !! The next day the boy's dad comes to principal & says " My son would never have disturbed others. The teacher is at fault for scolding him " ......

It is entirely the parent's responsibility for supporting the school as regards discipline and respect for others. They turn a blind eye to their kid's faults and give a wrong message to their child that they can do whatever they want -- and whatever they do is correct !! This will only lead to more arrogant individuals who become aggressive youth of tomorrow.

Dear Grace
Thank u for writing in; you brought into more perspective than before. The kid hittinghis mother in the stomach...I would have whacked the kid if I ha dbeen there.. As you so very well wrote its all because of their lack of quality time with their kid..
And I just could not believe the other incident.. Its just incredible what parents do these days in the name of supporting their child!

Dear AC
I have been a teacher for more than 30 years. I have never caned a child in my life. Yet I feel that the teacher was right in the punishment he gave. In fact I also feel that enough was not given. The puishment given should not cause any physical harm. It should only create a sense of shame in the mind of the child for having done that. But to be fair to the other side ,saying the punishment was too stringent, today in India a teacher is scared to give any form of punishment at all. Immediately there is not only a hue and cry from parents but the children themselves go to extreme measures of taking their own lives for even petty things. So I feel that the punishment meted out by the teacher in discussion was all that he could do to make the child understand the seriousness of the wrong.
Lakshmi

Dear Lakshmi
Your experience as a teacher is invaluable for your perspective on these issues. I have seen first hand how spoilt children are getting these days and how much more parents indulge them.. thats the way of this world these days:)