Temples Dentist Airhiostesses Maids Etc

Temples,Dentist,Airhostesses Maids Etc


Today morning had the dentist’s appointment, and mom wanted to be dropped on the way to Mahim, to buy Pomfrets for me, which I love very much.the Taxi driver was a Muslim, a very genial person, whom I cocindally met today once again.As we passed Siddhivinayak Temple, today being a Tuesday, there was a huge line of people, maybe a Thousand waiting in line for Lord’s Darshan.It will take them half a day to see the lord and ask him for a wish.


I sometimes wonder, how can people think that by offering God 10/- he will gift u a Merc Car, or a Crore worth of lottery.Would u and me ?Well I will surely rot in hell.


After I dropped Mom, the driver and me got talking,and he showed me the Muslim beggars lined ouside the Restaurants, and Cars stopping to feed them food.The driver , a muslim himself, told me, these guys take coupons instead from the restaurants, and when the amount reaches say 200, give it back for half the money , which is blown away on other vices.Again the same story” Are these guys needy for yr Alms ?”


The Dentist, was telling me stories about various of his patients, as I get bored sitting for hours in one chair in a small room.He said politicians are the worst,when u take a politician, I don’t keep any other appointment, as they can barge in anytime.


The actresses chirp a lot, unnceccary chatter, but he did not name any names.He said the best are the industrialists, who just pay and smile literally, they don’t talk much, are very polite and give u all the attention.


And he said I was an ideal patient, a nice fellow.I have given him my home page to read,and I just hope this guy dosnt remember my blog and laugh halway thru drilling a patient,and u can imagine the results.I could be sued in the bargain, that I was the reason for the accident.!


Fat Airhostesses = Air India has grounded 38 Airhostesses, who they found overweight,according to a new Duck Lewis method type called BMI (Body Mass Index).Well the ladies went to court saying fine, but why aren’t the fat stewards too being grounded.Air India replied, havnt u seen the Maharaja, our mascot, the fat fellow.So the men too have to be rotund all round.Lets see what the courts decide.


Cops = Yest in the papers, there was a test taken of cops somewhere in Maharashtra, to see who was fit and who was fit.Only 3 out of 100 passed the test.Do they want our lean cops to participate in the coming Olympics ?Time will tell.


Holi and Saali – A tale of Incest – Times of India ,Sunday 16^th March 08 pg 17

This was a good one.This is what Laloo Prasad sings in Bihar, in his own words

Holi mein Luto Sali ka Maza
(Play Holi with yr Sister in Law)
Jija ke jeans kari dheela Holi mein
(Lossen the BIL’s Jeans)
Dheerese rangwa Dalu devra bheetra lagela pala re
(Oh brother in law,drop the colours slowly bcs its freezing inside)
Choli bheej gail,devran ke man paseejh gail
(When the Choli , or the blouse gets drenched,the heart of the bIL melts.

Wow.What an errotic song eh.Licence to fool around with yr Sister in law eh !Well we guys were no saints when we used to play holi in Mumbai.That ws before I got married.I was a very shy guy u see.But holi day, we had the liberty to play with the colours and the females,god knows where the inhibitions used to go.Those girls are now married, and maybe grandmothers too by now.Would I like toplay Holi with them now ! Never.They are so old looking ( and I have become younger eh !).Well those were the days, my friends.

Sowing the Seeds – How to become a Father – TOI 16/3 – pg 18

A must read article for its humour and the subject.A guy goes to a fertility clinic, where the nurse hands him a small bottle to take his sample of errr ! This guys dosnt know what it is for, and asks the nurse, and she gives him a dirty look, and tells him to go the loo and fill this up.so many other men go fast and come back fast.One guy even quietly went with his wife inside, and was back in a jiffy.

Our hero, the writer, says the bathroom was the pits,a leaking tap,dark and u know how.After a while , knocking on the door by the other males there, “Jaldi Karo”, and this guy comes out with the empty bottle, and the nurse yells at him.Then another guy there, says wit a wicked smile “ Shall I help you”, and this guys runs for his life.Ultimately our hero wins, but read it, it will tickle u no end.


Surviving Bai – TOI – 16/3/08 – pg 18 – Kavita Kukday


Classic tale of the maids and the problems they create.One maid has a better mobile than her mistress.And complains about the TV, that it is old fashioned,Hilarious really.

A maid tells her mistress,” I don’t want a Saree for Diwali, give me a good mobile.If u cant, then yr neighbour is offering a nice job “HAHAHA

My maid has a better TV amd mobile than me.I feel inferioir if that is the right word to use.Their brothers once upon a time used to take my used clothes and sweaters, now if I offer them half a dozen T shirts, which are good, branded and new but a little tight, they may pick out one, and say give the rest to charity ! What balls and galls these people have .And I cant give away new shoes can I ? They have to be a little worn out.They will inspect , wring their nose, and leave it.Cash is welcome always to them.


Once I gave a Jacket to him, and he says “ To alter this from a tailor , will take me a few hundred bucks, I might as well as buy a new one form the roadside guy selling clothes.

Well people can be choosers eh !My wife keeps complaining to me,the vegetable seller has a better mobile than us,his ringtone is better, these days it seems I have reached a stage where I don’t compete with industrialists but with this category of people .Sigh !


Well more to come soon, that is if I get good comments,otherwise I wont buy news papers and read and take the trouble to type out all this.Beware ladies and Gentlemen, this is yr last chance to comment, otherwise good riddance to bad rubbish, read Kamalji !


KAMAL MAHTANI

Kamalji,

These snippets that you collect and analyse in your humorous style are delightful.

Dentists seem to be the most fearful people. My husband has spoilt most of his teeth dunking into sweets. He has to pay regular visits to the dentist. Once the dentist was drilling his tooth to get it filled. My husband could not bear the sensitivity and kicked the dentist with his feet too hard. The man was furious. Anyone in his position will be. He was the family dentist and he screamed at my husband - "Never come here ever again." Now when we go to India for Dental visits, we go to another dentist. I gave a fore-warning to this dentist that my husband can turn bullish and hit you.

I am happy that our house maids are earning well and going in for all the latest gadgets.

Nivedi,

Your old dentist must have put yr hubby;s pic outside his clinic with the " Most UnWanted Tag" .HAHA.

Its damn painful and difficult to sit in a dentist's chair, i swear by my teeth.Even if Aishwaraiya were the dentist , i wouldnt want her drilling in my teeth Regards.kamal

Dear Kamalji,

Plethora of topics eh? mmmm... Very interesting.
I shall comment on the bai issue. Aaj kal achey pathi se zyada achey bai ki maannathe hoti hain and if you get one believe me you're blessed.

Regards,
Devika

Hi Kamalji,

A varied topic and witty as well...I think Dentist do put the fear of god inside any person....I am having a tooth problem and am putting it off for fear of dentist.....
as far as maids are concerned they are a different headache altogether...mine ran away after taking some money as advance....thats life....

Warm wishes,

Priya.

Devika,

HAHA.Acc to u, u can find a good husband,it is easier than finding a good maid.Let me ask that from yr husband.Lets see what he has to say.

In a way true.Shall i tell u a trick of retaining a maid ? May work, may not,i tired it and it worked well inmy case.

1) Get her a mediclaim policy in her name for say 25000/- It will cost your pocket hardly 400 a year, around 30/- a month.She will be very happy u care for her,and will think twice before leaving u.

2) make a post office recurring for her, say 100 a month, which runs for 5 years.

The minute she leaves, u hand her the passbook, and tell her now she is on her own.She cant touch that money for 5 years.

But suppose u were to increase her salary, by say 200, there is no gratitude, bcs she thinks she deserves it.

I feel this way, she wont go anywhere.Give them no advances at all, and be strict about it.

Ive tried it and found it works well with my home maids and office staff.Regards.kamal

Dear Priya,

Read my reply to Devika, in regards to the maids.Ive had maids working for me, same ones, two sisters for 20 years in a row.Does that qualify me as a good master?or just plain lucky !


I have to do something unusal, that other employers wont do, and its dosnt cost me much, but helps me retain the staff and the maids.Regards.kamal

Dont worry about the dentist,u have to get yur tooth done, get it done.Dont delya.Regards.kamal