Learning to Lie and make Excuses

Learning to Lie and make Excuses

Today i read a great blog on excuses, and it set me thinking.A lot of people come to us all, u and me, asking for loans,which we know will pe paid with a lot running around that person,and spoiling relations in the long run.I will give u some of my examples, how i learn to put off people.



Gujerat Earthquake - So many people came to me, asking for donations for the Earthquake.I told them i have given 501/- to Mr Z and here is the receipt, but they instead said since u have given there, give us too.And there were so many people coming that i was at my wits end.


I called my brother in Mumbai, and since his wife is a Gujerati, he had many times more guys coming for donations.Brother did a smart thing. He knew Drafts made for Earthquake releif funds were not charged DD charges, he got a DD of 1 lakh made in the name of Prime Minister's Earthquake Fund etc, went out of the Bank, got it photocopied, and came back to the bank and got the DD cancelled.When his Gujerati and other peiople started to come for Donations, he showed them the DD photocopy which he pasted on the wall behind him, and told them he has already sent the money to PM Releif Fund, and seeing the amount, everyone went away quietly,and he was saved from those giys, half of whom were golddiggers, who wait for oppportunites like these and Sunami to make a fast buck.

Another of his Tricks - Friends used to call him up, Asking him what he is doing say 2 days from now, and he used to say " Nothing"
Ah in that case, we are passing that area, and we will drop in for a drink ".Or come home,(the other end of Mumbai), for our son's birthday.And this used to leave him fuming.He soon came up with a good one.


Now anyone calls, what are u doing this Sunday.His sixth sense antanee is already up." Yaar, my buyer is coming in those days, so i may be busy.But if i am free, i shall come over for the funtion.So he leaves the option open, to attend or not to attend.And saves himself a lot of misery.


My Friend Suresh - this guy is a class apart.Once i asked him, what to say to a Guy who asks u for money, and u are doubtful if he will return it, bcs he has taken it from so many of yr friends already, and he has this nasty habit, being a spendthrift.His reply,Arre yaar, I had 10,000 surplus an hour back and my other friend X just took it for a week, sorry yaar, if only u had come an hour back, i would have given u.So the borrower dosnt feel bad, and u dont end up lending money.


For Big Loans - Suresh told me this.There is a friend who wants to get his daughter married, and u know he will come to you soon asking for like 5 lakhs or more,and he knows u have the money.How topolitely shoo him off, without hurting him.Here it is.


Spend a 100 bucks on buying a kg of Mithai.Go to this fellow's house, and tell him,Eat this mithai I am veyr happy.Why ? Because I have bought a piece of land in Alibagh ( a place so far away from Jaipur, that the guy wont even visit it, nor ask u keys for the house there),and i got if for say 1 crore,i got it cheap, the guy was in need of immediate money.Now your friend will say,Arre Yaar i was to come to ask u something for my daughter's wedding, and u say, wish if u had told me before,i wouldnt have bought that house/land.Your daughter is my daughter, oh buddy so sorry .But dont u worry, the Lordis always there.If my door has closed, ten others will open for you, friend.


The friend will feel, that if u had the money, you would have surely helped him.I feel we all have to learn to lie sometimes,when the lie dosnt hurt anyone,and it helps u from parting with yr hard earned money.Pure Gold is brittle and useless unless mixed with some alloys tomake it strong and usefull.Same is the case in life.Be honest and find yrself in lots of misery, and short on cash.


So i keep learning, and i have used these many a times in my life, and saved a lot of money,and misery.So the next times if any of you God forbid, want to borrow money from me, you know what excuses i can come up with, with a straight face.See u are my friends, so i will do everything to make sure u remain my friends, and my money remains with me in the bargain.Cheers



KAMAL MAHTANI

Hello Kamalji,

I honestly don't know what to say to this piece of yours. You have left me gaping. I must say you have managed to put into words a dilemma most people face, but what about the idiom "a friend in need is a friend indeed". if one cannot go to a friend in times of need then where do we turn to. I understand if the person is one who takes advantage of you. I also see the wit in your piece. So you have put me in a quandary. A great piece.

Regards,

Aqua

Priya,

Firstly thanks for this being yr first comments to this blog.Maybe people ahve not liked it, so ther eis a dearth of comments.

Actually, why ask money in friendship.Nowadays banks are ready to give u personal loans or housing loans.So if a person is found unworthy of aloan goes to a friend.

Money spoils relationships, and hence i recemmond not to ask and give money.Regards.kamal

Hello Kamalji
A real good topic.......... I too go according to Priya "a friend in need is a friend indeed"
I am a person when someone comes to me I always go and help them and my DH too is the same.
I agree on you that there are all types of loans today which we get it easily........But many a time such thing happen even after taking some loan that is not enough so a person needs some more when that person goes to get loan for the second time for the same work he will not get loan...........
I agree with you sometimes money spoils relations.............
I liked the excuses that you gave..............can everyone is smart enough to give such excuses???????

Aruna,

Well it all depends.Yes if u have taken a loan from that person, then it is yr duty to give him the loan.But otherwise u are not bound to, are u ?

I have given many a times, and received the money in bits and pieces, and after a long time, sometimes not at all.

Well we all keep learning, and we can lie to save our skins and our money, cant we ? We all can learn this.I have learnt it, and gotton a lot of people off my back.

There is this person who asked me for a loan for his daughter’s weddings, I gave him.When he did not give me for a logn time, I yelled at him, and he said,if u had not given, do u think my duahgtrer’s wedding would have been called off? God is always there, he tells me.

Ultimately I recovered that money after a while, and now I tell this dialogue to manyu a friends of mine, that God is always there for u.

It s just common sense to invent these excuses.I have them ready in my pocket, and keep my eyes and ears open, and if I see a friend having a wedding or something, I prepare myself with new excuses.

And I make it a [point never ever to borrow.I make do without many things, till I have the money with me.

Thanks and regards.kamal

Dear Kamalji
What you say here I do agree with you but can't understand why people do so much of show off during marriages.......I too have come across many who take loan for the kids marriage when you don't have enough money why can't they have simple marriages......why so much of pomp and show...........
The last line is superb..............why do anyone want to borrow the money and satisfy oneselves wants..............it is better to go without it then be in debt.......
I too hate to borrow money it is better to be happy in whatever I have got.

Originally Posted by Kamalji

Aruna,

Well it all depends.Yes if u have taken a loan from that person, then it is yr duty to give him the loan.But otherwise u are not bound to, are u ?

I have given many a times, and received the money in bits and pieces, and after a long time, sometimes not at all.

Well we all keep learning, and we can lie to save our skins and our money, cant we ? We all can learn this.I have learnt it, and gotton a lot of people off my back.

There is this person who asked me for a loan for his daughter’s weddings, I gave him.When he did not give me for a logn time, I yelled at him, and he said,if u had not given, do u think my duahgtrer’s wedding would have been called off? God is always there, he tells me.

Ultimately I recovered that money after a while, and now I tell this dialogue to manyu a friends of mine, that God is always there for u.

It s just common sense to invent these excuses.I have them ready in my pocket, and keep my eyes and ears open, and if I see a friend having a wedding or something, I prepare myself with new excuses.

And I make it a [point never ever to borrow.I make do without many things, till I have the money with me.

Thanks and regards.kamal

dear kamalji,

good thread you have started.................
i have had this bitter experiences...................... with very close very friend of ours who are really wealthy.............infact they are far related to my husband too...........
but they were in lots of debts, so they came to us asked for Rs.1lac, they said they will return it within 4 to 5 months............................ and we gave them......... then after 10 months we just called them and asked for the money since we were really in need of money as we had to buy a flat in chennai...................

that aunty said "what is this padma, we will not run away with your money, we will return it next month", again we waited for 3 months and called them again.......... she never answered our call , then we sent my brother who stays in blore and he got a cheq...........after a week we got our money, but the turmoil what we underwent cannot be forgotten..............yes here we learnt a lesson, not to give money to anybody, we say GOD Almighty is there is to help everyone on earth.............
we got some money as interest after 18 months ..........now they dont even call us for anything................. and we dont feel for that, but you know the impact that incident has created in us
i dont say everybody is bad, some people,.................., some times....................,
the velocity of people dont match..........
thanks a lot for sharing your experiences................... kamalji
bye
love
padma

Aruna,

Empty vessels make the most sound.Empty pocket people borrow and show off during their daughter’s weddings, for reasons ebst known to them.


Like I said, I have learnt to buy only when I have the money,otherwise I stay put.And I use my credit cards under extreme emergencies, when I am short of cash, and I pay off the bill immediately when I receive it, not waiting for the last day.

This is a habit I have imbibed, as also not lending, when not required.I am not bound to lend, when I have not borrowed froma that person.Simple and straight.We have to learn to be firm.Better annoy a friend by not lending, than by losing a friend by lending.

Thanks and regards.kamal

Dear Padma,

That was one bitter expierence u learnt the hard way, just as we all do in the course of life.

Learn a few excuses,and keep them ready, and keep yr eyes and ears open for any function that yr close friends may have soon in the future, and start cribbing casually that u are hard up for money,maybe u have excessively bought extra jewellery etc.The friend cannot tell u to sell the jewellery and loan him the money.HAHA.They wont ever approach u for a loan, good riddance really.


Let me give u a small example.I export garments, and we do give credit but in limits.A buyer of mine was telling me that I ask money very fast for the goods etc.I told him a silly excuse.I said my mother is getting old and senile.She has tole me Kamal u have two daughters and u must buy Gold and Jewellery and keep, and she forced me to buy a lot of it,hence I am short of money, otherwise I know u are the safest person whom I can trust with my money.

I told my wife and mother that in case they ask, tell the same story, as this buyer is my cousin also, and can catch my mother offguard.

It so happened that the buiyer fell for my story, and was kind enough to send me the money faster than usual, feeling sorry for the poor Kamalji, who has two daughters to marry off.HAHA.


So instead of me giving him credit, he said Kamal if ever u are short of money for yr daughter’s wedding, feel free to contact me for a loan.Wow, I thought , I can lie so well, and innocently.HAHA.

So we all can come up with silly and innovative excuses to save our hard earned money, from these so called borrowers who come in the guise of friends and relatives.

Regards.kamal

I guess we can use a bit of discretion in identifying the really deserving cases and the ones who are perennial problems. In most of the cases, we know if the person approaching us is genuine or not, and if we feel the case is OK, then there may be no harm in taking a look or helping. But if we feel otherwise, then there is no point in pursuing. I feel we should not shut the doors on someone, without a thought on the genuinity of the case.