Saying GoodBye

Jaynat · Feb 21, 2008

Today is the day I took my daughter(grade 2) to say GoodBye to her friends and staff at school (Istanbul International School). We are planning to relocate to Chennai(for various reasons, education being one of them) from this beautiful (at present a white and snowy) city of Istanbul.

I had been keeping her at home for the second term due to our pending relocation. So needless to say the child was very excited about meeting all her friends. She is an only Indian Child in her class , rest are mostly Birtish and American children.

As soon as we entered the classroom , her classmates(totally 12 of them) came running from their places and hugged her in delight. I stopped, pushed back from her as she was sorrownded by her friends who were so happy to see her. IT took a while for them to settle down and even then i could see that each of them were trying to sit or stand next to her. So happy were they to see her.

I wanted to let the child enjoy her last day at school and also wanted to take a lot of photos for her to treasure always. Here i am taking her away from children and teachers who are so glad to have her as part of them. I am taking her for her own betterment( or so i assume), i am taking her to learn things the indian way, I am taking her to study in India in the preferred CBSE/ ICSE stream so that she can have a good future/ career.

I am taking her away from her british teacher who is more interested in teaching the children about Nature, who loves to take them on nature outings to make them experience Nature and enjoy it the way it should be enjoyed, who teaches them Maths by making them think.I am taking her away from her friends who are from diverse backgrounds and different countries and from whom she has learnt so much about various countries and their culture and traditions. But i am smart because i am taking her to learn Science and Maths and History and Geography through textbooks in India.

I see the happy faces and the atmosphere where my daughter had been instantly accepted and had made a place for herself. I see them playing and having fun in the playgrounds fully covered in snow. I see her teacher hugging her and saying she is going to miss her star pupil. All this makes me pause and wonder , am i doing the right thing.

It is time to leave and i have taken more than a dozen photographs to remember the day and it is time to say the dreaded word GOODBYE. Those young faces turn to me and their eyes question me, How can you do this? Why are you taking our friend away from us? I could not bear the accusation in their eyes and i hurry to the restroom to shed a few silent tearns. I come back to see them hugging each other and promising to write and call and i see my daughter standing in the middle trying bravely not to cry while saying goodbye.

We come home, she happy to have seen her friends one more time and goes to bed saying she will never forget them and they are her best friends. She says this with a smile and a single tear in her eyes and leaves me to stay awake the rest of the night drying my tears......

Jay.

Shanvy · Feb 21, 2008

Jay,

Saying Goodbye, is very difficult and from a child's point it is more so...Have faced this situation almost 6 times (yes that is the number of times my DD has moved schools and places).

But don't worry, she will make great friends when she comes back after the initial acclimatising....

All the best for your R2I.

hasita · Feb 21, 2008

Dear Jaynat,
What a beautifully written piece that was. I can feel you feeling your child's sorrow at her parting with her (as good as "lifelong") friends.

I especially like your description of the manner of educating the child. Seems they're doing a wonderful job out there in Istanbul.

All the same, I hope and pray your decision is for the best.
best,
Hasita

Jey · Feb 21, 2008

Hi Jaynat,

WoW! Wonderfully written. Did you also notice that Vandhana and Cheeniya have nominated this for finest posts?
Well deserved!

Jaynat · Feb 21, 2008

Dear Shanvy and Hasita thanks for your wishes . Jey Sir thank you for your words of encouragement and I did not notice the list of nominations. Thank you cheeniya sir and vandhana madam for nominating the same. I have been a silent admirer of both your writings in the forum on various issues and i am happy that u both liked the thoughts penned down by me.

Jay

Meenaneelakantan · Feb 21, 2008

Dear Jaynat ma'am

Wow! Tears were peeping out of my lachrymal glands while reading your piece! I was reminded of that day when i last entered to my school where i was till my eighth standard!

My parents took me to my school for the last time before leaving my native Madurai to Chennai. I controlled my tears seeing all those stone benches n gardens carrying memories of our lunch breaks, the sight of love birds i have admired for long, the throw ball net which was the root for more friendship bondings, sports room where we had always fought to take tennis rackets, volley balls n the very big sports ground which has witnessed a standing ovation when 150 of us danced for a song from the movie 'jodi' with nothing but perfection on account of 50th independence day, the corridors that echoed with 'Good morning,sir', 'Good morning,ma'am', the prayer ground where i had stood many times infront of the huge gathering to read daily news after our prayers, but i was not able to control that single drop which came out of my eye when my Vice-Principal told my mom, "Please leave her with me, i will take care of her. Why do you want to take her along with you when i am here? You know that i am not married (she was in her fifties then) n i would like to do her all that a mom does for her daughter." Even now these words keep ringing inside my ears. My heart was heavy that day.

Now that I have completed my higher secondary n almost on the verge of completing my college studies, I know all these separations are part of life n no matter whether we want or not, we cannot stop them coming our way. But that first separation n that first good-bye is something which takes the credit of giving a heavy feel to our hearts n minds whenever we think of it!

Your daughter is very brave enough for controlling herself from crying in front of others! N that too at that age, well i :bowdown now. I think had she known you were crying the rest of the night, she surely would have got up to wipe those tears coming out of your eyes instead of getting up n joining in shedding tears along with you!

But i am smart because i am taking her to learn Science and Maths and History and Geography through textbooks in India.

I :bowdown for these words of yours!!!

My love :kiss n best wishes for your sweet little daughter!

Love
Meena

Vysan · Feb 21, 2008

Dear Jaynat,

It is a great write up... It will be initially difficult for the child... Then they will forget and pick up new friends in new schools and days to come....

The way you have described the studies are taught there, seems interesting.... The kids are cute....

All the best for your R2I....

Veda

Jaynat · Feb 21, 2008

Dear Meena and Vysan

Thank you both for your nice messages and wishes. Yes you are right seperations are a part of life and we see them taking place at all circumstances in everybody's life. Though it happens frequently it is something one takes time getting used to...True Children adapt themselves faster to people and places than elders do.

Our minds look forward to the Future with Hope but Our hearts tend to look back on those precious moments and memories which makes life worth living. We hold on to such memories, dust them and keep them refreshed in order to find comfort in them during our moments of loneliness.

Meena, Kids now a days are very smart and we can find them conducting themselves with utmost dignity in most of the situations.

Jay.

Arunarc · Feb 21, 2008

Dear Jaynat
I know this word Goodbye the most difficult word to say to friends.
I have gone through this 8 times everytime my son changed his school till today.
As soon as he gets use to school, friends and fully settled we get a transfer order and you should see his face, we too feel sorry for him sometimes but what even we can do, as we all wish to be together.
But yes kids get adjusted to the new enviroment fast and start making new friends. He is still in touch with some of his old friends and keep sending mails to each other. I too have stored some pictures of his goodbyes but he has forgotten now some of the things only some faded memories left. Now he is in class 12
The way you have written this was touchy about ur daughter she is really brave.
My Love to your daughter......

vase · Feb 21, 2008

Hi Jay

That was really very touching! By the time I came to the end of the post, my eyes were filled with tears! I liked the way you have written - especially the tone of guilt when you wrote 'I am smart ..... to teach maths etc through textbooks....'. I think you are doing the right thing for your child.

Yes; I too have experienced the same - moving from Pune to Hyderabad - my son had to leave his school friends, friends in the neighbourhood and come.

No doubt it would be painful for the children as well as us parents! But I guess, they being children, get used to the new surroundings much faster than us!

All the best to you and your child!

Cheers!