Depressor Thy Name Is Love

THE DEPRESSORS:
Ever found your life filled with many depressors and am sorry to state most are men, when you are awarded people want to know as to what have you written so well that you got awarded, or acted so well and some feel a let down, some sarcastically state this? Is an understatement of the our time, the trouble they take to belittle your efforts, one makes you wonder why the hell did I ask his opinion, when I have proof enough to tell what my grey matters hold.

There are many among us who would consider it a waste of time, and some feel the plot is not thick enough to present the actual situation I had in mind, the drive crazy lot keep asking you so what? many a time to make you feel is this argument called for. There are those who would love to ooze their sarcasm trying how deep they can hurt you and these are supposed to be people who matter more in our life.

These people love their opinion emphasized where your dressing is concerned,
What you should wear along to the shades of saris to jewelry to flowers and adornment, sometime even the mehandi in hand is disgusting to them, the glass bangles are a big nono and then the anklets with a jingles and the key chain on your hip with any bells in them and so on, in total they rule not only your being but your taste. One has to forego every small little thing which even our fathers never bothered these men have a say.

The same thing is applied by woman too, they also rule about what they should do and wear and even beard and shaving and so on. Perfumes that can be put up with kind, the matching color of tie and vehicle I could go on,
But it is not the things but the addressing of each issue sends one to a senile state as to what you do can always be wrong or right.

Where are the men, who love you for what you are and anything you do is appreciated, or is it only in imagination and fiction of life, that we long to have around to put together our feelings like a bouquet of fragrance of life.

Dear sunkan,
I was never been one among those who dress up for others!! Luckily my father never commented about the way we(me and my sis) dress. Whenver he accompanies us to shop, he peers through the dress for the neck line. I would give him a long stare and he would smile and get away. But, he has ingrained the habit to dress PROPERLY into us, that we are very conscious about our dressing. But i dont give a damn to what others think of my dressing. My mom, she wears only 9 yards(changed from 6 yards before 3 years), but even today if we go out, she doesn't change it to ordinary 6 yards sarees for fearing what others would think of her. Not only my mom, my perima, chithi they have all been wearing this attire since they got married, mom was lucky to escape that in young age,since her inlaws never bothered about those things. Its out of her own interest she changed to conventional attire. Its not only in my culture, in every culture, men and women should not hesitate to pose themselves as they wish. Just like how doctor wear their coats, police wears their uniforms and children their uniforms, i think every dressing carries its meaning. Who are others to comment on us!
Oh have i deviated frm the topic! hope not!

Originally Posted by padmasowrirajan

Dear sunkan,
I was never been one among those who dress up for others!! Luckily my father never commented about the way we(me and my sis) dress. Whenver he accompanies us to shop, he peers through the dress for the neck line. I would give him a long stare and he would smile and get away. But, he has ingrained the habit to dress PROPERLY into us, that we are very conscious about our dressing. But i dont give a damn to what others think of my dressing. My mom, she wears only 9 yards(changed from 6 yards before 3 years), but even today if we go out, she doesn't change it to ordinary 6 yards sarees for fearing what others would think of her. Not only my mom, my perima, chithi they have all been wearing this attire since they got married, mom was lucky to escape that in young age,since her inlaws never bothered about those things. Its out of her own interest she changed to conventional attire. Its not only in my culture, in every culture, men and women should not hesitate to pose themselves as they wish. Just like how doctor wear their coats, police wears their uniforms and children their uniforms, i think every dressing carries its meaning. Who are others to comment on us!
Oh have i deviated frm the topic! hope not!

how about husbands who love to see you in their fav colors, any limit there like the title it is more from the love, rather than others.

fathers better abide by us, we rule them but the rest they rule us, even children go get sarees which they feel you would look good in, may be i am in the group who love to choose what i wear and got the wrath of those who loved me to not approve though i knew i looked good in it...sunkan

Oh sunkan
I didn't mean that. Of course , i would wear something they love to see me in, but definitely not for the sake of impressing others(u know, on-lookers). That was what i wanted to convey. It always brings them happiness when they see you in their fav color or fav dress.

hi Sunkan,
nice topic. I for one always thought that I should wear what I like. During my college days I used to have arguments with my mom for she always chose my sarees and was totally against the colour I used to choose. It was always my dad who used to support me and save my from my mom's overpowering decisions. After marriage also I have my choice though my husband suggests and he sure knows I would listen only when I want to leaves my selection to me and has happily left buying clothes to me. My son used to tell me when he was as small as a three year old to wear or not to wear a dress or saree. I think I got him (hopefully, for it would save me from his future wife's curses) out of that habit by just doing the opposite of what he used to say most of the time. But still I find only my mom arguing with me (Nee eppavume ethe mathili dull coulourthan eduthupw sonnallum puriyathu onakku). But now I just smile back.
Hope this is relevant to the topic.
uma

Originally Posted by umasaras

hi Sunkan,
nice topic. I for one always thought that I should wear what I like. During my college days I used to have arguments with my mom for she always chose my sarees and was totally against the colour I used to choose. It was always my dad who used to support me and save my from my mom's overpowering decisions. After marriage also I have my choice though my husband suggests and he sure knows I would listen only when I want to leaves my selection to me and has happily left buying clothes to me. My son used to tell me when he was as small as a three year old to wear or not to wear a dress or saree. I think I got him (hopefully, for it would save me from his future wife's curses) out of that habit by just doing the opposite of what he used to say most of the time. But still I find only my mom arguing with me (Nee eppavume ethe mathili dull coulourthan eduthupw sonnallum puriyathu onakku). But now I just smile back.
Hope this is relevant to the topic.
uma

dear uma,
your mother is a milder version to all what i have said, my husband has donated the saree right in front of me to my sis, all because he does not like me wearing it, and if i rebel this is what happens, and now i am tired of telling i like this or that as i have over powering people around and have just taken it in stride and lost my id itself, so now all i do is meditate when things happen this way as all are so worried how i should look so the independant shopping days have all gone by..now they treat me like a kid, mom went shopping saw this and felt this is toooo good on u...now i have many sarees like these...sunkan

Dear Sunkan,

Nice thread... Logical mind says leave it at that... But Dil Chahtha hai more...

I still remember this dialogue in my cousins marriage... My cousin and her heband both are Doctors... The friend of the groom came and told/adviced my cousin for the reception that get a beautician and do some make up... so that it will be nice... This friend is also a Doctor... My cousin in her own usual style says... it is enough... what more ... what is there is ok.... But he cooly turns around and says... What is there will only be there... But we can make it little more beautiful by doing make up...

We all like our partners as they are and for what they are(????...) But when we tell to do this/that... it will only make the person to look little better... Thats all... Atleast this is the case with me...

Dont ask me the question, do you follow when Shan says or vice versa...

Originally Posted by Vysan

Dear Sunkan,

Nice thread... Logical mind says leave it at that... But Dil Chahtha hai more...

I still remember this dialogue in my cousins marriage... My cousin and her heband both are Doctors... The friend of the groom came and told/adviced my cousin for the reception that get a beautician and do some make up... so that it will be nice... This friend is also a Doctor... My cousin in her own usual style says... it is enough... what more ... what is there is ok.... But he cooly turns around and says... What is there will only be there... But we can make it little more beautiful by doing make up...

We all like our partners as they are and for what they are(????...) But when we tell to do this/that... it will only make the person to look little better... Thats all... Atleast this is the case with me...

Dont ask me the question, do you follow when Shan says or vice versa...

nice to see u around again veda,
u went missing for sometime, ya many a time we do vanish and come back, hope all are fine at ur end. yes it is nice to see your spouse wonderful, but have a heart she also needs space, may be very fond of some colors, and like it, marriage should have space too, ok u like it fine, but please wear it when u go alone, come with the color i like this time please is a lot better. hope shanthi too agree with me here..sunkan