Why this difference?

A very thought provoking post. I used to have arguements with my mother on such topics when I was a teenager. She never knew the answers, she said she just accepted what elders told.
My father passed away in 2002 and I did not celebrate any festival that year, I mourned him. My hubby was understanding in that so it was not a problem. In some families, they stick to this practise so much that they even mourn a relative they would not have met at all.
We should slowly change this practise in these times.

Dear Varloo, Thanks for peeping in. Some men do understand the feelings of the women and allow them to stay away from the festivals. But some families really never understand the feelings of the lady just ignore her and continue celebrating the festivals. This is really very sad.

My father passed away in Feb this year.We have not celebrated any festival so far.My husband also did not do.My mother in law agreed.I bought clothes only for my children,as my father used to tell the younger generation should wear.I think when we follow the restrictions on the husband's side the wife's side should also be adhered to.Times are changing so should we.Wife has also feelings how will she celebrate when she is mourning.This is very very unfair.

Sujatha,

Well no clear cut answers really.As u said there should be no difference in the grief and by justice,diwali should not be celebrated.

women has a slight disadvantage for sure, at least in india.

After marriage, they have to leave their home to go to the husband's home, and have to change all the 3 names.Why not the husband move into the wife's home and he changes all his 3 names ?

So really these are customs,age old ones, so let them go on, why disturb the apple cart Sujata?

Regards.kamal

Dear Kanaka, Thanks for your reply. U r really lucky to have an understanding husband and mil. Many of the ladies donot have the same. This is because still the women r treated as someone lower to men by our society.

Dear Kamalji, Thanks for peeping in. It may be easy for u to say why disturb the apple cart. But it the women who r affected by the various systems followed in our society. Only if there is small give and take in the family then the respect and love can prevail. Many men do not understand this and stick to their rules. But they never realize that ultimately they r the losers.